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It’s Okay to Feel Bad

Conscious creators get a lot of input about how important it is to feel good.

We know that we get what we vibrate, so any time we feel bad, we’re a magnet for more of the same.

That understanding can leave us unwilling or uncomfortable to roll with the less than fabulous feelings.

Even our muggle friends sometimes get impatient with our bad moods or worry rants, and tell us to snap out of it or to look on the bright side.

But sometimes the bright side is simply out of reach.

And trying to get there before we’ve let ourselves feel what’s up isn’t helpful or effective.

Yes, sometimes we can catch a bad turn before it takes hold, and redirect before it gets traction.

But on other occasions this is the time for feeling bad.

That’s when it’s best to drop resistance to those “negative” feelings and roll with them. Because whatever we resist, persists.

That’s why it’s worth remembering that it’s okay to feel bad, when you feel bad.

  • It’s okay to feel mad when you’re mad.
  • It’s okay to feel sad when you’re sad.
  • It’s okay to feel scared when you’re scared.
  • It’s okay to feel whatever you feel.

It’s all part of being human.

So you can drop your judgment of it; you can stop wishing it away; and you can drop your fear of what you’re attracting while you’re feeling bad.

And instead just feel what you feel.

That allowing is part of a savvy creator’s repertoire.

A funny thing happens when we say yes to whatever we’re feeling …

We start to feel better. Maybe not immediately, but eventually.

And all that contrast we cooked up while we were feeling bad, it pays off. Life gets better than it was before.

In all sorts of ways.

Big, beautiful, brilliant ways. (The kind of ways that make you glad for what you went through!)

But not while we’re trying not to feel bad. Resistance to those emotions keeps us locked in them.

So this is our reminder while there are a lot of challenging situations across the globe right now (let alone what’s happening in our personal lives), that it’s okay to feel whatever we feel.

It’s okay to feel afraid, it’s okay to feel angry. It’s okay to feel sad.

And it’s okay to feel okay when everyone else isn’t.

Say yes to whatever’s up for you emotionally, and notice how quickly it gets even better.

  • September 9, 2017

Making Peace With Cat Pee (Is Hard)

A fellow creator asked today if I had manifesting tips for when cats pee on things.

“Oh boy,” I sighed. “Making peace with cat pee is hard.”

And that’s what you have to do to get rid of what you don’t want – you have to stop not wanting it.

But who wants cat pee?!

It’s surely from the devil. So toxic. So permanent.

Even skunk smells eventually fade!

Cat pee I found to be a personal challenge.

Manifesting financial windfalls in no time? No problem. Transforming relationships with crackhead neighbors? Done. Changing the past? I’ll lead the way.

But dropping resistance to feline urinary misdeeds at home? Ay yi yi.

That’s tricky business.

At least, for me it is. Because I have a charge on this subject.

A charge is when we have a really strong emotion on a subject we really don’t want.

And flowing that kind of energy guarantees we experience it again and again and again.

In fact, this podcast explains what a charge is, where they come from and what to do when you spot one.

But basically, we know that whatever we really don’t want we become strong magnets for.

Because strong emotion is irresistible to Universe.

It hears it as a siren call for more of the same.

So yeah, I know this prinicple, inside and out. I don’t doubt it for a single second.

And yet – making peace with the stuff we Really Don’t Want is hard.

I’m not going to elaborate on the horrors of cat urine on furniture or carpets, but suffice it to say, it was easier for me to accept my highest weight ever than it was to accept freakin’ cat pee on my favorite freakin’ reading chair.

I had an easier time letting go men I loved dearly than getting okay with inappropriate elimination in my home.

So. This post serves two purposes:

One, to offer tips for anyone who’s manifesting a urine-free environment while still keeping their best feline friends at home.

And two, to demonstrate the process that makes it possible to drop resistance to whatever we strongly don’t want.

Does it sound like a magic trick?

