You might know this routine …
You’ve got your LOA groove on, dialed onto what you want, seeing your future success, feeling how it feels – everything we’re supposed to do to signal Universe that we’re a match for this desire.
All systems are go.
And then some well-meaning loved one asks, “How’s it going?”
They don’t realize that asking us to report on what’s happening is like someone dragging the needle in the middle of Beethoven’s Fifth. Or finding a bandaid in your bite of chocolate cake.
Answering that question can ruin the rhythm and distract our focus in a way that slows down (or even blocks) our desire from manifesting.
Unless things are going great right now. In which case it’s a fabulous question to answer!
It gives us a chance to revel in the good vibes and attract even more good stuff.
But when present reality is NOT great …
When we’re still in the early stages – or even the late stages where not much seems to be happening or going our way – it can be a brutal question!
Because this stage of manifesting can be a vulnerable time, and because taking score too soon doesn’t help. Reporting on the current state of our reality isn’t usually helpful.
So here are five ways to manage the dreaded LOA question, when a well-meaning friend asks for a status report on our dream:
1. Answer a different question.
Instead of answering how things are right now, you can answer a slightly different question that has a dramatically different vibration.
Maybe instead of telling how it’s going you could share:
Just because they asked for a rundown of present reality doesn’t mean you have to give it. Answer a more helpful question instead.
2. Deflect the question.
Sometimes the easiest thing to do is not answer at all.
Instead, just nod and smile and ask how things are for them.
Changing the subject may be your best option, especially with folks who like to talk about themselves.
You can always explain why you’re not talking about the current status of your project if it feels appropriate.
3. Train them to new questions.
Speaking of explaining, you might save yourself a lot of trouble by just training your people how to better engage you on this sensitive subject of your dream creation.
You can offer suggestions as to how they can more supportively express interest in your project.
You can even ask them to refrain from engaging on this subject unless YOU initiate.
It may help to explain that talking about “what is” isn’t very helpful, and that you’re keeping things to yourself in the meantime.
Let them know they’ll be the first to hear your good news when you’re ready to share.
4. Script your answer.
This is my personal favorite, if the situation warrants it.
Instead of telling how it is, tell it how you’d rather it be!
It won’t be appropriate for every occasion or conversation, but there are many times when this is a good chance for us to practice what our success sounds like when shared with another person.
5. Answer Half Full
Look, we’re conscious creators – we’re skilled at seeing what’s going right.
This is a great chance to answer the question with the parts that are working out. Even if they’re slim parts …
Anything that lets you focus on the positive while still answering the question will serve you and your manifesting success.
Indeed, answering the “how’s it going” question can be a good exercise for YOU to train your attention toward what’s working.
And worst case scenario … you don’t have to answer at all. “Nunna yur bizness” is a valid answer, too.
If you’ve got other tips for answering the dreaded LOA question, we’d love to hear them.
(Listen to this episode at the podcast.)
Once upon a time I had my hair done at the salon.
As in, February.
That’s forever ago in hair time.
And it showed.
For a variety of reasons (my stylist had a baby and quit, I got a new foster dog that isn’t housebroken, I don’t actually enjoy sitting in a salon chair for hours on end, etc.), I wasn’t making time for my hair to get professional attention.
And I was not loving how I looked.
The grey regrowth wasn’t my favorite, my ends looked ragged and untended, the color had faded.
Plus I got a sunburn on the lake and my nose was peeling. Had a breakout when I skipped my skin care routine a couple nights in a row.
Long story short, I looked like a hot mess.
At least, I felt like one.
For a while. An uncomfortably long while.
I practiced that vibration of not loving how I looked for several weeks – before I did something about it.
My LOA savvy friends might inagine that “doing something about it” means regaining my alignment by finding better feeling thoughts, or by activating the vibration of feeling beautiful with any one of many manifesting tools at my disposal, but alas.
You’d be wrong.
How I wish you weren’t.
No, what I did was take action.
(Yes, I took action with that messed up vibe. In hindsight I am SMH too.)
So I booked an appointment with a new stylist at a new shop.
And I took that action out of resistance to how I looked.
