The Problem With Being Rich

We often hold subconscious beliefs about the downside of getting what we want that can hold up the manifesting party. Got any party poopers in the back of your mind? Let’s find out! 


Is there really a problem with being rich?

Well, if you’re not already (rich), there may very well be (a problem).

At least in your mind.

A problem you believe in which prevents “rich” from being your experience.

We do this a lot, you know. Hold unconscious beliefs about something we say we want, which keeps us from experiencing it. (Whether it’s healthy relationship, fabulous body, career success, etc. that we desire.)

Once you reveal your belief in the problem, you’re much more likely to get what you want. Awareness of the belief is a powerful start; which facilitates the next step of releasing it.

While I have no opinion about whether you be wealthy or not, I know many who would like to be yet aren’t. These folks often don’t realize they may believe in a problem with being rich.

Yesterday while addressing Sylvia Nibley’s Conscious Business Circle in Salt Lake, I shared a recent realization about my apparent six figure financial “set point.” (I haven’t found myself too much above or too far below that point for a while – a sure indicator of a set point.

But it also made me wonder if perhaps I also buy into the thought that there’s something wrong with having lots more money.

So with the intention of shedding some light on what might be your “rich-stopper,” let’s look at some of the problems with being rich, shall we?

I’ll start.  🙂

The problem with being rich … well, in my case it feels better to word it: “The problem with being more rich than I already feel, is … ”

  • it’ll upset the dynamics in my relationship (owie!  Didn’t see that one coming!)
  • friends and family will be resentful because I didn’t earn or deserve this wealth more than they do (pretty typical)
  • others will want and expect me to give them money (another common “problem” we believe about wealth)
  • I’ll have to get serious about responsible handling of money – smart investments, finding tax breaks, accountants, etc.

Oh boy, I’m finding it a little too easy to come up with reasons!! ha

I honestly didn’t think this post was for me.  Sheesh.

While I’m writing the follow up to this piece (what to do with this new awareness), I’d love to hear whether you can bring to light any problems with being rich.

Or whatever it is you want … weight loss, love, successful business … can you see a problem with having it?

  • November 19, 2009
  • Sophia says:

    wow. I’m re-reading this article and the one thing that sticks out that contradicts my desire to win the lottery or have so much money that I don’t know what to do with it, is that:
    1. This inner belief that I don’t deserve to have money come to me so easily b/c I want to earn it so that others would admire i don’t appear lazyor “lucky”. Wow! this belief was burried deep under.
    2. Then the belief that it doesn’t come easily fast enough or often enough lol. It happens in a blue moon. lol. I need to change this story lol
    3. I have my heart set on being independent this yr. and that includes financially. I wanted to have several other streams on income coming in. The thought of having my own business’s is exciting. So perhaps that’s a preventing it to come easily as well b/c of my belief that I have to work for it to feel that i deserve it.
    (wow another ah ha belief. lol)
    hmm… I guess this sums up to my belief that I don’t deserve money to come easily to me. which doesn’t surprise me I grew up being told to work hard b/c the more money u make the better easier life is.. n being told I lazy as a child didn’t help that either. lol. Explains why i want to earn my income.
    Nice. Hopefully I can use this awareness to change my financial outcome.. wish me “luck”. =0)

  • Gemstone3 says:

    I had a breakthrough last night in my psych-K session with my coach Carrie…. that frankly shocked me.
    This past week I’ve felt stuck and frustrated as I paid bills and watched my account balance go down. I kept saying, “but I took MMM over the summer, and I was doing so well. What happened?”
    As Carrie and I started talking she noticed that I seemed to have a problem with the word abundance. She said, “Does abundance seem extreme to you?” I thought about it and asked her to test me, and it turns out I did!
    On a subconscious level, I was still associating abundance with being ostentatious– and therefore not something I felt truly comfortable with.
    Now that I’m aware of this, I can begin to change the way I feel about abundance….

  • Suzie Cheel says:

    Thank you that so true- and i love an abundance of Lackyou will like this
    Worry is Prayer that attracts what you do desire!
    I love seeing you validate yourself

  • Annette says:

    Laura, That’s it!! The payoff is what I was trying to get at – thank you..
    The payoff for me is Validation. From ME. I kept looking for it from outside sources. I got a lot of it, too – but it was never enough. Now that I am focusing on validating the inner child, the inner genius (Thanks Iyabo), and the inner Master, it’s giving me so much more. I feel . . . satisfied.
    And Mitch – great insight – gave me more fuel for sure.
    Suzie Cheel you are Brilliant!! An Abundance of Lack! No matter what you focus on, there’s more than enough for everyone – including lack.

