Values: Quick Ticket to Raising the Vibe
We all know we get what we vibrate, so the quick & easy way to get what we want is to vibrate it now.
We also know vibrating it before it’s happened (whatever “it” is) is easier said than done.
Those of you who have worked with me know I believe a quick ticket to creating that vibrational alignment is living your values.
What do I mean by that? Living your values means knowing what’s most important to you and honoring it daily.
Values are what you hold dear in life, serving as a compass pointing out what it means to be true to yourself. When you live your values, you feel more YOU. You could say honoring your values is when you are your BEST self.
In fact, Laura Whitworth said in her book, Co-Active Coaching, that “making decisions based on our top values will always, repeat always, lead to more fulfillment.”
I call that the sweet spot – when we’ve oriented our life around what best offers us satisfaction and fulfillment. By doing so our vibration automatically goes UP, putting us in very nice alignment with all our highest goals, dreams and desires.
For that reason, knowing what your values are so you can honor them in your daily life is crucial.
Do you know your core values? Do you know what makes you YOU?
In order to live and honor what’s most important to you, you need to know what that is for you. Most coaches say we each have between six and twelve core values.
Here’s one method to identify your core values:
Think of an out of the ordinary recent peak moment in your life, something especially rewarding or poignant. As you recall this moment, ask what was present that made this such a fulfilling time. Your answers are clues to your core values.
You can also look at the opposite extreme, exploring a time when you were particularly angry, upset or thwarted in some way. In recalling this moment in time, ask what was missing that made it such a negative experience.
Example: last week Russ hired gardeners to weed and prune the yard.
(Those of you who read my Good News posts know that this was a hot spot for the two of us, as I didn’t think the yard needed cutting back. When we realized we didn’t see eye to eye on this issue, my sweetie said “I’m telling you how it’s gonna be” which didn’t sit well with me. In fact, that experience itself was an indication my ‘independence’ and ‘freedom’ values were feeling trampled on.)
Anyway, after the workers were done I surveyed the yard in tears. It seemed like everything had been chopped back next to nothing. I’ll refrain from elaborating, but I was gutted to survey the results.
To have such a strong emotional response is a clue that one of my core values was missing or violated. I didn’t realize it until I heard myself explain to Russ why I was so upset: “it’s as if nothing’s allowed to grow here.”
Ahh, Growth. One of my core values.
Now a guy who doesn’t understand anything about values might thinks he’s just got an overly emotional or moody girlfriend. And it would be easy for me to point the finger at my dictatorial boyfriend who completely ignored my wishes and blame him for making me feel so bad.
But I know better.
I felt awful because I stepped out of my sweet spot. And when I know what my sweet spot consists of, I can step back in.
My sweet spot (which is just my core values list) includes:
- Feeling good
- Action (believe it or not)
So the question becomes how can I best honor growth in my life?
I started by being willing to talk to the guy who hired the thugs to massacre the back yard. (That would be my boyfriend, who was already in hot water for “telling me how it’s gonna be.”)
This situation was actually an excellent growth opportunity for us and our relationship. I’m grateful I didn’t miss it.
I also treated the yard to a big dose of Miracle Grow fertilizer. It’s already perking up! Next I brought home a new mama cat with three young babies from Humane Society who needed fostering. All of these actions help me connect to my core value of growth. Which elevates my vibe automatically.
Pretty cool, huh?
In fact, can you also see the potential in knowing the values of those close to you? When you know what trips their trigger, it’s super easy to support their good time.
Which is why we coaches always want to know our clients values – because when we help you steer towards them, you can’t help but feel fabulous!
But you don’t have to have a coach for this work.
- Discover your core values,
- Make a point of staying connected to them in your daily life, and
- Your vibe will automatically rise.
Which is how you get what you want.
Values are kind of like fingerprints – no two are the same and it’s what makes us unique. For that reason, I’d love to hear what your values are if you care to share! Here’s a list from Steve Pavlina’s site you might find helpful.
I won’t be surprised if those of us drawn here together share some of the same values. You know, that “like attracting like” thing and all.