Not out of self-care; not even out of looking forward to feeling good about I looked again – but rather to stop feeling this bad about my situation.
Savvy creators already know how this story ends, right?
Whenever we take action out of resistance to what we don’t want, especially after we’ve been practicing an unhelpful vibe a while, it likely doesn’t turn out well.
Even despite the fact that I briefly practiced feeling delighted with my hair before I walked through the door, what happened to me in that salon chair was so bad that I took photos to document it.
And posted some of them in a one star review I published online.
I was HOT (and not the good kind).
I couldn’t believe they let me walk out of the shop looking like that. (Long dye marks along my jawline and throat, not to mention a black tipped ear and a ridiculously smudged hairline.)
And that was just the beginning of what was wrong.
Even more infuriating was that I paid money for this to happen.
I texted my mom. I vented to a love interest. I posted at GVU.
I felt that ‘mad’ out all the way. (It even made me laugh how upset I was – over hair!)
After I was done being mad I could see things differently.
I could see that I did get a decent trim. She did solve my grey roots and overly blond problem, which I had asked her to do.
But more importantly, how did I think my stylist could make me look good while I was busy feeling bad about how I looked?
My stylist can’t do that for me.
The same way money can’t make us happy, lovers can’t fulfill us, and professional achievements can’t make us feel successful.
Our vibe rules.
We can only get more of whatever we’re focused on.
So change starts here. Not in the salon chair.
Change happens by finding a way to feel better – before external circumstances warrant it.
Or even by finding a way to perceive external circumstances in a way that helps us feel better now.
I did wonder why my intention to walk out there feeling like a million bucks didn’t work.
But here’s the thing …
I had a briefly good vibration about feeling great, and I had a brief experience of feeling great while I was still sitting in my stylist’s chair looking in her mirror. At first brief look, I liked it.
It wasn’t until I got home and saw the stray dye marks as well as the ridiculous … wait, I’m not going to describe the rest of the problems in detail, because I at least know that much. I already vented it out to people who love me enough to let me do so.
My point being: my brief “feel good” vibe couldn’t override the weeks I’d been flowing “ugh, you look like hell” vibe.
So within an hour of posting my negative review I deleted it, realizing this wasn’t my stylist’s fault.
This was a vibrational misfire on my part, and one that I alone am responsible for. Not my stylist, not the person who recommended this shop, not the salon owner who reassured me she was booking me with a good stylist.
Not in a judging, blaming way. But in an empowered effective way.
THIS is the story that is more appropriately reported online. Not the one about the unprofessional salon or the sloppy stylist, but the one about how we ourselves are responsible for what happens – based on what we’re vibrating.
So here’s to little things like hair mishaps as reminders to tend the focus above all else.
I’ll take it from here. 🙂
From a book on money magic (Jason Miller’s Financial Sorcery), in a chapter titled “Perspective,” the author writes:
“The truth is that on a global scale, almost everyone reading this book is rich.”
The author went on to argue that if you make more than $25k a year, you are in the global top 10% of money earners. And that even the poorest people in America or Western Europe have access to amenities that the poor in most of the world do not.
(We discussed this on GVU’s June book club; members can find the recording here.)
I agree completely that we are rich, but perhaps for different reasons than what our income levels indicate.
In fact, if you don’t already see how you, too, are rich (and especially if you aspire to more), it would behoove you to start seeing the wealth you already lay claim to in life.
Law of attraction dictates that if we don’t feel rich first, no amount of money poured on us is likely to change that. At least not long term.
That’s why it’s worth acknowledging the abundance already present in our lives.
No matter what your circumstances are, I believe we each have evidence of immense wealth.
We don’t need imagination or vision boards to “see” it; we don’t need a certain bank account balance to feel it.
It’s already here.
And if you can’t see it easily, I suspect it’s not because it doesn’t exist for you. But rather because you’ve trained yourself not to see it.
We get whatever we look for, so if you’ve got a habit of seeing lack instead of abundance, that’s a reflection of your focus, not your circumstances.