  • Demelza says:

    I would like to have more money in my life, but I have been a secretary for almost 40 years, and have never made much money. Never get promotions. I don’t know what else to do…………

  • Jeannette,
    In the interest of time I read a few posts and LOVED them. Maybe I will create unlimited time consciousness and read them all some-time! I also love that you are following Gay & Katie Hendricks, aka, “Gaytie”. They teach that the average human can only hold joy for 6 seconds! They call what results from that “Upper Limiting”, which begs their question, “HOW GOOD CAN YOU STAND IT?”
    I am loving how you are opening my eyes about money. I have this feeling that as I learn from you, my view of money as a big orange scary Tiger (undependable and untrustworthy) will turn into an idea of it as an Elephant. I have fear and what I want is Friendly Awe and Respect. I know I could love and trust an elephant!
    Money had the power to Take Away from me in my childhood, take away my house, take away my security & friendships (moving for dad’s work)take away my dad (far away work) and now I experience having to pay bills and “deal with $” as a “Taking Away My Time and Energy”…and I feel angry. (Money as Villian) I’ve begun to create 2X a month to “deal with money” and have tried for 2 years to figure out a “system” but to no avail. I have made dealing with money and bills hard simply because I resist taking the time to do it and getting in a freeze/fear mode sometimes when I was afraid I didn’t want to look, because there might not be enough. (Ostrich buried in sand, anyone?)
    I want to love money and my relationship with it instead of being afraid of it.
    I notice that my story around not creating the body I want is that if I’m too pretty, it will make someone else feel “less than” pretty, so I keep myself an average weight. I commit this year to being at my best size and fitness level. The story is that I’m so awesome that if I really land in that awesomeness, that others might feel inferior. Interesting work for a Image Coach, I’d say. The sweetheart message is that I want EVERYONE to feel beautiful, pretty and powerful (Golden!)- especially me!
    Love, kisses and squeezes to you. Auretha

  • Mitch says:

    By “in fact I need it” I meant if in fact I need it. Is that a signal I have more work to do in that area? Maybe so. 🙂

  • Mitch says:

    Nice idea, Laura.
    I think a payoff I have is that being a suffering hero/martyr brings praise from other people who say, “Look how determined you are, good for you” and that kind of thing. One thing for me to realize is that other people’s opinions don’t matter. Another thing to realize is that if they *do* matter, I can still get lots of praise for being successful! lol So my validation from outside sources, in fact I need it, doesn’t depend on my being unhappy.
    My new statement is, I now accept reality, which is that I am a naturally abundant creative being. I haven’t played the suffering hero because I was focused on lack, but because on some level I recognized the disparity between what I was living and what I am really worth. It’s right that I should be rich, and I allow myself to embrace that now. A prospering hero has so much more to offer the world anyway. 😀

  • Tiffany says:

    Jeannette, once again, LOVE this! I’ve heard all the time “Just focus on what feels good, don’t worry about the why!”, but sometimes that why can be a gigantic brick wall on our path to progress. Constantly turning away from the why can sometimes leave us at a standstill.
    From another blog, I’ve stolen the method of writing down all the pros of my desire coming to fruition AND writing down the cons; therefore, you think about all the amazing things you’ll acquire AND reveal limiting and conflicting beliefs. It’s definitely a win-win situation.
    We all say we want something, but sometimes we can’t help but set ourselves up for failure when we secretly have a vendetta against our manifestation. 😛

  • Jessica says:

    Thanks once again! Fabulous. A great reminder in perfect time! When I began to read your post, I had this thought about my current financial situation- and actually about my unhealthy weight too… at one time or another I’ve wondered about others who are in my situation. By giving focus on how they live and wondering what I have that could help them. I really do my best to understand others…
    So my thought was: “I guess I’m lacking in funds right now so I know how others feel” Light bulb! It is important to me to not judge others, so it helps me accept them more by ending up in a similar situation myself! I create it… even though I’d prefer to understand without having this stress! haha! But how else to I get the clear picture. As soon as I realize that- it shifts the energy. Snap! Okay, I’m ready to experience what a rich person experiences now! haha! 🙂
    As in what drives their decisions, etc.
    I can’t wait to read all the comments, so I apologize if I am repeating… but one of my money hangups is all the life skills I’ve learned (and LOVE about myself) from growing up “poor”. Resourcefulness, not wasteful, etc. I fear (and sometimes see) how my daughter has other values because she hasn’t had to worry about it as much. Now that we are in a financial pinch for the first time ever in her life- I see some different qualities coming out of her; so what if I have “too much” money that she (or I) forgets to appreciate it…. the proverbial “spoiled” child- including myself. It is humbling, that’s for sure! 🙂 But yes, I agree, being aware of it, totally changes my thoughts, vibe and attraction of it! You rock!!

