Tending the Disconnection

mending the disconnection from Source“Who does that?  I mean, who DOES that?”

That was what our breakfast buffet cook asked out loud at the hotel restaurant in Aurora, Colorado yesterday morning as CNN reported on the movie theater shooting that had taken place just hours before in his small town.

No one could answer our cook’s question, obviously.  But in my head (maybe even out loud) I responded, “That’s a special kind of crazy.”

That’s a guy so disconnected you can’t even begin to understand it.

Today I read a few “good news” stories from that event, and in the process found myself directing strong judgment toward one of the survivors.

Specifically, for the young mother who accepted a marriage proposal from the boyfriend that abandoned her and their two children in the movie theater after gunshots erupted.

Not judging the shooter; or people who sold him guns, or lawmakers who made it legal to obtain such weapons.  Not judging the boyfriend who left his family there to die, but judging the woman who accepted his marriage proposal later that same night.

Seriously?!  THAT’S who you’re going to raise your kids with?  The guy who leaves his kids when gunfire erupts?  That’s another kind of nuts, in my book.

So I’ve got judgment.

Not judgment that this shouldn’t have happened, not judgment that the news shouldn’t be milking this for days, not judging people who read it, not judging people who condemn what’s-his-name the shooter … but judging the woman who is marrying the guy who ran out on her when it counted.

Yet I realize, while I’m inclined to call her crazy, really – it’s crazy for ME to embrace any thought that doesn’t feel good, knowing what I know about the power of thoughts.

So I listened to Abraham talk about how to stay in the vortex in the face of tragedy, and found this one on how murderers see their actions after they “croak”:

Once the murderer dies … “he takes Source perspective and feels no regret.”

No regret.  ?!

Well that hardly seems right.  Shouldn’t he have at least a moment of suffering, or a realization of his “wrongness”?

Abe continued:
“And that bothers humans immensely, because they’re so hoping for some sort of punishment.”

Yep, pretty bothered with that.

“And in that judgment and punishment you are holding yourself apart from Source.”

Bullseye again.

So let me get this straight:

It’s completely possible that what’s-his-name (I refuse to look it up) shooter is feeling like a million bucks because he successfully deployed his crazy plan; and that he may not ever see his actions as wrong.  Ever?!

And as I judge the whole thing, that makes me the disconnected one.

Right, because Source doesn’t judge.

So when I condemn, I’m not aligned with my higher self, Abraham says.

Well, if revenge is a vibrational improvement over fear and powerlessness, where does that leave me?

My answer: feel it out, and continue the upward cycle.  “Decide you want to feel good,” Abraham says.  Make that your priority.
So I let myself be indignant over idiot women who pick the wrong guys, which I seem to have some sort of charge on.   (“You spot it, you got it,” anyone?)

And I remember that as we condemn what’s-his-name for being so disconnected, we ourselves also disconnect from Source.

Which inspires the invitation to consider: What’s the thought that feels better? Go with that one, don’t judge it, don’t feel the need for others to agree with you on it, and just rinse and repeat.  Continually reaching for thoughts that feel better.

We’re all going to land in the same place eventually.  (In blissful eternally loving source energy with what’s-his-name, apparently, after he’s put to death.)

“God’s love is really God’s love, and that which man has assigned as God’s vengeance is only man’s separation from that which is God’s love.” (Abraham)

I guess if I were able to totally live that concept it would make me God instead of human, so perhaps I can begin by not judging myself for not fully being there yet.

  • July 21, 2012
  • RE: closing line in your blogpost, Jeannette
    You ARE God, and there’s just not a darn thing you can do about it. But you already knew that…
    Loving you soooooooooooooooo much!

