“Things Should Be Different”

Any of these sound familiar?

  • Success shouldn’t be this hard to come by;
  • spouses shouldn’t cheat;
  • big companies shouldn’t be allowed to spoil the planet;
  • or my own recent favorite: there’s no way I should be wearing size 12 jeans.

Even in deliberate creator circles, it’s not unusual to hear sentiments like these about how things should be different.

The vibrational signal we send with those thoughts instructs Universe to ensure things are not how we want them to be. Because we’re instructingΒ things should be different than they are. As in, not how we want it.

Law of attraction dictates that Universe has to match the vibrational quality of our thoughts. As long as we feel resistance to how things are, it has to give us more of the same. I know you all know this: Universe isn’t listening for your “yeses” and “nos” – it’s simply answering what you’ve got your attention on.

So if you’re dialed on it, you’re getting it. Even if the reason you’re dialed on it is because you’re noticing this is not how things are supposed to be.

Which means a powerful creator would send a new signal. A signal that says things are great and getting better.

… Β Or at least not that bad. Right?

And that means we would do well to start making peace with how things are.

Not just because that’s the only way things can ever change (I know how paradoxical that sounds, but it’s true), but also because it’s more enjoyable to get through the day with acceptance and appreciation rather than resistance and judgment.

So how to do that when the “things should be different” thought is so stubborn?

LOA 101: find a thought that feels better.

Here’s my contribution:

Who in their right mind could possibly think these beautiful butts should be any different than they are?! They’re works of art!

And almost every one of them is bigger than size 12.

Let the appreciation begin! Β πŸ™‚

  • November 8, 2010
  • Brian says:

    Oh yes, I missed this one until today when I could make the best use of it.
    I had a great time with someone knowing it had to end. When it ended I just went through a day long mourning period. Nothing dramatic, just feeling and letting go. But the letting go was somewhat stuck. Then I read this, did I have a should stuck in my mind? Perhaps. So I appreciated the incredible times that I just experienced and used that perspective instead of things should have been the way they were. It works.
    And it’s back to the vortex again. Drum roll and rim shot please.

  • Sabine says:

    How timely for me this post is!! I was just in a ‘dump’ yesterday and today wishing a couple things in my life would be different already, one being desiring to have a great relationship. After this reminder to accept the Now and appreciate what’s good about being with Myself, I feel better already – thank you Jeanette πŸ™‚

  • Barbara says:

    I’ve got that song in my head now, too! Ha ha!
    I believe I’ve pretty much eliminated the word “should” from my everyday vocabulary and more importantly, from my feelings. πŸ™‚ That’s where it sticks–vibrationally, that is. “Shoulds” feel like “judgments”–like “right vs. wrong” and we all know the world is not just black and white, but multi-colored!
    So whenever I hear someone say “They SHOULD…” I notice it and appreciate the fact that I’m rarely using that word (or conjuring up that feeling) these days.
    And you know what? My life is getting better and better each day! Woo hoo!
    P.S. And I’m feeling good about my big butt, too! LOL

  • This is so fantastic and yet so simple. Simply go for the “better feeling thoughts”. I learnt this lesson from Abraham, but it just makes feeling and choosing your emotions so much easier.
    One of the ways which I find a better feeling place is to do some visualisation in the morning, just as soon as I wake up. Whether its doing some meditation, looking at my ditigal vision board (my Mind Movie) with all my dreams and aspirations, it all helps in making me feel good about myself at that point in time and is a great way to start the day.
    Thanks for the post!

  • There are SO many things I want to say about this post, including that I absolutely love that picture because that is *definitely* how I feel when I push against things that are not like the way I want them. But what also just came to mind is, “What feelings are you avoiding by pushing against things or wishing they were a different way?”
    For example, if you’re pushing against your single status, or heavier than you want status, are you avoiding certain feelings by pushing against it? What if you stopped trying to control those things or change them, and instead just sunk into the feelings that you were avoiding in the first place? Really feel what it feels like to be single, or to have to wear a larger size than you want, etc. And of course, by making peace with those feelings you’re actually making peace with the situation as a whole, which just allows things to change or shift in the direction you are wanting!
    And that is super cool. πŸ˜‰

  • Tammy says:

    Oops, did not mean to be anonymous.