  • MissyB says:

    When you look at it there are problems with everything you want, or even have. I’ve worked so hard this year to get at the top of the happy no matter what scale and realise that even that feels bad at times. Going back to my sister’s issues, she is understandably low. And I feel bad for being happy. I feel bad because I don’t want to worry because it’ll bring me down the scale. I feel its wrong not to worry. I know worry won’t help – and make it worse, but I feel that if I don’t worry it shows I don’t care.
    Sometimes even the simplest things seem the most complicated …

  • Laura says:

    I think what you are trying to say Annette, is that we are driven by our payoffs. We each are getting something from staying in our present situations. I mean, saying I am a Master at something is pretty powerful…you saying “look how good I am at…” is a strong statement, for Mitch it is the suffering hero. How about we find other ways to feel those empowering things (statements we say about overselves to reinforce this lack mentality) that actually bring us what we really want? Let’s rewrite those statments/views of us and really describe those feelings in a powerful, positive and abundant way.
    I’ll start: I am a Master at managing my new fortune. I am a Master at making the best decisions on how to handle my abundance of money. I love the fact that although I can manage very well on little money, I feel so much more freedom and generosity now that I have more money than I know what to do with….
    Now you guys…

  • Suzie Cheel says:

    Thank you Jeanette, this has sparked a post for me.
    First i relate to what Annette is saying as there was a time when i thought if I had millions i would drop what O was doing- that is when the Big win comes in:)
    Now i know after getting the home we love, a new model car- and for us that is giving up a 20 year old Merc- that used to make me feel rich. It doea make me feel safe and good. Today i know i would keep doing a lot of what I am doing, I would have the resources to empower more people, i would travel more and meet with more of the like minded people who are writing here- so many of my online friends.
    Today i do feel rich. the past few years have been tough financially and I have really learned to live on less.
    We moved out of a costly city to what I call paradise, I walk and swim each day on a beach people pay thousands of dollars to holiday at. We eat local freah produce so we are healthier.We have learnt to live with less, we have a greater love for one another- my business and soulmate, the baggage is going.
    I am like Kim, i grew up in abundance with what I would call caution- it has taken many years to release the I am not worthy sayings that have stopped me in the past.
    Today I woke up ” Happy 4 no reason” with a smile on my face, in my heart & in my belly… RICH I am happy and abundant and now I am ready for the millions to flow
    in gratitude

  • Annette says:

    Thank you Laura and Mitch! It’s really nice to know I have some company!
    Here’s a thought: it sounds like the 3 of us are driven by causes – what if we substituted our causes for ourselves?
    Oh poo – there’s a good idea here, but I can’t seem to articulate it! Any suggestions?

  • Gemstone3 says:

    Fantastic posts all the way around (as usual… I would expect nothing less from this group).
    For me in this moment, my biggest limiting belief is: “Would someone really pay me more during this recession?” “Do I have the right to ask for a raise, or want more money when so many other people are struggling?”
    During your fabulous MMM course this summer, I unloaded most of my limiting beliefs that were passed onto me from my parents. Many of them have been posted above.
    I think my 2nd biggest stumbling block has been, “aside from my job, how else could I really make money?”
    Thanks again everyone for offering such wonderful insight on this topic.

  • Mitch says:

    Annette, great observation! It takes a lot of awareness and honesty to admit to being a little in love with a martyr/struggle story. I have been noticing a bit of a suffering hero complex in myself, so I can definitely relate. lol
    In a way, I have found myself feeling protective of this “hard-done-by little boy with a heart of gold” that dwells within me. There’s something addictive about all that righteous suffering, isn’t there? Have I just been programmed by too many fairytale books and movies? I sometimes feel like I’d be abandoning my inner child by letting that story go. Isn’t that interesting!! I guess I’ll just keep telling him that he gets to come along for the ride.
    And if I’m really that attached to playing hard-done-by characters, I guess it’s a good thing I’m an actor. lol I’ll leave that stuff with the fictional characters where it belongs. 😀
    Thanks, Jeannette, for the invitation to become even more aware!