  • @Berta – Thanks! I actually did some tapping on it today – while I was in the tanning bed, of all places. I had an aha that brought me to tears (ie letting go of the hate towards her made me fear I was letting go of my dad – it was events surrounding his death and how his wife treated me that was the hate catalyst. Ironically, today would have been my dad’s birthday).
    I tapped and tapped (well did it in my head as I was sorta immobile in the tanning bed) even saying things like “I’d be ok with hating her if it actually hurt HER but it only hurts me and I won’t want to keep hurting me” and stuff like that). It helped a lot. I didn’t actually tap on letting it go completely – at first I just tapped on just being ok with the idea of letting it go at some point. But as I tapped I got ok with tapping on actually letting it go. And that it may be a process – but I’m ok with that.
    I totally am in line with what you’re saying about letting go of the hate because it only makes us suffer, not the person we’re hating. That was a huge breakthrough – even though I knew it logically before – I felt it more emotionally/heart level when I was tapping on it.
    The 7 week course is done by the Tapping Solution people (they did the movie that was originally called Try It On Everything). The focus is on finances and each week has a theme so to speak. First week was overwhelm. This week (we’re in week 2) is about goal setting – and tapping about resistance to our goals and even about what others would say and our reactions to what others would say. Each week is a class on a particular theme/topic, there’s a meditation to do daily also on that week’s topic, a live Q & A call each week and some weeks have a bonus call. Then there’s the Facebook group for ongoing support. It has really been cool for me – I like having the support plus I like being able to give my own insights to help others. I like the structure and breaking it down into chunks rather than just “i have limiting beliefs about money – let me tap it out”.
    I am really getting a lot out of tapping regularly – I’m doing it on the finance stuff, plus physical stuff and as of today the hating thing – which actually is linked to money for me (dad’s wife refused to let me see his will/kept me from receiving whatever my dad left for me).
    Ok, enough of my book length rambling!

  • Berta says:

    @Stacy–good for you that you see/understand that “holding onto the hate/judgment only entraps us, not the person who we are judging or hating.” And good for you that you are working on letting go of your hate. It is something that I have had to learn to let go. Initially, after I learned the self-destructiveness of hanging onto hate, it was amazing how often I use to catch myself loathing a person, then the moment I realized it I reminded myself that I was only hurting myself. The good news is that I rarely catch myself there anymore, and I catch myself sooner before I spend too time in those thoughts.
    The person(s) I was hating never sat around and felt my moment to moment hate, they probably weren’t even thinking about me or getting any satisfaction of my discomfort–if it was their intent to make me miserable. I suffered-not them; and forgiving and eventually compassion is such a better feeling thought.
    I’d love to hear more about your 7 week EFT course. I do EFT sporadically, and think it’d be great for the support and accountability of a course.

  • I am not one to watch the news – because it doesn’t feel good to me. However, I did end up watching Dateline about the shooting, the night after it happened. Ironically, I saw the couple you are talking about being interviewed and it was NOT mentioned at all that he left them all in the theater. So I was viewing them from a completely different perspective. Soon after I learned more of that story and I actually wished I hadn’t – I would rather have had the story that was in my head.
    During that episode of Dateline, a boy was interviewed who survived the Columbine shooting. He was asked to give his perspective of how to heal/move past the tragedy as a way to help the victims and families.
    Something he said really rang out to me on a personal level – but about someone I have been hating for several years. I have considered this person my “emotional terrorist”. What this guy said was something about forgiveness – not that you say what they did was ok but that you are releasing a prisoner – and that prisoner turns out to be YOU.
    So holding onto the hate/judgment only entraps us, not the person who we are judging or hating. Admittedly I haven’t let go of all my hate for this person. But I’m starting to come to a place where I may be WILLING to. I’m in a 7 week EFT course right now (about finances) and am using tapping more and more and letting go of my hate is on my list of things to tap about. Tapping on that issue will be coming soon, I believe.
    Sooo….all that rambling to say, in some weird, indirect way this tragedy helped me to gain some clarity and shifted me into being more willing to let some hate go.

  • Christina says:

    I have judgement too, so I’m definitely not there yet.
    It’s times like this that I find it difficult to accept that we all have 100 percent responsiblity for our lives. When death or disease or an attack like this happens, it’s automatic to say “I didn’t ask for this. Why would I ask for this?”
    I do pray for all involved, and I do believe that ultimately something good will come of this. Right now, though, it’s difficult to release the judgement.

  • Teena Mason says:

    Thank you for your post, Berta…very well spoken & helpful!

  • Berta says:

    Although it isn’t my first thought when I hear of violence like this, it doesn’t take long before I wonder about the perpetrator’s life that led up to the event-and find compassion. I’ve also found that most people don’t want to go to the place of how all the what’s-his-names get to the desperate place to do the things they do. Most people are stuck in judgement, and it is unpopular to utter a compassionate word.
    What I appreciate most about this post in particular, and this blog-site in general is the thoughtfulness of the people who post here. We share very similar beliefs, but our different angles at how we look at difficult issues is what help one another to understand such events; and stay grounded in our efforts and beliefs of “BEING” the love and light that we innately are.

