They Aren’t Supposed To Get It

Here’s the thing about going for big dreams …

We like to have company and support and approval for big moves in life.

We prefer for our loved ones to cheer us on and encourage our success; to reinforce our choices and agree with our plan.

We want those closest to us to walk the path with us, especially when it’s a heart-pounding fear-inducing journey.

But here’s the other thing …

… those folks whose approval and support we want for making our big dream come true – they probably don’t get it.

They don’t understand what your heart is wired for.

And they aren’t supposed to.

It’s your dream, not theirs.

Some of your loved ones may be evolved enough to understand that your desire for something is reason enough to support you in it.

But lots of others aren’t going to see it that way. They’ll caution you instead of encourage you. They’ll point out the pitfalls and blind spots instead of rejoicing in your possibilities and potential success.

Because they don’t hear the same whispers from Source that you hear. They don’t feel the same pull that you feel.

And that’s okay.

Your dream isn’t in their vortex, so they probably think they’re doing you a kindness when they try to dissuade you from it.

That’s why it’s important that you not require their support or approval.

Yes, it’s nice when someone else joins in to add to our vibrational momentum. It’s empowering when friends and family are excited for what we’re up to.

But when that support isn’t there, don’t let it halt your progress or give up on your dream.

Your own inner guidance (or higher self, essential self, inner wisdom, whatever you want to call it) – that’s the only approval you want to check for.

Listen to those whispers of joy that call you forth. Honor the inner nudges that are fueled by your favorite fantasies. Say yes to the inspired actions that steer you toward your dream.

Even when no one else gets it.

Because your dream is specific to you. It doesn’t speak to anyone else. Only you can hear it calling you forth.

So it’s okay when no one else understands.

They aren’t supposed to get it. Don’t let it stop you when they don’t.

PS – that doesn’t mean you have to go it alone. Coaches come in real handy at times like this. So if you’re in the mood for some professional support to make the dream happen, give yourself the gift of a coach. And for those of you who think you can’t afford it, think again.

  • April 23, 2016
  • Christina says:

    I feel weird sometimes because I want others to support my grand ideas but when my son, for example, has a grand idea I’m the one who seems to want to rain on his parade.
    How can I best encourage him in his own grand ideas even if I don’t understand them?

    • Stephen says:

      Sometimes I find it helpful to remember there are no mistakes, only discoveries.

      • Elle says:

        Yes, Stephen, that is true and how the Universe looks at it, but people will ask about the lost time and time wasted. I had trouble with this and would fear their reactions until I decided to just move forward in confidence and noticed that nobody asks questions. They only asked when I was afraid of them asking and embarrassed about stuff I did or did not do. When I embraced the past, and told another story, that’s when my reality changed. So, fear or embarrassment is not in the vortex, so to speak.

    • Elle says:

      My mom was like this and it was such a downer. It was hard growing up like that and I have bad memories of it. Moms need to back off and encourage dreams and not get in the way of the growth of their children. How else can children be confident in themselves and go forward with their life. You don’t want your son to go through life constantly doubting himself. that is no way to live, I know.
      I wouls suggest to you how I wish my mom would have handled it. Since you are a parent, have the kid know you will always love him and be there for him no matter what. He needs to know this. That’s pretty much it and I’ll also add to encourage pursuits for he needs to figure stuff out on his own for himself. Life is about building with confidence that things will be ok. Just my two cents that would have helped me, but I learned this as a young adult.

    • Jeannette says:

      “How can I best encourage him in his own grand ideas even if I don’t understand them?” I just love that you’re asking this question, Christina!
      And I love how Abraham says that the best gift we can give another is to vision their success/happiness/thriving. That probably has more power than we realize. 🙂

  • Fen says:

    And what about coaches and conscious createy people who don’t get me either, can I ignore those too? ;p

    • anonymous says:

      Yes, follow your inner knowing! I had trouble with this too for a long time. As well intended and spiritually evolved as others seem to be, you still know yourself and what you desire best. You are the captain of your life! If it feels good, your inner being resonates with what’s being said. If it doesn’t, your inner being is in disagreement…regardless of who is speaking. So trust yourself and your feelings above others’ opinions, even if they are recognized teachers and coaches. I learned this the hard way, but now I know and feel so much better!

  • Janette says:

    When my big dreams first emerge into awareness, they’re like newborns. They’re tender and fragile, and easily startled.
    To begin with, I’m going to be extremely careful about who I give my newborn to. Other people, though well-meaning, can be clumsy or too bouncy or just hold the newborn the wrong way.
    As I nurture my dream, it grows and becomes more and more robust. Bit by bit, I allow those who can be trusted with an infant to share in the nurturing.
    One day the dream is a healthy, bouncy toddler who can’t be contained, whose energy and enthusiasm bubbles over so no matter what the naysayers say, she just keeps playing her way.
    That’s why I have “ninja” in my business name. Because secrecy in the early days of a dream is my preferred approach.