  • Berta says:

    You can give me thirty lashes with a wet noodle for joining this discussion since I just said I would no longer speak of lack of money, BUT . . . I’m busted by your statement, Jeanette, when you wrote ” . . . when I’m contemplating a purchase. “Do you really want another thing to find a place for, to keep up and keep track of?”
    Just yesterday I told a neighbor a mantra that I have kept for years: “Your possessions possess you.” I went on to explain that the initial cost is the smallest price you pay for the thing. You have to find a place for it, dispose of something else (garbage fees) or build a space for it (i.e. shelves, addition, and garage), insure it or its space, then dispose of it or sell it. All cost time and energy as well as more money.
    Clearly this is all about the burden of earning enough money to maintain discretionary goods.
    But not all spending is on things; I want to spend money on travel and helping others. So it shoots this reason to fear having and spending money in the butt.
    Dump that mantra? YES
    Replace it with? HELP
    P.S. Janette, we share a dream to be a successfully published author! I’m sending you my best vibes to fulfill your dream.

  • Florin says:

    I believe I heard about the limiting unconscious beliefs about money and everything you want and don’t have in the “Attractor Factor” or “The Key” by Joe Vitale. Joe really is a great guy and I recommend reading his book “Zero Limits”. 😀
    about the money belief, it depends if you really want money, or better said the importance you give to money. A common habit people tend to have to money is that when they struggle to get rich and don’t make it they say “money is bad” and all that stuff. Joe Vitale also says the you can be programed since you were a little child to have a position about money.
    The most important thing you can get out of this lesson is that all your positionality about every thing you see or don’t decide where you are and where you’re going in life. The way to live is to be 100% responsible for your actions and be neutral to the outcomes because you really can’t control them. 😀
    best wishes from me 🙂

  • Iyabo Asani, The Inner Genius Coach says:

    Oooh, Debra, that is such a good thing that you have such an open wonderful relationship with your sister and you are both on the same vibe. I could not help but respond to your comment because I addressed this on my community call.
    Do you want just enough oxygen to breathe for the day?
    We all have the vibration of knowing (although we rarely think about it) that there is more than enough oxygen to support all of us on the planet. That is why we do not think about it.
    Well, money is a companion as we use it to express the exchange of energy between us and others. It keeps the lights on, it allows us to post to this wonderful blog, it helps us tweet, it helps us put food on the table.
    So, looking at it that way, why do we want just enough?
    Ahhhh…. Another projection that we just put on money!

  • Iyabo Asani, The Inner Genius Coach says:

    Jeanette, Thank you! I will write a blog post for you on not giving a flip what other people think. In fact, it ties into the whole money discussion nicely.
    On my free community call yesterday, someone emailed me that her blocks with money had to do with the fact that her sister is already jealous of her and so she did not want to make more money as it would upset the apple cart.
    Here is a link to that call on Heal Your Relationship With Money –
    We had a great time on that call. It really was my privilege to host that call.
    Hugs to all of you.

  • Gretchen Sunderland says:

    Enjoyed your post very much.
    I work with a lot of clients who have money issues and I find that “if they can’t picture it, they can’t have it!”
    Years ago, when I did my dream boards I would put on them different target money goals – $50,000 one year, $65,000 the next year – and guess what?! That’s about what I made those years.
    That’s all my mental (and visual) picture would allow me.
    When I finally got smarter, I visualized unlimited income and I got clear on the “whys” of wanting so much. For me, it was for freedom from the corporate world, being able to give back, and be able to travel and have the career of my dreams.
    It has worked for me, but I really needed to “picture” it first in order to have it.

  • Laura says:

    Ok…so the original one did post after all….sorry for the repeat…it was just huge for me! lol

  • Laura says:

    Okay…just wrote a whole post and it wouldn’t submit…just lost it…Agh! Let’s see if I can recreate!
    Thanks Annette for totally opening my eyes to what is really going on for me! I couldn’t agree with you more! I resist letting go of my current situation is that it works for me:
    ~look how good I am at just getting by!
    ~I am a master at “creative finances” (as a friend once called it)
    ~I love the challenge (and I am sure) adrenaline rush of having to figure my way out of a situation and knowing I always can (very empowering).
    ~Look how happy I can be in spite of having to do without alot of the things I want?
    See how crazy this is? What if I put al this energy in managing my OVERABUNDANCE instead of the lack of it? What if I spend time figuring out all of the wonderful things I can do with my money? How about I challenge myself (and get the adrenaline rush) to create the life/business and prosperity that I really want?
    This is a huge realization for me, not just because it feels so much stronger than my “comfort zone” of this is what I’ve always been used to, but because there is a HUGE payoff for me. I am GOOD at this! I am a MASTER at figuring out how to get by. Need to find a way to get that same payoff!
    Thank you Annette for the catalyst to see what is really going on! I feel so enlighened!