And I certainly didn’t succeed on my first try, or my second, or even third attempt.

This one took practice.

You might find the same thing for whatever you’re strongly not wanting in your life.

I wasted time trying to manifest cats who didn’t pee on furniture while I had such a strong charge on the subject. That vibrational charge wouldn’t allow for an easy resolution because it served as a contrary instruction.

Second, I personally couldn’t get to the place where I was okay living with the smell of cat urine in the house. I just flat out wasn’t down with that. No one should have to live that way.

And giving up cats was absolutely not an option – although, even if I’d tried that, I had such strong feelings about it that I’m sure Universe would have found a way to get some on my $*&@% pillow. Because it’s creative like that.

No amount of action can overcome a strong vibration.

(Proven by multiple vet visits and extra litter boxes with different litters and animal communicator sessions.)

Experience had shown me I couldn’t action my way out of this problem.

So what I did when I moved into the new house (and even more strongly didn’t want cats to pee in this brand new pee-free place – it had new furniture and clean carpets!) was to find a way to make it not such a big deal if they did it.

How could I get to the place where I was okay with cat pee?

Well, if it didn’t ruin my furniture, that would be a nice start. If the cleanup was easier, that would go a long way in feeling easier about the whole thing. If I were willing to replace furniture regularly, or if I knew there was an end to this routine at some point in my life, that might help, too. So I’d do the average lifespan math on my problem pee-ers every once in a while, and remind myself how much I’d miss them when they were gone. I suggested to self that perhaps this was a good excuse to have a regular rotation of new furniture and carpets. It’s just money, after all.

That maybe moved me a little bit in the right vibrational direction, but it wasn’t transformational.

What really worked in taking the charge off cat pee was this:

I devised a setup whereby if they peed somewhere other than a litterbox, the cleanup would be more effective and easier to accomplish.

(I put mylar emergency blankets on the potential preferred peeing spots and covered them with easy to wash blankets.)

The world would not end if a cat picked the new sofa instead of the litterbox to relieve herself.

Indeed, it became something of a game, where I felt triumphant every time I outwitted a cat and was able to eliminate their mess with no trace they’d ever been there.

“Ha ha!” I’d shout to cats who weren’t listening and didn’t care. “You are foiled again!”

My vibe went from resistant to triumphant.

Yes, I was doing a lot of laundry, but my system was working.

And guess what?

It was no longer such a big deal if someone peed where they shouldn’t.

And guess what else?

Pretty soon, they stopped peeing in all but one place – a meditation cushion that I’m happy to let them have if that’s what it takes for peace to reign.

I don’t even keep the emergency blankets on the couches any more!

As I chilled out about it (because I found a way to truly relax), they stopped doing it.

Funny how that works, huh?

While it’s not my highest joy to write about cat pee challenges, I am happy to share proof that we can release resistance on the things that bother us most. And once we do so, our reality changes, too.

What to do if your charge is on something like money, or relationships, or health issues instead of stupid cat pee?

It’s the same process …

Find a way to relax about it.

Get a second source of income. Remind yourself you’ll find love again. Or that kids grow up and move out. Practice loving your body as is.

Whatever’s bothering you, there are all sorts of ways we can change how we feel about it, whether it’s finding different thoughts or taking creative action that gives vibrational relief.

Whatever you do, please don’t expect that you’ll be able to create what you want while under the spell of a highly charged negative focus. The system just isn’t setup to ignore that kind of instruction.

And if you have tips for how to make peace with something strongly unwanted, we’d love to hear them in the comments.

Thanks for reading, and for joining me in visioning a happy household where eliminations by all parties are appropriate and desired. Where humans and felines get along fabulously, with lots of respect and appreciation for each other and for the furniture.

And so it is. 🙂

  • April 13, 2017

How (& Why) To Love Cancer, Extra Weight, and Maybe Even Donald Trump

How To Drop Resistance & Find LoveA fellow creator said something today that I absolutely loved for its paradoxical thinking: “The cancer saved me.”

