Transforming Tolerations: Brian’s Tutorial

Can I just say how much I love this community? In response to comments on the Plus 8 Upgrade post, Brian Freedman was kind enough to prepare this tutorial on transforming tolerations

Transforming Tolerations: How to Love ChoresSplit energy: Doing one thing while thinking you should be doing something else (or wanting to do something else). Basically, a push-pull between two or more decisions.

When your energy is going in two directions, that is when your energy splits from one focused direction into two opposing directions, which is why it’s called “split” energy.

You want your energy focused in one direction. 

Split energy is when your thoughts are on one action, but you’re doing something else.

You’re not present to what you are doing now. You’re focused on what you should or need to do (the future) or what you think you should’ve done differently (the past).

For example, “I really want to relax, but I should be doing the dishes.”

You want to relax, but you’re focused on something you don’t want to do that you think you need to do. So, you just kind of sit there, not relaxing and not doing the dishes – splitting your energy.

It’s better to line up your energy. So you either line up with relaxing, and soothe yourself that you will do the dishes later. Or do the dishes now and relax later.

Don’t do the dishes when you want to relax, and then even though you’re doing the dishes, you’re still thinking about not liking this and wishing you were relaxing instead.

That’s splitting your energy, because you’re focused on something else than what you are currently doing and judging and offering resistance to your current action, conditions and what-is.

Here is an Abraham quote from San Diego, CA, January 2016:

Line up with it, before you do it.

If you’re gonna do it, line up with it.
If you’re not gonna do it, line up with not doing it.

But don’t decide to do it, and not line up with it.
And don’t decide not to do it, and not line up with it.

Because, you split your energy.

So, if you want to, or rather, feel it’s important to do the dishes, then make peace with it and focus on the positive aspects.

I’m not suggesting you necessarily feel happy, orgasms and joy about doing the dishes. Ha!

You just want to at least be comfortable with (no longer pushing against) cleaning dishes.

Focus on what you appreciate about it and the value it brings.

Here is a Doing the Dishes rampage:

I like having clean dishes. I like having a clean kitchen. I like having a clean and comfortable living space. I like feeling pride in what I do. I take pride in taking care of myself and my family. And I like knowing that when I need a bowl, or a plate, or a spoon or a fork, it’s there for me because it’s clean. I like having clean dishes to eat off of. I would rather eat off a clean dish than a dirty dish.

Having clean dishes really adds to the whole pleasurable experience of eating.

And you know, maybe I don’t have to do all the dishes. Wouldn’t it be nice if my partner and/or children cleaned some? My partner does do the dishes sometimes. Sure, it may only be occasionally, but it does help, and I do appreciate it.

I can allow myself the freedom and relief to do dishes at my own pace. I don’t have to do them all at once. I can do the dishes at a pace that I am comfortable with. I like that. I like feeling comfortable and relaxed when I’m doing the dishes. 🙂

I make too much of this. It’s easier than I’m making it out to be, and there are a lot of positive aspects about doing the dishes that I have started giving my attention to. And it feels better to focus on the positive aspects than it does to focus on the negative aspects.

Focus on thoughts like that for a couple of minutes to get in alignment and raise your vibration on the subject.

You have aligned your energy, and now cleaning dishes (or whatever task you were not wanting to do before) has more ease in it, making it more appealing, which flows into all other areas of your life as well.

Just Get Aligned.
Brian Freedman guides people to align their feelings and beliefs with themselves and others (noting that the relationship you have with others is a mirror reflection of the relationship you have with yourself). He establishes the connection between the thoughts you think and the emotions you feel—focusing on enhancing your emotional awareness—helping you to feel better.

  • March 23, 2016
  • Shan says:

    This is great – and gives such peace. Also helps to put things in perspective. It reminds me of something I have used with classes on building confidence – hold these 2 thoughts simulataneously: ‘I am unique’ and ‘I am a tiny speck on the surface of the universe’. I find this also helps not to over-think things. Thank you so much

  • Namaste says:

    Love how this post confirmed that I was making the right decision to fix my split energy on a project I’m working on, instead of getting impatient and jumping into action.
    Great post, thanks Brian. And thanks for thinking to post this Jeannette =)

  • Elle says:

    Thank you so much for this! This explains why we don’t move for some things, i.e. Why regrets really do hold us back.
    How can we use this to get and maintain good health? I know being happy anyway, as Abe often say, is best and is a great way to maintain health. But sometimes we fall off the rocker, focus on negativity and bam, get hit with illness because we’ve become prone to it. Maybe stating ‘I am at peace’ is a good middle ground, like Jeanette once used.