  • Laura says:

    Wow…Annette, I totally relate to what you are saying and I just realized something else (isn’t this process so cool how just when you think you’ve exhausted an issue – someone points something out and you are like- WAIT – I got more!)….:-)
    So, what I realized I have resistance to giving up is HOW GOOD I AM at just getting by. I am a master of “creative finances” (as a friend once called it). I can stay very comfortably at this level because I know I can get out of anything and love the challenge and (I am sure) adrenaline rush of having to find a solution. How crazy is this? Wouldn’t that energy be so much better spent by putting it into managing my OVERABUNDANCE of finances? Or figuring out all the wonderful things I can do with my money. How I can put that challenge into moving my business into the next level?
    This is such a huge realization as it clearly is what is keeping me in the state of just gettin by. I am a master at it and am ready to examine ways to Master “creative abundance”!
    Thank you Annette – you hit the nail on the head for me!
    xo Laura

  • Debra says:

    I agree, Iyabo! …the best part for me was the AHA! of realizing that I had somehow, somewhere decided on what ‘enough’ was. WEIRD!
    I love your oxygen analogy. That’s perfect. We would never get through a portion of our day and think… Oh…that’s enough oxygen, thank you…I’ve had enough…I don’t need any more right now…this is good, thanks. LOL
    That thought seriously makes me laugh out loud!!!
    I agree with Gretchen. For me the reason for limitlessness is FREEDOM. I love freedom.
    …and so it is with oxygen…we freely breathe all day every day…we don’t have to even think about it. It’s natural. THAT’S the money vibe I’m in for. I don’t even have to think about it. It’s just there; it’s natural.
    OMGoodness!!!! That feels SOOOOO goooood!!!!!!! 🙂
    Thanks Iyabo and Gretchen for amping the confirmation!

  • Debra says:

    So funny, the timing of this post. (On time, as usual!)
    My sister and I were both discussing our money vibes the other day. She asked me if I ever thought about how much money I was putting in my vibrational reality (she’s been listening to lots of Abe lately 🙂 ) She went on to say that she’s been recognizing that she’s always positively held the thought that having just enough money to live comfortably and do the things she wanted to do was good…that she didn’t NEED to be rich…she just needed ‘enough’.
    And then she said she’s been re-thinking that vibe…like, what is enough? And what does rich mean? And maybe she’s wanting to up her idea of enough so that she can travel more, update her living space/lifestyle some more..and help out/be in service when and where she wants, when she wants.
    It was CRAZY that she brought this up…it was as if she were reading my mind! I’d been thinking/feeling the same observations/awarenesses.
    When I told her that she thought I was crazy, ’cause in her mind she sees us as being more ‘rich’ than her…and if she could have closer to what we have she didn’t think she’d be pondering her current money vibe.
    We followed that w/3 sentences of perspective and everything being relative and realized we could absolutely be in the same boat. Now, we just needed to get the thing pointed downstream where more money, etc. is!
    The bottom line we came to is that if we’re NOT really wanting more…can we expect that more will come?
    And do we really want more? …when we’re blessed and comfortable? …are we really comfortable though…’cause if we are, would this thought process have come into our awareness?
    So we’re looking at all of it…and we’re allowing our vibrational reality to increase infinitely. Why not? We couldn’t come up with one single idea (that felt good) not to. We’ll deal w/the points you came up with (we came up w/them too).
    Both of us agreed that our main reason for allowing more financial abundance in was so that we could be FREE to do, give, share, be what ever, when ever, where ever we want to every day. Now that feels good. And it’s limitless.
    We’ll just allow the Universe to deliver limitless richness…and we’ll find lots of fun ways to play with it as it arrives!
    Thanks Jeannette…for being YOU, for being here. 🙂

  • Annette says:

    Umm – that would be martyRdom, not martydom.
    Poor Marty . . I did not mean to put him in a tar pit. But it IS 6:45 am and I have not yet gone to bed!

  • Annette says:

    Jiminy Crickets!
    Let’s see . . The problem with being rich is
    Would I finish what I have already started? ???
    I just took a few minutes to ponder this, and here’s what came yowling into my awareness: my lizard brain is mired in the tar pits of martydom!!!
    Oh- look how strong and resourceful I am by tolerating unwanted conditions!
    See how I magically manage with all this ‘poverty’!!
    Watch as I subsist on a daily basis!!
    Marvel at my ability to be cheerful in spite of my lack!!
    OMG you guys – this is hilarious!! True, but hilarious!
    New story: Watch and marvel at my ability to cheerfully manage my magical PROSPERITY!!!
    Bless you, Jeannette, for once again exhibiting exquisite timing!!