She was quoting Anita Moorjani’s story about how her experience with cancer woke her up to her true self and inspired her to live authentically.

What a gift, right? And from cancer!

That’s a powerful vibrational shift, to go from fearing/hating something to appreciating it.

Reminds me of how I’ve said that the extra weight I carried taught me unconditional love for self. (Those pounds just refused to go until I learned how to love them. And then they said, ok, our work here is done.)

Dropping that kind of resistance opens us up to the good things that we were closed off to with our old way of thinking.

Lisa Hayes shared another example of how to make a big vibrational leap when she wrote about her current take on American politics. (Which, as some of you may know, the US presidential election scene hasn’t been all love and light lately.)

Here it is in her words:

Lisa Hayes, The Love WhispererFirst of all, if you’re a Trump-loving Republican, forgive me in advance and read this anyway.

Anyone who knows me doesn’t have to try very hard to figure out how I feel about Donald Trump. I’ll just say I have strong feelings and they aren’t positive. Which is why when I realized I’m secretly rooting for him to win the Republican nomination no one was more surprised than me.

You might be wondering why, and the answer is simple.

If Donald Trump wins the Republican nomination, one of two things will happen. Our next President will either be a woman or a Socialist, and I’m fine with either outcome. Yes, I have a preference about those two possibilities, but at the end of the day, I’m good either way. (Please don’t email me to tell me why you hate Hillary or Bernie. Let me keep my zen on this one.)

Donald Trump guarantees that one way or the other we’re about to make history.

I’ve spent a lot of time and energy trying to figure out how to manage my vibration around The Donald. My genius partner pointed out to me a couple of weeks ago that if we’re not all careful we’ll get a Trump Presidency the same way we got a Bush Presidency, by focusing so intently on what we don’t want.

And I know this, but I was still struggling.

Then I sat down one afternoon and devoted a couple of hours to doing the math. I’ve been paid to do precinct by precinct statistical analysis in presidential races for candidates before. This isn’t exactly foreign to me. So, rather than just staying in the stream of seventh-seal-of-hell-level freakout, I got out my district voting record data charts and did the analysis.

Here’s what I found. The Donald can’t win the general. There is no path to victory for him. I’m not alone in that analysis. Most people whose numbers I historically respect agree.


Suddenly I’m not resisting him at all. I still loathe what he stands for, but I’m secretly pulling for him. When I see him on TV or online, I’m reminded of the saying about how Southern people don’t hide their crazy people. (They parade it on the front porch and give it a sweet tea.) When I see his face, I say to myself, “Bless your poor little heart” and move on.

I figured out how to befriend one of my biggest vibration dingers.

You can, too. Make a list of your top five vibration dingers. Then take the bottom two on that list, and find a way to spin the story so you can befriend the very thing that’s been bugging the crap out of you. After you’ve successfully cleared up the easier ones, work your way up the list.

Make it a game. Enlist help if you need it. You’ll be amazed how much energy you will free up.

Jeannette here again. Whether your vibrational bumps in the road happen to be political, environmental, professional, financial, or are showing up in your relationships – or wherever they might be, use the inspiration from Anita and Lisa to find a new take on what you’ve been resisting.

If they can make friends with cancer and Trump, I believe anything is possible for us, too. 🙂