    • Jeannette says:

      I couldn’t have described it better. Love the newborn analogy, Janette, and I’m with you about the power of keeping it under wraps until it feels good to share. 🙂

  • Stephen says:

    Wayne Dyer used to say something along the lines of (paraphrase): Be immune to the good opinion of others. Something like that. What I take from that is to either share with no expectation, or don’t share at all. If your dream is so fragile as to be damaged by someone else’s opinion, probably best to keep it to yourself until it can strengthen some.
    And you can always remind yourself, “Ahh Muggles. Most of them mean well. There just sadly misinformed.”

  • Karen says:

    This is excellent advice for dealing with those you love whose vision for you doesn’t extend as far as your own might. I wonder if it also works for the situation I sometimes experience: I have loved ones whose enthusiasm will blow past my own dreams and mid-range plans (the magic size that’s a bit bigger than you easily buy into, but not as big as the epic ones) and add on ‘bigger’ extensions that often aren’t quite what I want, or add on riders that I’m not yet in alignment with. They mean so well… and their enthusiasm frequently leaves me feeling vaguely diminished, and subsequently resentful, or dilutes my own sense of where I want to be going in the longer term, or what those mid-range goals lead me to take on next. I need to find a way to dance with that — for me it’s a bigger challenge than dealing with simple naysayers. Should I just be not bringing my plans up? Any thoughts?

    • Jeannette says:

      You know, Karen, I think that’s exactly why so many spiritual teachers suggest keeping your dreams to yourself until they’re sufficiently strong to stand on their own.
      I would definitely say that it’s wise to notice your response when others chime in, and take that as a hint from your own inner guidance about what serves you and what doesn’t.
      Yay for self-awareness! And for being able to call our own shots. 🙂

  • Annette says:

    As always, good sharing! It IS hard to let go of that desire to persuade others, especially when they’re close to you. In the past, I thought it was that I hadn’t explained it well enough. But now, when someone doesn’t get it and I feel that cringe twinge, I ask myself why I feel that way. What is it I am not giving myself?
    Normally it’s something easy to define and remedy!
    And I like Namaste’s figures 🙂

  • Michael says:

    Dear Jeannette,
    You say a lot in a little! Michael 🙂

  • anonymous says:

    This post is a great reminder 🙂 It’s easy to feel pessimistic when people we love tell us that our dreams are unattainable. But in a way, this is a good thing – we learn to keep focus on how we feel instead of relying on others’ approval for validation. It can be very difficult, because many of us are trained from a young age to focus on this approval. We can learn to do something different though, and empower ourselves! I’ve been a people pleaser nearly my entire life, and I’m ready to stop giving a damn about making people happy while I feel bad in the process.
    My issue is that I haven’t been feeling very inspired to take the actions I think I need to for reaching my dream. I remind myself that the Universe knows what I want, and perhaps it has a different way of getting these things that is much easier and more fun. So I’m letting myself off the hook, after months and years of forcing action, keeping it up for a while, and then running out of steam. I guess I just need to focus on cultivating the feelings my dreams feel like, and then follow what feels fun!

  • Namaste says:

    Years ago, a guy I consider to be a mentor pointed out an interesting fact to me. He posed the question, “How many people do you really have time to allow into your life in depth?” Since he was a well known leader and tens of thousands of people enjoyed his company, he’d thought about this a lot. In the end, he’d determined that with there was really only room for 12 people. I thought about this and realized he’s on to something. Maintaining relationships involves time and it takes a lot of time to really keep up-to-date with 12 people. I’m not talking about casual friends here, you can up that number to 25 or 30. I’m talking about really close friends. People who you spend real time with, call on their birthdays, exchange gifts with, celebrate their successes and you’re there for through their failures.
    After pondering this fact years ago, I’ve become very selective about the 12’ish people I spend real time with. I use to tolerate people who didn’t support my dreams a 100%, I don’t anymore. I don’t care if they don’t understand my dreams (my subjective reality worldview is very different from most), however a line is crossed when they don’t support me striving for them. I’m always open to constructive criticism (I value it) but there’s a difference between constructive criticism and not believing in me and what I’m about.
    In early 2015, I had to drop a long-term friend who I honestly thought we’d be super close friends for life. While it’s not easy to say goodbye, I have found it really is worth it. Letting him go cut out the only source of disempowering conversations I had with people in my life. So worth it! There are literally BILLIONS of people on this planet you can be friends with. That means there are at least a 12 who will be behind you a 100% =)

    • Brian says:

      “I don’t care if they don’t understand my dreams… however a line is crossed when they don’t support me striving for them.”
      I like the distinction between understanding your dreams and supporting you.
      They don’t need to understand your specific dreams, but you do appreciate them supporting you as a person following your dreams.

      • Namaste says:

        Glad you like the distinction. I picked it up when I was involved in direct sales many years ago. I’ll always appreciate those early mentors of mine, drilling into me, the importance of surrounding myself with people who support me pursuing my dreams =)

    • Jeannette says:

      That’s a powerful practice to be that deliberate about who’s in and who isn’t. Thanks for sharing, Namaste. 🙂

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