  • MissyB says:

    I’ve enough money in the bank to buy myself some luxuries – whilst my sister faces repossession of her property through divorce. With 4 children at home that’s not good.
    How can I buy a not needed flat screen tv when she can barely afford to buy anything above food and bills ?
    Then I worry – then I try to console myself that she chose her path. She wanted children and she then wanted to be free of her 20 year marriage. But here I am with some money – scared to spend it. Spot the resistence !

  • Brigitte says:

    Wow, nice one. I know I’ve got some wrong beliefs (just like anybody, I guess) but I just didn’t know how to find them.
    “The problem with being (insert something good here) is…” is a wonderful way. I didn’t expect to find this so easy.
    You see, the only ‘problem with being rich’ I can think of is thieves. Yes, that’s my insecure self. I’m scared that, if I get wealthy, I’d get robbed and they’d steal all of my money (making me poor back again, huh).
    Is it just me, or what this really means is that I’ve got TONS of negative beliefs related to my almost continous “I’m not safe” state of mind? What to do, then? Hmmm…
    Oh, also, I find it difficult to think that I might get rich while I don’t have a job (and can’t get one, due to a busy college timetable). How to believe in unexpected, non job-related flows of money? I wonder…

  • Kim Falconer says:

    Jeannette, great post! My first thought on the problem of being richer than I already am is, been there;don’t that! I grew up in such magnificent abundance yet had experiences that were not joyful or loving. I came to equate great wealth with unhappiness (just as one might think poverty = unhappiness). Funny that. . .
    It’s taken me time to unravel the links I made between money and life, such as:
    * it makes people wary of me
    * men only want me for it
    * friends only like me for it
    * such a lot of paperwork at tax time
    * it perturbs all relationships
    Oh…bingo. Just got an ah ha moment. The problem with being more rich than I am is my life might become like it was — lonely and unhappy.
    Wow, thanks Jeannette….I’m going to think about this!
    Janette, what problems? It is heaven being a published author…every minute of every day…heaven on earth. I promise! Bliss Bliss bliss!!!
    P.S. Ever since I read your blog, Jeannette, (from Michael Neil or???) about seeing how long you could go without thinking about money or looking at your accounts…well, I’ve been doing that for over a year and to tell the truth I have no idea how much money I have. I never look at my accounts. I never check price tags. I have no idea if there’s a years savings in there or $5.00. I took a holiday from worry about finances and I’ve never gone back to it! Who says you have to keep track? It works a lot better for me when I just trust!

  • Just read this excerpt in Elizabeth Grant’s newsletter:
    “‘In relationships, most of us are unable to tolerate harmony for very long periods of time.’ That’s what Katie Hendricks said during my radio show on Wednesday. It blew me away!
    “Katie says we’re unable to tolerate harmony for extended periods because we’re so used to conflict. It’s almost like that’s where our set point is and we have to get back to conflict or we start feeling really uncomfortable.
    “That really explains a lot, doesn’t it? About why couples cycle back into dysfunction or unhappiness or old habits that don’t work.”
    I’m including it here because I think it offers additional insight about why we aren’t always 100% successful at letting the goods in.

  • Jacqui, for some reason I get some comfort knowing I’m not the only one with these – ha – but man, there are LOTS more I hear from clients, too.
    Things like:
    – not wanting to outshine parents
    – worried about not getting other benefits dependent on income (like financial aid for school, social security, even unemployment)
    – being a target for lawsuits
    – not being sure whether someone loves you or loves your money
    – less prosperous siblings expect you to fund care for aging parents
    – etc.
    I’m just scratching the surface here; I know there are lots more floating around out there.
    Please pitch in on the follow up post, Jacqui, to share your insights there as well!

