The Problem With Excuses
The problem with excuses, I have recently gotten really clear about, is that the Universe hears them as instructions.
I learned years ago to stop saying things like, “I can’t afford it” or “I don’t have time” to requests that I just plain didn’t want to do. Because the last thing I want to manifest is lack of time or money.
I also learned that if I called in sick, I would sure enough really BE sick by the end of the day, so instead I took “mental health days.”
But I still find excuses creeping in to my responses sometimes, covering up the hard truth of “I just don’t feel like it.” When my (former) neighbor asked me to a birthday party this weekend, I knew I should say yes. After all, I want to stay in touch with these folks, I love that they asked me, and I love THEM.
And yet – I wasn’t interested in a big group gathering. I wanted to hole up and have a night off to myself. But that’s not what I said.
What I said was, “I’ve got an article I’ve got to finish by Sunday night – big deadline approaching fast – I’ve been struggling to write this thing – I better not join you. Thanks, though, I wish I could!”
The next day someone asked if I wanted to go shopping with them. I really didn’t. But instead of saying so, I fell back on my article deadline excuse. Which was real! I really did have a deadline – but I talked it up like it was a big priority/problem and that if I wasn’t diligent, it wasn’t going to come together.
Because I thought that was easier to say then “No thanks” or “I’d rather not.”
And guess what happened?
My article was extremely difficult to write this month! I totally missed the deadline! Not only that, but the piece I wrote is useless! (Because I didn’t realize Easter is in March this year, not in April. Since I’m writing for the April issue, and the article was about Easter, it’s useless!) Not only THAT, but the second piece I gave them for consideration, I ran out of inspiration to write. (Spring clean your life.) So I am now officially three days past deadline and on my third article. (Earth Day’s gonna be my winner.) I mean, this thing has become a big challenge! A huge investment of time; a struggle that I am not used to dealing with!
And when I asked myself how this came to be … I realized it came to be through my stupid words.
“Stupid words.” That doesn’t sound very nice.
Let me find a nicer perspective. It wasn’t stupid. I was going with what I thought was the path of least resistance. I know better now. Next time I’ll just say I’m all out of shopping desire or I’m approaching my party quota for the month. I don’t know. But it will definitely not be an excuse that I know Universe takes as an instruction.
Thank you, Universe, for being so amazingly reliable! You really rock! I especially love how this third article comes together amazingly well today! So insightful and witty and easy and extremely well-received!
Yeah, much better.
I offer this story, of course, as an example of what not to do when you’re formulating your next excuse. Do yourself a favor and make sure it’s something you’d like to see manifest.
(Hey, maybe if we still felt inspired to use an excuse instead of just say “no thanks,” it could be something like, “I’d like to, but my accountant insists we meet to discuss what to do with all this money that’s accumulating!” or “I’m sorry, my masseuse asked me to meet with his other clients to explain how I lost all this weight without exercising or dieting” or “Can’t do it, Bono’s in town and I promised to see him.” Maybe I should retitle this post “The Power of Excuses.” hee hee)