    • Brian says:

      Hey Elle,

      How can we use this to get and maintain good health?
      Focus on what you want and why you want it. Why do you want to be healthy?

      What good feelings do you want to feel? What does being healthy feel like? 

      For example, “I want to feel good. I want to feel strong. I want to feel vitality. I want to feel energized. I want to feel beautiful. I want to feel sexy. I want to feel freedom. I want to feel the ease and comfort of my body working well. I want to feel Well-Being. I love feeling Well-Being with my body.”

      • Elle says:

        Brian, this is great, thank you!
        I will also try using this technique to stop complaining. I’ve noticed I’ve been doing a lot of that lately and it feels horrible to me and I even got sick doing it. I cannot even fathom how others do not get ill from complaining too much, as people do about everything, but this is not my business or affair. I mean, rarely are there legitimate complaints that put people’s lives at stake. I hear about those too, but more so about nuances that should not even exist.
        So, here’s to much less complaining, if not at all. I love my life. Life is good for me. Everything worked out for me. The universe always has my back. I feel good. I feel certain and I know things are ok. Little things do not bother me. People just do not know any better. They think it is ok to park anywhere, but this is not my concern, not my affair. They are not in my reality. I don’t interact with them. They will be gone one day. I am grateful for the roof over my head. It is nice and cozy in an area I know well. I did not have to look to find this place, it was sent by the universe directly to me. The universe always helps me out, not only in my time of need but always. It’s always been that way. There is no need to complain. It’s all good. They are just trying. Too hard sometimes. But it’s all good. Things go smoothly for me. I am appreciative. And so it is.

  • Marieke says:

    Split energy, definitely one of my pitfalls. Thanks for sharing this, I needed to hear this! I like how LOA connects to mindfulness. I remember a passage in a Thich Nhat Hanh book where he writes about doing dishes mindfully: how could you not like the the sensation of your hands in the warm soapy water? Very relaxing and peaceful if done mindfully!

  • Lindsay says:

    I love this so much and this is exactly what I needed to read today. My big project right now is finishing a book that I’m writing, and I’ve found that if I start writing/editing as soon as I get up (before I have time to overthink everything) it’s easier. If I wait around (like I did today) I procrastinate, and think about how I’m procrastinating, and feel guilty about procrastinating, and can’t enjoy my day or stay the moment with my husband and son. I think I’m just going to let it go today and write more tomorrow morning.

    • Brian says:

      Hey Lindsay,
      … I procrastinate, and think about how I’m procrastinating, and feel guilty about procrastinating…”
      You know, you don’t have to judge yourself for procrastinating.

      I mean, you’re certainly welcome to. But not doing something you’re not quite in alignment with is not a reason to be mean to yourself.

      And that’s all guilt really is: you using your behavior, or lack of behavior, as your reason to compare yourself to perfection, show yourself you’ve fallen short, and now you feel justified in making yourself feel bad for your “bad” behavior.
      You’re too beautiful and wonderful and worthy and smart and magnificent to do that to yourself.
      Give yourself the benefit of the doubt. It’s okay. Every time you expereince what you don’t want, it’s just contrast helping bring you clarity. And then, you do a little better the next day, coming into more alignment with who-you-really-are and what you want. That’s all.
      So, be easier with yourself. And be lighter about experiencing contrast.

      Here are two Abraham quotes about procrastination:

      “When you feel enthusiasm to do something, it means you’ve lined up the energy, and you are being inspired to take action from that point of alignment.

      When you don’t feel like doing it, don’t push yourself, because your effort is not worth it.

      But, when you line up the energy, the feeling of procrastination goes away.”

      – Abraham, San Rafael, CA, July 31, 2005

      “Procrastination is the wisdom not to force anything you’re not vibrationally ready for.”

  • Jiya says:

    I am a big fan of Brian’s articles and replies on PI. Brian, the dishes rampage is just awesome. I am looking at my uncleaned, used dishes with love… aha!!
    Thank you.

  • Dani says:

    “Line up with it, before you do it”
    I think I need to put this into practice. Great article

    • Jeannette says:

      Those words from Abe are often ringing in my ear, too, Dani. It doesn’t matter what we DO, it only matters how we FEEL.
      That changes everything, doesn’t it?!
      Thanks for reading and for chiming in with thoughts, Dani. 🙂

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