  • Oh wow ~ where to begin?! Definite ‘Twilight Zone’ moment when I started reading this. It was as if you’d got into my head and written down the thoughts that have been swirling there for the past week or so.
    Your ‘problems’ and limiting beliefs are the same as mine, and your insights have given me a lot to think about.
    Cannot wait to see what you/we will do with this awareness!
    With deep gratitude for having attracted you.
    Bliss and blessings,

  • Ooh, I can feel this as a BIG ONE, Nancy: “Money & responsibility– another thing to think about!”
    I don’t even like to carry cash on me (used to pride myself on not carrying a purse or wallet, even) because it felt like I had to “keep track of it” and make sure I didn’t misplace it or let anything fall out.
    Owning two homes has been a little something to get used to. I used think running ONE house was a full time job – now I’ve got two to worry about? (Not my idea, by the way, but I also didn’t want to give up my first house when my boyfriend wanted to buy a new one together.)
    Great opportunity to take thought where it had not been before.
    With some re-thinking, and a friendly property manager (thank you V-Man), I’m making progress on this one. I even carry a purse, too, even though there’s rarely cash in it. ha
    But still, I fall back on this thought when I’m contemplating a purchase. “Do you really want another thing to find a place for, to keep up and keep track of?”
    Your comment’s helping me realize that I’m keeping that one alive and kicking. Hmm.
    Thanks for joining the conversation, Nancy! I’ll be thinking on this one some more …

  • Nancy says:

    Weathly when I meant wealthy. Hope you still get the drift.

  • Nancy says:

    Can I see a problem with being more weathly than I am? Yes, and it is a small sticking point for me.
    Maybe I’m buying into the scarcity mentality that if I have, it makes for less for others to have. Having lots of love is not a problem, and I can only guess that the reason is that I feel that love is truly unlimited so I’m not taking anything from someone else.
    Perhaps the reason that I’m not richer than I am is that
    I am uncomfortable thinking that people won’t like me because they don’t have as much.
    I love what Iyabo wrote on that subject in her comment to this post.
    On the other hand maybe I’m uncomfortable having more than a few of my friends because it is distressing to me that they COULD have more but it is up to THEM and I think that if they could only just see…
    Desire is another big thing. Things have been pretty comfortable so I’ll rustle up a few big desires.
    Most of me wants a Sprinter Motorhome and it would be here tomorrow except that part of me thinks it would be one more thing to be responsible for. Money & responsibility– another thing to think about!
    Such a lovely question, Jeannette. Some of my thoughts surprised me. It will have me thinking for a few more days and I thank you for it.

  • Laura, isn’t it fascinating what we make up in our minds? And to think we EVER know what someone else is thinking … that’s fantasy & illusion at its finest.
    So often it is just a projection of our own (often unacknowledged) thoughts and fears.
    Thanks for reading and especially for posting, Laura! Much appreciated.

  • Laura says:

    Wow Jeannette, great post as usual.
    A few things come to mind but first I want to acknowledge Shauna’s post which really hit home for me! It is so easy to go into the “why I can’t” and I know this has been a lifelong limiting belief. The interesting thing is I notice the constant reinforcement whenever I am around my family. It also reveals itself if you look at the people you spend the most time with in your life. Most likely they are in a similar financial situation as yourself or at least a pretty close income bracket.
    “I don’t know to make more and I’m not doing the right things” OMG….so part of my automatic thinking. I can easily find ways to feel rich with what I have and how I live my life, but getting beyond that point just feels a bit out of my comfort zone.
    Something that I realized years ago was that I started feeling like a fraud because I would spend money recklessly and always appeared on the outside to be well off. When I thought about what was actually in the bank account and how irresponsible I had been with money I felt that I was keeping a secret that only I knew the truth. This made my ability to attract people with more than I had almost impossible. Totally out of my comfort zone. I dated someone recently who is in a much higher financial situation than I am in and I found myself feeling a sense of lack. While he had no idea what my situation was like, the fact that he owned two homes and was renting a third, bought art on a regular basis, etc. made me focus on all that I DIDN’T HAVE. I felt that I had to keep this hidden as I would be perceived as being irresponsible or incapable. Of course, I was creating this all in my head as I never got any indication that he cared one way or another how much money I had or didn’t have.
    My top limiting beliefs that I are holding me back and I am ready to bid adieu:
    ~ I don’t have the skills/experience/knowledge to do this.
    ~I can’t do this myself
    ~I should have saved money when I was younger and now it’s too late (crazy, right?)
    ~It’s hard work
    ~I’m not disciplined enough
    ~I don’t want to do what it takes to have money
    Funny how when you write them down how silly they all seem. So, I am officially letting all those beliefs go….
    Thank you for this wonderful exercise!

  • Shauna, thanks for pitching in with a powerful voice on this topic. I hope everyone follows your link to check out more of your work!
    I’ve enjoyed your material for quite some time!