  • Anonymous says:

    I do not see any butts? Nuts I missed the butts!

  • Couldn’t have said it better, Angela.
    (And I had an ex-fiance who used to say that, too. It took me a while to appreciate the power of the sentiment.)

  • Hi Jeanette,
    So true!
    One of my old bosses always used to say, “It is what it is,” and I never really got it – until very recently.
    We have to accept what is and keep moving forward. Going back over the past, or wishing things were different gets you no where – especially in light of understanding how the Universe works with our thoughts, it literally “gets you no where!”

  • NANCY!! Nice catch.
    Kind of makes you want to say lighten up about shoulding on ourselves, huh? lol
    And point well taken. πŸ™‚

  • WAIT. * _ *
    Are you saying…We SHOULDN’T be SHOULDing?!?
    That brings to mind: “When you know what you don’t want, you more fully know what you DO want!” ~Abraham
    No matter what shows up, we have a choice to see it’s all good news. We either like it…OR…we have an opportunity to identify what we like even more. When I decide to see what’s *wrong* as a blessing, it always morphs into one!
    Many *blessings*,

  • Bottoms up! This is great! Let’s love on ourselves and start LIVING- not waiting for butt perfection.

  • Maria Lesetz says:

    Amen to that, Anna! Cause that “shoulding on ourselves” can get very messy! πŸ™‚

  • Anna says:

    May we ALL quit shoulding on ourselves – for good!

  • Beautiful example of practicing non-attachment and right focus, Maria. What I love about you is how effortlessly you do that in terms of health – although, as I type that, I realize that wasn’t always the case, was it? You practiced your way into that habit, right?
    PS – I think I googled “curvy butts” and even wrote Russ about my fun visual research for this post. hee hee

  • Maria Lesetz says:

    P.S. Where did you find that picture of those butts with their sizes? You post the greatest images!

  • Maria Lesetz says:

    Ahhh … Jeannette … the infamous lesson of “making peace with where we are at”! Love this post and I agree with the others that those butts are perfect just the way they are. And anyway, who says that we have to be a certain size or look a certain way — where do those RULES come from? Don’t we decide what our rules are to live a happy and healthy life?
    A year ago when I put on some summer shorts, they were a bit tight and instead of getting all bent out of shape about it, I reminded myself that it was no big deal and I put my attention on what was healthy about my body and all the other things I loved about my life. I focused on what IS WORKING and what I do love and forgot about those darn shorts. I just tucked them away in my closet. And then a couple of weeks later I was inspired to go that same closet and try those shorts on (I was in a ROCKIN’ mood when I did that!) and guess what … the shorts fit better! No surprise to me – cause I made it “no big deal”, detached from the outcome and when I tried them on again I was coming from a place of “whatever” and they were perfect. I still wear them to this day.
    It sure is all about our mindset and what we choose to focus on and tell ourselves. And making peace with a life situation is one of the major keys to attracting anything and everything we want in our lives.
    I personally find some areas of my life easier to make peace with than others, but hey, I am a work in progress! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

  • Oh, THAT Nicole!!
    Pleasure to have you joining us in this dialogue, Nicole!!
    Thanks for dropping in, and thanks, Kim, for the introduction!

  • Kim Falconer says:

    Nicole! I love seeing you here! Everyone, this is Nicole Murphy (right above Zoe on the comments). She’s a fellow Voyager author of a fab new series! (and now we have 3 Aussies in a row, Nicole, Zoe and Moi!) That just makes me smile! πŸ™‚

  • Zoe, I noticed that!! An X-Large in one country is a large in another. That’s arbitrary indeed. Even among different labels there can be big differences.
    Thanks for pointing that out!! Just made up numbers.
    Loving your reminder to dial in on the FEELING rather than the result. You rock!

