The Three Rs of Finding the Feel Good

threeWe all know that one of the most important concepts in deliberate creation is feeling good.

Without good vibes we’ve got misaligned energy to the things we desire (since we only want anything because we think it’ll feel good to get it). When the energy isn’t aligned with what we want, what we want doesn’t happen.

So feeling good is KEY.

The question sometimes arises as to what to do when we have contradictory “feel goods.”

For example, it feels good to have a quiet weekend at home, but our sister is expecting us to visit for her birthday party. Or it feels good to sleep in today, but it also feels good to keep the job that requires a 7 a.m. arrival. Or it feels good to buy a one-person sauna, but it also feels good to keep the money set aside in savings.

How to manage contradictory feel goods?

It’s an important skill to hone since feeling good is crucial to successful deliberate creation.

Here are the three “R”s for maintaining the “feel good” when contradictions appear:

  • Recognize when a limiting belief may be in play (and get over it)
  • Release yourself from the need of someone else’s approval and acceptance
  • Reveal the deeper the desire (explore what you really want)

1. Recognize limiting beliefs: We handicap ourselves with limiting beliefs all the time.  (Oops, there it is again!)

Question the obstacles that seem to contribute to a compromised feel good. Do you really have to be at work at 7 am in order to keep the job? When I realized my body really preferred to wake up with the sun, I asked my boss if I could shift my schedule to come in an hour later. He appreciated the catalyst to implement flex hours for the entire department!

2. Release the need for approval from others: It’s the challenge of trying to make others happy that often compromises our own “feel good.”

Once you give up the need for others love and acceptance (which you do by giving it to yourSELF) then it becomes much easier to follow your path of joy without influence or interruption from others.

3. Reveal the true desire: if you dig a little deeper on seemingly contradictory desires, you’ll likely find a commonality, and with that recognition it becomes easier to choose what’s best for you.

For example, if I want a quiet weekend because I want to relax and rejuvenate, but I also want to help sister celebrate her birthday, maybe I could combine both by inviting her to the spa with me for a relaxing couples massage.

Regardless of what option we choose, knowing that compromising the “feel good” is NOT an option is what serves our successful manifestations!

I’d love to hear your tips for resolving conflicting feel goods. Thanks in advance!  🙂

  • February 20, 2009
  • Aaron says:

    Wow ! Your posts really hit deep. I’ve been reading and trying to understand manifestation and law of attraction since I first heard of quantum physics. I’ve come to realize there are many levels of understanding to it. My beliefs about what makes me happy come into question….I’m am trying to understand how I try to make others happy to get their approval, so they in turn can make me happy. Ultimately, I would like to be happy of my own volition. Thank you.

  • thestarlightwriter says:

    Okay, here’s my take on this. You have time for everything, you just don’t have to spend as much time doing them all if you don’t feel like it! 😉 If you want to go to a party and be social but also want a quiet night in, don’t worry, just go to the party and enjoy for an hour and then hop on home and get in yer p.j.’s! LOL, I know, I know…..but I had to say it. 🙂

  • MsNikki says:

    Again! Another on point post! Earlier today I didn’t feel like meeting up with some girls to do knitting. I wanted and needed to be social but couldn’t motivate myself to leave home. I was talking to an ex and became so angry and hurt at what he said.This propelled me to go to the event. I was still upset at the drive towards the event but calmed myself down by envisioning white and pink light around me. Lo and behold! I am so glad that I went!

  • I know that habit, too, Jennifer – and it’s a beautiful one to leave behind, isn’t it?!
    Ahhhh .. the relief of not caring what anyone else thinks!
    WOO HOO!!!!

  • Jennifer says:

    I saw a great quote just yesterday that addresses one of the 3 R’s…
    “What the world thinks of you is none of your business.”
    I find myself constantly worrying what others think of me when I should be concentrating on loving myself, doing things that I enjoy and feeling good.
    Great post!

  • Well, you’re right smack in the middle of the work, Mary. This is what it looks like! Identifying what’s stopping us and finding our way past/around it.
    Seriously, how boring would it be if this were EASY?! lol
    Thanks for posting, Mary! Always a pleasure to hear from the Self Help Goddess! 🙂

  • MaryK says:

    Ooooh, this is so very timely for me! 🙂
    I was laid off from my job a few months ago and would really LOVE to get my on-line business up and running… but money is starting to run a little thin. I really want to be able to continue staying home and working on my new business, but my limiting beliefs are creeping in and telling me that I need to get a full-time corporate job to pay the bills. And on top of that, I have another limiting belief telling me that no matter what corporate job I get there is just NO way I will like it, and I will obviously be miserable! And yes, I think part of me is still trying to get approval from those who don’t really understand the concept of making money on-line rather than working a regular 9-5 job…
    Sooooo, I’m going to take your point #3 and focus on what I really want… which is to be able to stay home full-time, continue to work on and grow my on-line business, and trust that the money will show up at exactly the right moment! Ahhh, that feels so much better!!! Feeling good is easy when you focus on the right things! 😉
    Thanks, Jeannette, for your post and for helping me see that there IS a way for me to find my feel good that resolves all my seemingly contradictory desires… they’re not so contradictory after all!