  • March 30, 2016

How I Learned Resistance Is Futile

Resistance Is Futile (What We Resist Persists)I intend this story about the futility of resisting what we don’t want inspires you to engage your creative powers better than I did a few years back …
After nearly five years of marriage, I divorced in the 90s. While it was a mostly amicable divorce, I knew I never wanted to do it again.
It just wasn’t my idea of a good time – lawyers, judges, court fees, strangers in my personal business. Not super fun.
So it’s a simple fix to avoid that, right? Just don’t get married again.
Surely that would work, right?
Because what we resist persists.
And when we have a strong charge on something, whether wanted or unwanted, it’s a beacon requiring it to manifest. No matter how “impossible” it might seem. No matter what action we take to guarantee the opposite.
I would have sworn that no way could I get divorced again when I refused to marry! That just couldn’t happen.
But … a couple years ago during a less than fabulous breakup with a live-in co-mortgagee boyfriend, when we were not in agreement about who should stay and who should go, he threatened that his divorce attorney said a judge would force the sale of the house if we couldn’t agree.
“Your divorce attorney?!” I couldn’t believe my ears.
He hired an attorney?! I was stunned.
And no, we did not meet the qualifications for a common law marriage (I’d made certain of that over the years), so there should not have been any blankety-blank attorneys involved.
And yet, there they were.
Because when he said that, I got over myself and hired one, too.
My attorney confirmed a judge would never rule that. He also said a judge wouldn’t see us to begin with since we weren’t married. We would have to file mutual consent to be treated as a married couple, in which case I would be eligible to receive half his retirement account.
So I told my ex he needed a new attorney because he was getting terrible advice that could be very costly if he pursued this line.
Which was my ex’s turn to be horrified at the mention of a divorce attorney. He was furious I’d hired one. (Maybe he thought I’d rely on my LOA powers to manifest my way out of this without legal counsel. Except he didn’t know the powerful match I was to a divorce by attempting to avoid one all these years.)
Anyway, it turned out that my ex’s “attorney” was just a friend on the golf course he talked to during a game one afternoon. He hadn’t actually hired anyone who knew what they were doing.
But I had.
So there I was – a girl so intent on never divorcing again that she sworn off marriage, going through another divorce with another attorney.
Resistance is futile.
This applies to any subject we have a strong charge about …

My mom thought to avoid the heartbreak of losing a dog by refusing to adopt another one. And yet, she’s grown quite close to my pit bull Joe, so I suspect that plan is already foiled. (Can’t blame her, everyone loves Joe. He’s the best dog ever!)
Another friend thought to avoid the heartbreak of losing a beloved pet to illness by getting a purebred next time around. That’s a questionable plan even without considering law of attraction.

Whatever we’re strongly intent on avoiding – whether tax audits, cancer, theft, getting fired, crime, traumatic accidents – whatever we have a strong charge on and are intent on avoiding – word to the wise is to soften that energy. Because it’s a strong signal that plucks exactly what we don’t want straight from the ethers. With our name on it.
I don’t mean to sound scary or ominous about this. I’m just saying, divorce isn’t that bad – and neither is whatever you really don’t want. Even if it was, it doesn’t work to push against it.
Making peace or getting neutral about it – and putting energy into what you do want – is a much better plan for skipping the experience.
The good news is I learned to love divorce attorneys that last go-round. (Seriously, they rock! Mitch Olsen Jr renewed my faith in attorneys. He was all about smoothing things out, being fair, skipping court and saving money. Really great guy!)
Plus I learned the power of my focus even better than I understood it before. I learned how to make peace with things I didn’t think I could be peaceful with.
I was also reminded that my best approach, rather than taking action in an attempt to guarantee what I want, is to find a way to feel better and let Universe work it out.
The next time you think you can outsmart law of attraction through action, please remember me and my second divorce that should not have been. Vibration trumps action every time.
In fact, here’s more manifesting inspiration from this story – the next time you wonder whether Universe can do impossible things, just think of my divorce without being married. It can do all sorts of things you don’t see a way for! lol