  • Lois says:

    This post has helped me discover something that I was unaware of. I have done things that I am not proud of, but I realize that in doing them, I was just trying to find relief. That concept helps me to be much more forgiving and loving toward myself. And that too gives me relief. Missy is right, people find relief in so many different ways. This concept helps me to be less judgmental of others and allow them to find relief their way.

  • MissyB says:

    Oh how differently people find their relief. From the gunman who shoots to the the lady who accepted the proposal; were they just looking for a better place than their current space. That thought has opened my mind and I realise that choosing a better thought is very different for all of us. Very different.

  • Janette says:

    Thank you Jeannette. After I first read the story, I knew right away that any more discussion about it (at least, in the mainstream media) was NOT my business, and that it would be good to stay away from. And I’ve spent the last 24 hours experiencing a series of mini-revelations about my own capacity for judgment.
    Turns out that flowing compassion for all those involved and their families (including the shooter) was easy because I never heard about the individual stories. But man, I struggled with some of the politics.
    Like, I felt gratitude to live in a place where guns are controlled, especially the weapons whose only purpose is killing human beings (can you HEAR the judgement in that???). And I felt big judgment when during a channel flip we heard the name being given by the media to the incident (judging the media for sensationalizing it AND judging those who sit glued to their tv to watch the latest horrific detail).
    I won’t even go into more details, but you get the picture!! It was messy…
    Thankfully today I get to read loving and vulnerable and authentic and SMART posts by you and others, and my world seems to right itself. I meditate (thank heavens for Deepak Chopra’s current 21-day challenge!) and I can find compassion even for those whom I judged yesterday.
    And I feel deep appreciation for these breadcrumbs which show so clearly that I’m making progress.

  • Jackie says:

    The ability to judge is given to us when we come into this time/space reality. It’s something we learn to do from very soon after we get here. We learn to judge whether something is good or not so good for us. We differentiate between wanted and not wanted. If we didn’t have this ability, we would live in total chaos. We all try not to judge others harshly but society cannot survive without judging actions such as those of what’s-his-name to be unacceptable.
    As far as the girl who accepted the proposal goes, she made a decision in a time of extreme stress and relief that none of those she cares about were critically injured and they’re all still on the planet. She may rethink this when she has time to reflect.

  • Noelle says:

    Hmmm….I KNOW these people probably didn’t “want”(or maybe some did;) to be killed or injured(really haven’t seen much about it)BUT….there is NO assertion in this universe, right?!!! Isn’t that what Abe, Bashar and all the rest keep telling us, and isn’t that what all of us reading this have found out through experience?!
    Are we forgetting the part the “victims” played in this?! Somehow, for some reason they attracted it(course not really saying it’s their “fault” per say, just is what it is) and it’s probably not our biz to figure out why. And, heck. like I said, maybe some of them were SO in the vortex and ready to “move on” that they did want death?! Who knows, it’s also not our biz probably!
    And isn’t there no such thing as “death” anyway, and what we call death, Abraham calls joy beyond belief….?????! I don’t have any super close family or friends that have been “killed” except one nephew, who died of asphyxiation in police custody, and I could totally SEE how he attracted that, so I didn’t go thru too much angst beyond the normal grief, but who knows what these people’s thoughts, beliefs and desires were! Somehow, someway they attracted this very “tragic” and public way to be killed and/or injured, but they DID ATTRACT it, lest we forget, it’s NEVER a one way street…
    And maybe it was time for them to become “Angels” cuz that’s what “dead people” do, don’t they, they become Angels to all of us here left living on physical earth?! So, this is how I make peace with things of this nature, I think about how it’s always attraction, I don’t know their thoughts, beliefs and desires, I don’t know the big picture, and they always become purely loving and benevolent Angels and Guides to us left here!
    Maybe these perspectives will help some of you too:)

  • Gina says:

    You are in the Denver area this weekend????