  • Iyabo Asani, The Inner Genius Coach says:

    AHA! Thanks for posting this just before my free community call on healing your money relationship and thoroughly distracting me with this juicy subject!
    Well, here is what is going on. As humans, one of our biggest needs is a sense of belonging. Our lovely left brain helps us solidify that sense of belonging and helps us protect it and not move past it.
    The real issue here is that we have not been taught to give our right brains the equivalent space in our personal development and growth.
    If you have severe limiting beliefs, it is a sure sign that your left brain has gone hay wire with no balance from your right brain.
    Our right brain knows no limits and helps us maintain oneness with each other and the Universe.
    We know that abundance is all around us. How do we become one with it? Aha! Through the right brain creativity and intuition.
    So, get into a creative stance and look at this issue afresh and you will come up with phenomenal breakthroughs.
    For me, I certainly had the same issue with money. I did feel that I would lose a lot of friends. Well, what I did was I got rid of those friends.
    I also have had a really good time thoroughly making peace with not giving a flip what anyone else thinks about me. I envision myself with what I want in front of those people that I think may judge me and I laugh out loud.
    I used to be very concerned about this before – but no more!
    By the way Jeanette, when your money catches up with your fabulously wealthy self, I promise, I will still love you and I know you will love me too.
    Love, Gratitude and Miracles!

  • Janette says:

    Jeannette, I used to share every single one of those you listed – and the last one is still with me – having to be a Grown Up feels a real party-killer for me, LOL!
    As usual, your post is amazingly timely. Just this week I discovered several imaginary “downsides” of being a successful published author. Came as a huge shock, I can tell you. I’m not going to give them the validation of listing them – suffice to say, they are uncannily similar to the ones you’ve listed for ‘rich’
    Thankfully, releasing them has been quite easy since the awareness kicked in. But that whole “Grown Up” thing feels tricky. Making a living as a writer, according to the wisdom of those who’ve gone before, means negotiating contracts (or approving what one’s agent has negotiated), marketing oneself, building a platform, etc etc. The actual activities themselves sound like fun. But the link between those activities and the earning of income suddenly pushes it into Grown Up territory.
    Hm, you’ve unearthed a rich seam of discovery for me to mine. Many thanks!!!

  • You said, “I honestly didn’t think this post was for me. Sheesh.” – Hilarious! I know that when I write about money, which is all the time, I often start out thinking the post is for my readers, but we always learn when we teach and I usually find something in it deeply applies to me as well.
    In this case, it’s a really great reminder that we need to delve into our reasons why we have been keeping something away from us (if we want that something). The very thought of something being separate from us is part of the underlying problem.
    For me, limiting beliefs come in the form of ‘why I can’t’ rather than ‘What would happen if I did.’ Let’s see…I am not living more fully and abundantly financially because:
    * I don’t know HOW to make more (what a rotten and untrue excuse!)
    * I’m just not meant for it
    * my parents/people would think I’m lazy if I didn’t work hard for it or that I don’t deserve it (?! what the heck ?!)
    * I’m not doing the right things (this is a never-ending loop)
    * No one values what I do (and they should) – this is demonstrably not true
    * It takes forever to get rich
    Thanks, as always for a thoughtful post, Jeannette!
    I DO think I need a more enlightened accountant though…maybe that’s what’s holding me back. 😉

  • Iyabo, will you guest post on this topic?:
    “I also have had a really good time thoroughly making peace with not giving a flip what anyone else thinks about me.”
    That’s a skill I think many can benefit from! I’ve made progress, and would love to make even more.
    Would love to hear you expand on it for everyone here!

  • Oh, Janette, I think we might have some more “downsides” in common than just the ones on money. lol
    Thanks for confirming releasing is easy with awareness. I couldn’t agree more!

  • That’s a nice light bulb to experience, Mike. The “why not me too?” one!
    And amen, Peggy, that all this exploration of “problems” is really just creating more opportunity!
    Thanks for posting you two!

  • Peggy McKee says:

    In this case, I really do see problems as opportunities in “work clothes”. I can handle this one, I just know I can.
    Liked the article.

  • Mike Gionta says:

    I think many people see “being rich” as a birthright or a a “magical mystical” formula outside of their grasp.
    Many falsely believe rich people inherited their money when about 90% or more of millionaires are self made. I remember driving around my territory as a sales rep years ago looking at all the big buildings and thinking “someone owns these” and their were MANY of them. The light went on for me at that moment and I thought “why not me too?” 2 years later I went into business for myself and have never looked back.
    You are all entitled to wealth if you will only focus, plan and strive for it. It is their for all those who make a path to it!

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