  • Oooh, Deb, this is big! You’ve heard how in some cultures they believe the best way to tame the monster is to name it? I love that you’re willing to look at it in the eye and move beyond it!
    woo hoo!
    And what a fun thought this one is for me … I bet a lot of us can enjoy this one .. what would it be like if it were just as easy to sell the art as it is to create it?
    (I actually know people on the exact opposite side of that .. they totally know how to sell something, but coming up with something to sell is where they get stuck.)
    Funny how creative we are in finding ways to make it an exciting journey, huh? lol

  • Deb says:

    Exactly what I was dealing with today!
    Sitting quietly to find my center, and re-define what would really get me excited to wake up to every day I launched smack dab into an ongoing limiting belief that I have. While creating art has always been easy, promoting it scares me and has kept me from following my dream and passion.
    Great to tap into WHAT my limiting belief is. Giving voice and naming this belief will allow me to look at it, let it go and move beyond it. Thanks for reading my mind today!

  • Sounds like it’s time for a new story, Nel! You’ve worked this old one enough to have earned your graduation from it, huh?!
    I would LOVE to see what happens when you start talking about how you used to have this experience of struggling to be positive, with worries popping up on the heels of good thoughts …
    … but now you’ve got more space around those good thoughts, that they’re easier to get to and more familiar than ever, that all your “work” in the past is starting to pay off, you’re feeling a real difference, and it’s just a matter of time till that shows up in real life. ha!
    I say that because I know you are not alone in this experience, Nel! Thanks for sharing your thoughts here .. much appreciated! 🙂

  • Nel says:

    This is my biggest struggle w/LOA. I try to be positive, but all my worries surface after good thoughts, and guess what–my life reflects this, grrr.
    I have a Wish board on the wall-one has come true so far!

  • Kim Falconer says:

    Oh that’s a big YES to the rendezvous. I’m taking us out to Mexican!
    xxx 🙂

  • Janette says:

    Okay, now I KNOW you have a bug in my brain – your blogs are too spot on to be coincidence!! LOL.
    I just spent a week consciously practising feeling good, and finding it easy about half the time. The rest was full of contradictory feel goods and compromise. I knew some of it came from fear of scarcity (“I need this job because I’ll never get another”… ha!). Some was the need for approval (“If I get this finished early the boss will give me a pat on the head” – metaphorically, you dig). And some was seemingly inner conflict (“I want to write now but I also want to go to my hilarious book group for a chat and glass of wine”)
    So reading your post is like having a personal one-on-one where you nail me to the spot (in the nicest possible way) and say “oy, here’s how it works, get it??” and I go “doh” because I know it’s right.
    Thank you for a great start to my Saturday, you rock!

  • Oh my gosh, huge one, Kim!! To realize that you can support and be present in mom’s life without enduring an 18 hour plane ride & abandoning garden & cats – HUGE!!!
    Thanks for a perfect example of how easy it would be to compromise, and how simple it is to have your cake and eat it too!!
    Love you, girlfriend. 🙂
    PS – I will say this, if you get on a plane to the states, coordinate with me, please, so we can rendezvous in person some day!

  • Kim Falconer says:

    This is a great topic, Jeannette. Thank you for these Three R’s!
    One conflicting feel good that’s surfaces from time to time is the desire to participate, support and be present in my mother’s life, and the 18 hour plane flight it would take to do so–along with the organizing house-cat-plant sitter, the time away from the ‘office’, the jet lag and the ‘family stuff’ that goes with any visit home. Oops–limiting beliefs all of them!!! The point is, part of me wants to connect and part of me wants to stay home.
    Using the 3R’s I can see immediately that there are all kinds of limiting beliefs here: O can’t do both, It’s hard to travel, things fall apart when I leave, my cats and gardens can’t live without me, I can’t write away from home, there is a lot of ’emotional stuff’ waiting for me when I arrive on my mother’s doorstep–and–my mother needs me, I should visit, she’s not happy with me so far away, visiting is the ‘right’ thing to do . . .
    How can I know that any of these ideas are true? Each one is certainly loaded with limitations.
    Releasing the need for approval starts with disentangling my own desire from the family and cultural paradigm’s expectations. The travel would get a big approval from others, but would it get one from me?
    My true desire is to feel at peace–in this case, at peace with my mother.
    The solution I’ve found is a blessing of the electronic age. We email. I send her little ‘twitter like’ updates of my life and she keeps me in her loop as well. In that way, we talk almost every day. The other support is meditation. In that state, we are in the same room, anytime, anywhere.
    It’s interesting. As I work through these steps, I begin to feel at peace with both going and staying!
    Thank you again, Jeannette. I always say it–you are worth your weight in gold!
    🙂 Kim

  • Mmm, Janette – fear of scarcity! That creeps in for a lot of us, I think! Fear of it, belief in it .. it sure can ruin a good time, huh? lol
    Thanks for posting, girlfriend. You’re always a pleasure to catch up with!

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