The Love Thought Experiment
We regularly hear how transformative it is to focus on the best in another.
To notice what we appreciate most, to get deliberate in seeing nice qualities – that’s reportedly extremely effective in changing the nature of an otherwise contentious relationship.
I believe it’s true, but wanted to get some recent research on the process.
What do you say we experiment with it together?
We think of someone we normally have mixed feelings about (for many of us that may be someone under our own roof) and then just take a few minutes to dwell on all the best parts of them. Even if we have to make some of those parts up.
Then I say we check back here in a week and report what, if anything, has changed in that relationship.
I’m actually going to post my good thoughts & nice observations in the comments, so they’re easier to remember if I find myself doing the “mixed” version again.
Feel free to share yours, too, if you like. Anonymously if that works better.
And we’ll check back after several days and see if anything’s different.
Thanks in advance for playing!
This is actually the process I ask clients who’ve hired me for relationship work to practice as we end our coaching, to ensure they keep things on the good track they created!
Again, our experiment is simple:
- think of someone you’d like to have a more harmonious relationship with (kids, spouses, bosses, parents, roommates, etc.)
- entertain positive thoughts about this person, reflecting on their best qualities and what you love most about them (even if you have to make it up). Repeat the process if you feel inspired over the next couple days.
- report back after several days to document any changes in the relationship
Most importantly, have fun! 🙂