Because (as Abraham said recently) every moment contains all things. We each choose what we activate and thus carry forward to the next moment based on how we focus.
So if you’re not already good at seeing your treasures, financial and otherwise, I suggest you practice.
Begin a personal treasure hunt by looking for evidence of your financial wealth, and you will discover it.
Ask yourself, “What about my life would give someone the impression that I’m loaded?” and you’ll begin to see your life in a newly abundant light.
You will also find that the better you get at seeing how you’re rich, the more you become so.
Funny how that LOA stuff works. 🙂
Whenever I ask a client how they’ll feel when their big desire manifests, often they say “excited!”
They’ll be so excited when their true love says, “I do”!
Or when their big fortune rolls in, or their business is thriving, or they’re rocking that bikini body … they’ll be so excited!
It seems like that, doesn’t it?
Except you won’t be.
You won’t be nearly as excited as you think.
Here’s why, and why it’s worth knowing how you’ll really feel when your big dream unfolds …
In fact, I already know how you’ll feel when your favorite desire manifests.
Am I psychic? No.
I just know how the system works.
The way you’ll feel then is the way you’ve been feeling all along.
Because law of attraction.
We can only get what we’ve been vibrating.
If you’ve been dialed on mild contentment lately, that’s likely how you’ll feel when you get the big job.
If you’ve been feeling frustration on a dominant basis, guess what? You’ll find a way to even be frustrated even after you’re partnered with your dream lover.
(I swear to you this is truth!)
I know it doesn’t seem like you could be anything other than bouncing-off-the-walls excited when that supercool thing happens!
But those things out there don’t change how we feel in here.
Rather, our feelings in here change things out there.
Our vibration creates our reality.
I’ve got a personal example for you …
Those last years I worked in corporate world were pretty stressful for me. I won’t elaborate, but anyone who’s been in corporate probably doesn’t need me to.
So, “stressed” was what I’d been vibrating in a dominant way for quite a while.
I was stressed on that job. I was stressed thinking about quitting that job. I was stressed when I was unemployed and building my own gig. I was stressed even after that gig was up and running.
(So many people wanting to work with me, not making time for self care, secretly wondering whether this could continue, figuring out how to even run a business, etc.)
Stressed. Through and through.
It’s what I did, it’s what I knew, it’s who I was.
So even when I got what I wanted (just out of sheer commitment to instructing Universe that “clients” filled my world), stressed is how it felt because stressed is what I’d been practicing for so long.
Even my successful thriving business couldn’t change my dominant vibration.
Only I can change my dominant vibration.
Conscious creators know this.
Muggles try to change life circumstances so they can then be happy. But conscious creators know it starts here within us. Everything “out there” just reflects what’s “in here.”
And we know that once we find our way to feeling what we prefer to feel, the external morphs to match those feelings.
I got a little sidetracked, but stick with me …
This is why the key to successful manifesting, as Abraham says, is simply to “get happy now.”
Because the only reason we want anything is because of how we think we’ll feel when we have it. That feeling is usually some sort of happy, or relieved, or satisfied, or something along those lines.
That’s why it’s helpful to know how we’ll feel when we have what we want … so we can practice that vibration now.
That’s how we create alignment to what we want, and that’s what requires our desires to manifest.
Which is why I ask every client, “How will you feel when your big desire has come true?”
And they say, “Excited.”
Except you won’t be.
Because by the time it manifests, you’ll have been expecting it.
That’s the only way it can manifest – through your expectation of it.
And when we expect something, excited isn’t usually how we respond.
Happy, yes. Delighted, sure! Satisfied, in spades.
It might be content, proud, relieved, successful – all sorts of good things we’ll likely feel.
But excited is for things we weren’t expecting. It’s for surprises and “didn’t-see-that-coming” sort of things.
If you didn’t see it coming, it can’t manifest.
When you do see it coming, you aren’t surprised by it. You were expecting it.
So the more aligned vibration to practice is perhaps something more like believing, expecting, happy, satisfied, etc.
I’m just saying that when you think now about your big dream come true, and you think you’ll be excited – it might reveal how far away from it you are vibrationally.