  • Zoe Routh says:

    WHat I like to remember about this is how arbitrary the numbers are – size 12 is a different size in Australia, and in the UK it’s size 40 something! We get so attached to the numbers (jean size, business income and profit, # of subscribers) we lose track of the FEELING we want – pride, joy, freedom, ease. Now that feels better than kazillion this and minus ten that.

  • Nicole, I find an easy thread to pick up is gratitude & appreciation. Finding something that IS right (that’s easy to see as “right” anyway).
    What’s right in my world right now? YouTube found for me very easily the theme song to Justified. The kitties are sleeping peacefully. I’ve got a great frozen dinner in the fridge.
    See? Easy. πŸ™‚
    Once I dial in on the easy to appreciate stuff, I’m better positioned for seeing it on the not-so-easy stuff.
    (It’s ridiculous how much I like this song with words that don’t sound so positive! Maybe because I associate it with the hottie in the tv show. HOT!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xy09F1cUIrA

  • Ryan Biddulph says:

    Hi Jeannette,
    Had a few moments of “things should be different”-type thinking this morning. I got up, walked around for a few minutes and realized how blessed I am. It’s funny how choosing new thoughts changes your life πŸ™‚
    Thanks for sharing!

  • Nicole says:

    This is great – I’ve been feeling quite miserable lately, really caught up in the wanting life to be the way it should be and losing acceptance of the way things are. Not sure how to regain the acceptance but will work on it.

  • Yay for not putting it off till tomorrow, Nancy!!
    I find a lot of us do that – we run across a good-sounding idea, and intend to implement it “later” or when it’s convenient or after we’ve thought it through some more.
    I like your style, Nancy! πŸ™‚

  • Nancy says:

    thanks for the reminder. I’ve been working lots of hours, and busyworking lots of hours, always feeling the same anxiousness and not having good results. Today, to shake that up, I’m taking the day off. Not looking for new clients. Enjoying what’s around me. In your language – reaching for a better feeling by enjoying the choice of working only part-time. Then, I open my emails and a contact from the summer asked to call her.

  • And Kim, I love how consistent they are in dismissing “shoulds”! Very inspiring!
    I like the suggestion to drop the “because” and recognizing Saturn’s influence in the shoulds makes it feel not just more possible but even more fun to drop it!
    Thanks for adding your voice to this topic, Girlfriend!

  • Kim Falconer says:

    This is wonderful, Jeannette! Thank you πŸ™‚
    You know how the witches at Treeon Temple respond to a ‘should’! (they basically laugh and say, ‘Really? It ‘should’ be . . .?’
    It’s easy to fall back into the cultural conditioning of ‘should mentality’ when that word was used so much on us as children. ‘You should know better’ comes mind, along with about a 1000 others!
    I get the feeling the core of the ‘should’ energy is parental. Not to assign blame to mum and dad, but to identify the ‘mini-source’ of the energy. The parental voice, or sub-personality/gremlin/inner Saturn, is the one talking when we say ‘should’ to ourselves. It’s instruction, demanding. Judgmental. And often we still feel the need to justify ourselves to the parent when turning the vibe around. What I mean is, we still use the words ‘this is great ‘because’. . . . Instead of ‘This IS great!’
    ‘Because’ might be a red flag that the words have changed but the vibe is the same. If we have to bolster our statements with reasons, we aren’t really feeling the joy.
    If a child is happy, she smiles. There is no need for explanation. That’s pure alignment. The closer we get to that feeling, the freer the energy flow. Like Toemass said, You don’t get what you want, you get what you are…… Find a thought that feels better, yes! And, find one that has no props. This is better, not this is better because . . .
    It’s subtle. Try it! πŸ™‚

  • Oh my, MissyB – when you bring that gift to yourself as well you will have discovered a gold mine of alignment!
    As Tia would say, woot woot! πŸ™‚

  • MissyB says:

    Oh my ! I’ve loads of shoulds…but they are all mine. I should know better, I shouldn’t have eaten that, I shouldn’t have said that, I should have spent the money on this, not that.
    I fear I’ve found acceptance for how the world and people are…and overlooked acceptance of myself.
    Thank you GVG.

