Time for a Reality Check?
When I found out one of my favorite ex-fiances was moving out of his ex-fiance’s house last weekend, I offered to help out however I could.
(He’d done the same for me ten years ago when my last engagement came to an abrupt end, so I was happy to return the favor. Plus he’s a great guy, so it was a good excuse to hang out again.)
Yesterday as we spent several hours washing walls and sanding cupboards in his new place, it led to conversations we haven’t had before.
One of those conversations was how he answers other people’s question about why we aren’t together.
Apparently he’s been telling people (because he genuinely believes) that the reason we didn’t marry is because I chose cats over him.
(He’s allergic and I didn’t give up my two cats when we moved in together.)
I could hardly believe that’s the story he not only tells, but also believes. ?!
“Boy, that’s not how I remember it,” I said.
He asked what my version was, which went something like:
The day he spent the last of my savings on lunch with his secretary, I told him that although I would buy the lunch he shared with his mom the day before, but I would not buy his secretary’s lunch. He could pay me that money back.
That’s when he opened his wallet and started flipping bills in the air saying, “Is this what you want?”
It would be an understatement to say this scene was a turning point in our relationship. In that moment I marveled at how he suddenly had money, while at the same time launching a swing at him.
Several hours and broken items later, most of my belongings were strewn across the front lawn. Of the house I was paying for.
That’s how I remember the end of our engagement.
But he really thought it was the cats. In fact, he doesn’t even remember a conversation about lunches with secretaries.
(Although we both remember the knock-down drag-out fight I started.)
The reason I share this somewhat entertaining story is that it proved to me once again how malleable “reality” is.
What is the truth? And how could we ever claim to know it when perspectives vary so dramatically?
Last year I wrote about the power of purposely choosing better feeling perspectives after being inspired by Wicked.
This ability we have of telling our own version of what went down can actually be leveraged into more powerful manifesting.
As we learn to consciously adopt a perspective that lines us up with what we want and how we want to feel, we deliberately manage the energy that leads to what happens next.
On the way home a big truck cut me off in traffic, and I thought, “Well, if you can go faster than me, more power to you.” And he did (go faster than me) and I gave him a thumbs up. I’m fine with that.
That’s a very different perspective than when I used to think something like, “Who do you think you are?” and feeling indignant that he thinks he’s more important or in a bigger hurry than the rest of us.
So, I like my ex’s version of our breakup more than mine. Yep, I’m a woman whose true love and devotion to animals wouldn’t be trumped by some fleeting romance. hee hee I know that story wouldn’t work for everyone, but it makes me giggle.
(And giggling is a sign of downstream movement, you know.)
In fact, I almost like the part where my ex-fiance “reminded” me (as if it happened – which I doubt) of the time he showed up to give me a ride home and found me making out with some guy in the parking lot.
Now that’s incredibly unlikey to have happened for at least a dozen different reasons (I think he’s getting me mixed up with a different girlfriend), but still … I kind of like the thought that I wasn’t a hapless girl sitting at home while he wined and dined co-workers at Subway on my dime. Rather, I was out having my share of fun, too.
The discrepancies in our recalled histories are hilarious, considering it was a shared history. To whatever extent I can find room for improvement on the version I tell, that leads to better vibrations which brings in more good stuff in the present day.
Because you know there are some situations where our version of the story is keeping us from vibrational alignment to what we want.
So if you’ve got a story that isn’t serving you, my suggestion is to switch it up.
I mean, look how easy it is! Stand in someone else’s shoes, and give it a try from their perspective. If you don’t like that angle, find another one.
Because we each decide what’s true and real based on what we attend to. Let’s use that power for good, huh?