Because you won’t be excited by the time it gets here in its full glory.
You’ll see it coming long before it arrives. You’ll have reasons to believe in it. It will seem sort of obvious and ‘of course’-like.
And we don’t get excited about the “of course” things in life.
We acclimate to our desires.
That’s how they manifest. We align to them.
When Meryl Streep wins another Oscar, do you think she’s excited?
Maybe happy, and appreciative, and rewarded.
But I bet not that excited.
Because that’s what Meryl Streep does. She wins Oscars.
Can you see how imagining that you’ll be so excited when your big thing happens might even keep you from it?
I don’t mean to be a killjoy, and I have nothing against excitement!
(I felt it the other day when I drove a boat on the lake for the first time! I felt it when I said yes to a new rescue dog last month!)
But I am saying that getting up to speed with what we want likely means practicing a different vibration than “excited.”
You’re going to want to dig deeper into what it will feel like when you’ve gotten used to the idea of having won that lottery, or married that prince, or dropped those pounds, or accepted that dream job.
How will it feel when you’ve been living it for a month, or a year, or a decade?
It won’t be excited. It’ll be normal. It could still be delightful and amazing and wonderful!
But excitement is usually overrated for our visualizations.
Because when you really truly believe your big dream is happening, you feel confident and worthy and content. Or something like that. I don’t know for sure what your exact feeling will be.
But I’d like YOU to know. I’d like you to know how you’ll feel when you’re living your dream come true.
And practice that feeling now.
Because nothing else will make you a better match for receiving it.
What to do when it seems nothing’s going right?
When you feel on the verge of tears if something doesn’t go your way soon?
Well, that might be time for a good cry.
Just let’r rip.
Feeling the feelings is often the best way through.
But if it feels like you can turn things around before the funk gains momentum, and you’re looking for immediate vibrational relief, here’s a curated list for turning the mood around.
This is not a replacement for the work of shifting beliefs or learning to tame gremlin thought patterns.
But it can be a way to break the spell of a temporary dark cloud.
And that’s all it takes to give yourself a head start to feeling better …
Best of Craigslist
For good distraction that requires minimal but still entertaining sifting, peruse the best of Craigslist as chosen by Craigslist readers.
If language offends you, this might not be your ticket. For the rest of us, you could be in tears laughing by the end of this.
Get more Best of Autocorrects here.
The Good Vibe U facebook page has a nice collection of videos designed to make you smile. If you’re in a funk, scroll right on by the spiritual stuff to get straight to baby goats and cats who rule dogs.
Yes, some of it is very wrong, but that’s what makes it so funny.
Sometimes the best fix for downward spiraling thoughts is to surrender to the story. Someone else’s story, that is. Here are some of the most properly distracting shows on Netflix lately, as compiled by informal survey of fellow creators:
I haven’t seen most of those, but one of my new favs for pressing pause on mental overdrive is to settle in for a couple episodes of Escape to the Country. So calming and curiously reassuring.
Mother Earth is magic in transmuting negativity.
Sit in the sun, look at the clouds, listen to the ocean, commune with a tree (or just an indoor plant), walk barefoot on the grass, and don’t be surprised when that takes at least a little edge off the funk.
See what I mean: try it now with this audio/visual visit to a stream via YouTube.
Comedians to the Rescue
If you’ve got a favorite comedian, you already know the power of this vibe-shifter.
And if you don’t, it’s time to get one. They can get you laughing like even baby goats can’t, when you give them a chance.
The key is to finding your personal favorites. If you’re starting from scratch, sample from this list:
Dave Chappelle is back (R for language)
Kevin Hart works for many audiences (R for language)
Mike Birbiglia is adorable
Aziz Ansari is good for a laugh
Or sample the cast of Last Comic Standing.
Something Totally Different
Perhaps an enjoyable distraction isn’t calling you, but rather something more potent …
You might try a meditation designed to connect you to the light. Here’s one recommended by one of my favorite energy workers that’s designed to raise your vibration by connecting to the pillar of pure white light.
What do you say we round out this list with your recommendations for emergency vibe-lifters?
Thanks in advance for your shares!