  • Agreed, Ryan. Doesn’t take much effort to find a more agreeable perspective – all we “need” to do (ha!) is remember to. lol
    Thanks for sharing this link online, my friend. πŸ™‚

  • Yay for unconventional parenting, Toemaas!
    I know for a lot of parents that’s taking a leap of faith to surrender control (however absurd the idea is that they CAN control their kids!) but I also love the reward you saw unfold so quickly from it.
    Well, I guess the true reward is the alignment, not the results, but you know what I mean.
    Loved this: “Kids just need aligned parents……then things shouldn’t be different because all is well.” Thanks for that, Toemaas!

  • Toemaas says:

    How about…….my son should do his homework and turn it in!!! Had this situation recently and both his mom and I where stuck in the conventional parenting of taking privileges away (because that worked so well for our parents). It dawned on me, more like a brick falling on top of my head, that I needed to get into aligned parenting. You don’t get what you want, you get what you are……and as parents we were out of alignment.
    Luckily, his mom is a pretty tapped in woman and she was on board. We make sure we are in alignment when we talk to him about school and the dialogue is so easy, he is in resonance with us, and work gets done and turned in, he is jazzed to tell me about getting extra credit for work that he is doing, and he is a different kid. Aligned, himself to the extent, that he asked me this weekend if I had “what the bleep” and “the secret” which prompted a whole discussion about “good energy” (his words) and being in the flow.
    Oh, and he just started cleaning his room and doing stuff around the house without being asked. Then it dawned on me, by us being in alignment, it made it much easier for him to be in alignment for what is right for him and viola’. Things just are different.
    I often hear people say, kids just need structure. Kids just need aligned parents……then things shouldn’t be different because all is well. Love when my teenage sons provide with reminders and lessons!!
    Can’t wait to see what comes this weekend!

  • Tia, the radio/Universe actually played that song for me as I was thinking about this topic! ha
    “Peace with the flux” – that DOES deserve a woot woot!!
    Thanks for chiming in, Tia πŸ™‚

  • I like big butts and I cannot lie! Great, now I’ve got that song in my mind πŸ˜›
    I like where you’re taking us though, so … I’m at peace with where I am creatively and professionally, knowing that it is exactly where I am meant to be. Peace with where I am physically, location and apartment and country-wise, peace with the flux around me, with the clarity that is so close and with everything being right outside my door in my vortex instead of wondering when it’s gonna come in.
    Cos all this gives me time to prepare mentally and spiritually for the changes about to happen real soon. Woot wooty woot!

  • Pernille Madsen says:

    Those are indeed beautiful butts!!!
    I’m not very often hung up on the “things should be different”. I mostly find it quite easy to accept things as they are (after years of practice!!!). And then focus on how I would like them to be different.
    However, I do have a few things that I’m not totally at peace with yet. I love the simplicity of your LOA 101: “finding a thought that feels better”.
    This one felt as if it was meant for me: “a powerful creator would send a new signal. A signal that says things are great and getting better.”
    So here is my contribtution:
    I’m grateful our house still hasn’t sold after 4 months on the market. It has given us and continues to give us the opportunity to declutter, tidy up and upgrade this place and really f e e l the difference it makes!

  • Yes, Pernille, big difference between “should be different” and “like to be different.” When we come from a place of resistance nothing can change.
    Which can be rather frustrating, because if we’re in appreciation it’s not something we really NEED to see change.
    Which is when it changes best. For the better!
    Thanks for sharing your example of how practice makes the easier to get a handle on.

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