  • Zoe Routh says:

    Hey Jeannette
    I think of letting go of judgment towards mass murderers as ‘spiritual weightlifting’ – and this one seems especially challenging. What works for me is to feel COMPASSION for what’s his name for being so terribly out of the vortex that he could think harming others was a good thing. That must feel so darn terrible, awful, lonely and horrendous. So when I get compassion for Hitler and what’s his name and other out an out ‘baddies’, I know I am making progress.
    Then couple that with WISDOM in knowing that is not something I wish for myself – to be so disconnected as to harm others – and to avoid said state by being in alignment with source, then I know I am also adding GOOD stuff to the co-creation.
    It’s easier to do when it’s not your own family of course. I like to think of the family that said ‘no’ to hunting down the shark for eating their son recently – they had compassion and acceptance for the shark – doing what it does in its own environment, naturally. Maybe we can think of mass murderers in that way too – as ‘vibrational sharks?’ I can play with this one I think.

  • Teena, a friend had posted on her fb page about how she didn’t understand why parents were taking young kids to a late night adult movie in the first place. Someone on her page criticized us for “obtuse” thoughts and someone else asked “who are we to judge?”
    I had fun answering that I was something of a judging afficianado. lol
    Owning it!! Best way to move on from it, right? 🙂
    PS – tell Randy hi!! 🙂

  • Teena says:

    I have to totally agree with you on the young mother who accepted a marriage proposal from the boyfriend who abandoned her and their two children in the movie theater after shots were fired. When we heard that, my hubby sat up in his recliner & said “What??? He LEFT them????”…then, repeated it again…(in disbelief). Even though I was pleased to know I have him in my court, I wondered if the girl struggled with her self worth…not only for herself, but for her children. So, I am especially thankful for what you wrote…In my judgement, I am the one who is disconnected. I also appreciate what Julie posted…’what’s his name’ was desperate for relief…
    and…just my thoughts too!

  • Well, we know that judgment/contrast IS good fuel for things getting better, so that’s an easy one for me to get on board with, Akira. (That maybe judgment leads to change.)
    And I’ll follow your lead in knowing that it’s all working out perfectly even if we can’t see how.
    Here’s to momentum toward good things! Thanks for posting, Akira.
    (PS – I loved your comment on the psychic post the other day!)

  • Akira Dawn says:

    One thing that helps me feel better with it is the knowledge that there is a big picture into which this fits perfectly, somehow.
    Maybe it’s that people are all looking up and saying, “It stops here. THAT is crazy.”
    Maybe the world needs a little judgment in order for things to change. Maybe it was time for a real shake up, to show just how messed up people have become – and that something really needs to actually be done.
    Change comes with some discomfort when we’re too comfortable being safe in our comfort zones. Sometimes it takes a little dose of crazy to get us to pay attention.
    This definitely got a LOT of people’s attention. Everyone’s talking about it, and everyone’s agreeing – even if only on this. That’s a lot of momentum.
    Just my thoughts 🙂

  • Thanks for saying so, Terri. Even though my practice is far from perfect, this blog is devoted to sharing how it all works for me (and others) in the “real world” where we’re still finding our way through the processes.
    Your comments help reinforce my instinct that being this vulnerable in sharing is the right thing. Much appreciated, my friend!

  • TerriC says:

    Jeannette, let me just thank you – again! – for your honesty, openness and clarity as you share. I always leave your posts with a revived sense of possibilities and optimism because you keep identifying how, no matter what the scenario. The shooting – I don’t know his name either and have read very little; I know the results, the rest (for me)unhelpful. Love the ironic note of your trip though. And my take is that you were making an emphatic statement to the Universe of what you desire – and retrieving your energy from a masquerader. On-board with always new opportunities for accepting and allowing – 🙂

  • Ooh, yes, Julie, I think it’s Bashar that says we’ve been it all and done it all at some point in our history.
    That’s worth remembering when we find ourselves criticizing how another is doing their life.
    Thank you for that one. It really hit home tonight.

  • Here is where I can find the soft spot. I don’t remember specifically being a mass murderer in a past life, but I do remember at least one atrocious episode of abuse of power, not to mention more subtle ones in this life that I would rather pretend did not happen. Everything we do, as the Communion of Light would say, is done in search of relief. I don’t know anything about what’s-his-name except that he must have been terribly in need of relief. That is what he will see with love on the other side when he croaks.

  • Finding it ironic that I was in Aurora, Colorado on my way to see a judge about judging Power Places Tours for their bad business practices, which gave me a whole new opportunity to practice (non) judging.
    Maybe I should consider doing some grid work on the opposite of judging – acceptance, allowing, etc.

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