July 14, 2007

The Beauty of Anger

Does anyone have any idea how annoying it is to hear “You can choose to feel differently” or “Is this really what you want to vibrate?” when all you want to do is complain?
Well, I suspect my clients do. (They’ve heard it from me.)
The fact is I’m still getting some juice from anger right now in this red hot moment, and I’m hanging out here as long as it feels good and certainly long enough to fuel incentive for positive change. If it didn’t bother me this much, I might not notice it and I might not change it. (“It” being my relationship.) So this anger is a good thing. It’s got my attention!
I refuse to feel bad about this anger, and I’m not letting anyone talk me out of it, because this feels better right here, right now.
In fact, it makes me wonder – what feels good about anger? For some reason, this anger does feel better. As I wonder why, and I look up my trusty emotional scale on page 297 of “Ask & It Is Given,” I see that anger might be feeling fabulous right now because I’ve moved out of unconscious guilt and unworthiness. Mm hmm. No wonder I like it here!
Here’s Abraham’s emotional scale for reference:

  1. Joy/Appreciation/Love
  2. Passion
  3. Enthusiasm/Happiness
  4. Positive Expectation
  5. Optimism
  6. Hopefulness
  7. Contentment
  8. Boredom
  9. Pessimism
  10. Frustration/Irritation/Impatience
  11. Overwhelment
  12. Disappointment
  13. Doubt
  14. Worry
  15. Blame
  16. Discouragement
  17. Anger
  18. Revenge
  19. Hatred/Rage
  20. Jealousy
  21. Insecurity/Guilt/Unworthiness
  22. Fear/Grief/Depression/Despair

Man, me?! Guilt or unworthiness?! I’ve done so much self-love work, how is that even possible?!
But, it’s not a huge stretch if you saw the circumstances that brought me to anger.
I see now I’ve denied what’s important to me. Plain and simple. (I didn’t see it until Anger got my attention and inspired me to look.) I’ve tried to live what’s important to others (likely inspired by remnants of unworthiness), and I of all people know the trap door it is to follow someone else’s “feel good.”
Specifically, I committed to a weekend full of activities with my boyfriend that have kept me from giving my dogs, my health, my house, and certainly my work the attention I’d like them/me/it to have. Because everyone knows that in order to be in a good relationship, you must have some give and take. (What the hell ever.) That when it’s your anniversary weekend, you don’t say “I’m working” or “Maybe next time.” You say “Yes. I’d love to.”
The problem is my “yes” – as much sense as it makes in the relationship world – was a betrayal of what I really wanted. Look, I need some exercise. You got yours while you walked the golf course today, but I sat at the computer meeting an article deadline, and no, I’m still not done working. But that’s not what I said. I said, “Sure, let’s go.” To a party that I could invest two hours in, not five. And on our anniversary night, frankly, I’d rather have done something more our style – maybe just the two of us.
I also see that I visited with revenge earlier tonight when I left him sitting at his friends’ party for over an hour while I went for a walk in the neighborhood chatting with a girlfriend on his cell phone, which felt much better than hanging out with a bunch of drinkers. (No offense, guys. Just not my gig.) He thinks it’s okay to keep me from getting back home for dogs’ potty breaks and finishing the article? Oh yeah?? We’ll see how cool it is.
I mean, those words didn’t actually cross my mind, but that feeling sure did. I see how I went tripping right on through revenge earlier tonight on my way to this beautiful anger.
Anyway, I’m pissed off for right now and I’m staying here until I decide to go somewhere else. And no coach, or ex-boyfriend, or girlfriend, and certainly no boyfriend is going to talk me out of it. Anger is what feels good, I hear my “feel good” loud and clear, and I am more committed than ever to following it.
Now, I fully expect I will wake up with a completely different attitude (I might even set an intention, or not). But for right now, this is where I am, and it is okay. (Lorenzo, I still love you for that.)
This anger is serving me.
And it’s given me clarity that I’m upset because I haven’t honored what’s important to me. I haven’t fully followed my feel good. No wonder I’m so mad!! It isn’t anyone’s fault but my own and I get that.
Thank God, I get it.
I know this post is long enough already, but it seems helpful to note that I recognize a theme here from the email/computer challenge I recently experienced: disrespect. As this vibration of disrespect seems to come up here and there, it makes me realize that if the world is showing me disrespect, then it’s worth looking within to see how I’m disrespecting myself.
And it’s right there plain as day for me when I look for it: I haven’t respected what’s important to me. Hello!
Thank you beautiful world for showing me where I’ve got room to clean up my vibration.
PS – in the time it took me to edit this post, I’ve already moved out of anger and am feeling something more like peace and relief. So even though it’s already old news, I’m still posting this, because if this isn’t real world manifesting, I don’t know what is. And I am committed to showing how law of attraction works in the real world! This is my real world, and I know it’s not 100% beautiful and peaceful and lovely, but … it still works for me. : )
PPS – sweetie, if you’re reading this – happy anniversary!
PPPS – sorry for the swear words, everyone. (Keepin’ it real.)

  • Paulette says:


    Centuries ago Aristotle said it best, “Anyone can become angry – that is easy. But to be angry at the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not easy.”

    Mike Jay, my business coaching instructor, believes that coaching is a subset of leadership. I agree. He also developed a concept that he calls Right Action,™ which he defines as “.a process where the right people are doing the right things in the right way at the right time for the right reasons to create the right results.”

    Thank you for using the “gift of anger” to provide us “real world” RightAction leadership by example.

  • Good Vibe Coach says:

    Thanks, Star! Yeah, that “pleasing others” routine doesn’t work out, does it? Not for us, not for them. I also spent many years in that one before I realized the dead end it is.

    I have to thank Abraham for helping me get on board for accepting that these various emotions can serve us, if we’d just let ourselves feel them and move on. Some deliberate creators have a habit of shunning the negative ones because of fear of what it’ll attract.

    But that routine doesn’t work out either, as you clearly know. Thanks again for posting your experience!

    PS – the pups were ANGELS – everything in perfect order when I finally made it home!

  • Star says:

    See? This is what keeps me coming back again and again. You are willing to be real here in this space.

    I agree that anger serves a purpose and, as someone who spent many years trying to be all things to all people except myself, I know that there was no progress to be made until I allowed myself to feel the anger and then move on.

    Hope your pups made it through the evening in good shape 🙂

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