  • November 7, 2015

How to Get What You Don't Want

how to manifest what you don't wantI have newly acquired expert status in the skill of manifesting what you don’t want.
As evidenced by my most recent travel experience.
Here is a sure fire formula to get what you don’t want, shared with the intention that you won’t follow in my footsteps:
1. Declare how much you don’t want it.
Universe loves clear signals.  And strong emotions.
Declaring how much “I hate to travel!” is an irresistible beacon to Universe, guaranteeing delivery of more travel along with more reasons to confirm my distaste for it.
2. Keep an eagle eye out for signs of it.
We get what we look for, so when we have a close eye out for what might go wrong Universe has all the material it needs to deliver the “goods.”  (Or “bads,” rather.)  Universe loves when we focus like this!
3. Elaborate on the stories about it.
When something starts to go wrong, revel in it.  Tell everyone about it, over and over again. We’re empowering Universe when we give extra attention like this.
4. Become known for it.
Develop a reputation for exactly what you don’t want.  When others “know” this about you, you enroll them as co-creators of the very thing you don’t want.  So establishing a strong reputation for the stuff you don’t appreciate is an excellent method to get more of it.
5. Declare you will never do it again.
The Borg says resistance is futile, but I know resistance is an incredibly powerful force. The more I resist something, the stronger a magnet I am for it.  So if you really don’t want a particular thing or experience, be sure to proclaim you will never allow or have it again. That’s an extra compelling signal to Universe.
6. Deny it.
Pretend it’s not an issue or that you don’t run this vibration.  That ensures it won’t get cleared up.  As Bashar says, “You  cannot change what you do not own.”

* * * * * * * *

So there I was, with my trusty old “I hate to travel” story firmly in place, when an irresistible reason to travel presented itself this month.  I love the place, I love the people, I love the work – I just hate to travel.
But there I was doing it.  And before even leaving the house I was looking up weather reports that reported potential trouble.  Sure enough, a snowstorm arrived for my trip home.  Although I made it to the airport okay, my plane didn’t.  A one hour delay.
Which I complained about vociferously – to myself, friends and facebook.  “I could have slept in another hour!”  “I could have had breakfast!”  “I could have had a shower!”  (Oh, how I would come to wish I’d taken that shower.)
With that kind of focus it didn’t take long for Universe to turn my one hour delay into a full on cancelled flight.
And while others were getting out on other flights, I wasn’t.  I was stuck there for ten hours. Without food or drink, too, because the terminal wasn’t equipped to take credit cards that day and I had no cash.  (You gotta give Universe credit for creativity there!)
I wasn’t even in the clear when I finally got on a plane that night … there was a tight connection that would leave me stranded if I didn’t make it on time.  Stressful.  Running.  Through.  Airport.  I hate that.
By the time I did get home, I declared that was it!  No more travel for me this year.
Within three days another irresistible (albeit unpleasant) reason to travel presented itself. (Couldn’t skip cousin’s funeral.)
So there I was again – doing exactly what I hate most: traveling.  But this was just a short little flight to Arizona.  How much could go wrong on a one hour trip that has several flights back and forth each day?
Well, if you’re flowing a strong aversion to travel, Universe won’t let you down.
The biggest contrast on this trip also happened on the flight home … we were in the air, wheels down, feet above the runway, about to land in a pretty significant snow storm, when the pilot suddenly averted the landing.  We were airborne again.
(It was rather exciting!)
Instead of circling around for another shot at it, we flew away from my home sweet home.  And took haven in Twin Falls.
Where we sat on the tarmac for hours.  (Because there’s no TSA in Twin Falls, so if you get off the plane, you don’t get to get back on.)  Long story short, the Salt Lake airport closed, they eventually opened one runway, and we made it in that night.  Although no one wanted to pick me up in that hellacious snowstorm.
A brave taxi driver from the Congo was willing to give me a ride home, though.  Once safely arrived, I at least knew better than to declare I would never do that again.
Why am I sharing all this?  Because the first step is admitting that a problem exists.  And then embracing it.
And that is the last I am going to say about how much I hate to travel.  (I hope.)
If you’re a coach who is manifesting exactly what you don’t want, listen to the call Lisa and I did on this topic.  It may help you mend your manifesting ways.
Lord knows I’ll be working on mine.  😉

  • January 30, 2013
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