Want It Good or Want It Bad?

good vs badIt’s true that strong desire and strong belief are essential components to swift manifesting, but is it possible for our desire to become so strong it actually holds up the process?

It’s easy to conclude that’s the case, when seeing that things we want the most also seem to be the things that take the longest to arrive. And things we care about the least get here the quickest.

It’s enough to make someone ask wth?!

That may have been my client’s question this weekend when I asked her to get her attention OFF of her desire and focus on something – anything – that felt good instead.

Because her long-held desire was no longer a friendly topic.

Sometimes we get to the point where our desire is infused with a yearning, frustrated or impatient type energy that clouds the picture.

Anyone else not felt that at some point in time? Where you want something SO BAD you’re ready to shoot daggers at the next person who has it? Or you want to wring the neck of the next LOA guru who says all you have to do is allow it in?

I’ve been there. And that’s how I know that feeling that way does not helpIt does not help to want something that bad. Because by the time you get to that state of mind, you’re flowing contrary energy that slows Universe’s delivery of it to a crawl.

This is where it’s helpful to recognize it is possible to hold strong desire for something while still being happy without it. To want something while not needing it to unfold in order to be satisfied. To have a big fat dream way out in front, but at the same time finding complete delight and fulfillment with life as it is now.

That’s what it’s like to want it good. Pure, clean desire; free of doubt, fear, frustration and attachment. It’s the space of enjoying what is, while still having a conscious recognition that what’s coming next will be even more fabulous!

There’s no “pushing against” what is, and very little (if any) time spent noticing it’s not here yet.

Because it doesn’t matter if it comes or not – life is good anyway. There’s no need for it to happen, because we’re not making the realization of the desire conditional upon feeling good. We feel good now!

As shared by Abraham, pure desire feels confident and positive, as in: “I want it, I got it, it’s coming, I know it.”

While yearning sounds like: “I haven’t had it, but I’ve really wanted it, and I’ve done the work, and it hasn’t come yet, but I know it will, I know it will, I know it will, … it hasn’t come yet, I’ve written it down, I’m really getting sick and tired of this, I’ve wanted this my whole life, it’s not fair that he has it …” (One of my all time favorite Abe tracks!)

Wanting something with pure desire feels fresh and light and free and frisky.

When you talk about you get a rush that feels good. When you want something you’ve begun to doubt, it feels like work.

When you feel that “work” feeling creeping in, it’s time to remember to want it good, not want it bad.

My favorite way to redirect when I’m wanting it bad?

Remember that there’s plenty going right already. There’s more to enjoy in this present day reality than I could even count. But I’ll start counting anyway just to prove it to myself: strawberries, cats, Bella Foster artwork, chocolate, Christmas lights, warm purple sweatshirts fresh from the dryer, pink sparkly pens, modern plumbing, nice neighbors … get the idea?

When we combine this genuine and strong appreciation for life as it is right now with the pure desire of what’s caught our fancy next, we’re home free.

  • December 16, 2009
  • Holy hannah, Darliss, that was PERFECT!!!!!
    Thanks for sharing it here – that really sums it up well!
    Here’s to clarity and great examples from wise boyfriends. 🙂

  • My boyfriend has a peaceful aura and my “Witch Doctor”, as I affectionately call my spiritual healer, called him her “Buddhist friend” from the moment they met. I don’t always understand him, but his wisdom, things he just takes for granted, sometimes stuns me with its elegant simplicity.
    Some of you who read this blog know me. For those of you who don’t, I work in a remote location a long way from my home for two weeks at a time and I have found it very challenging at times to be away from my boyfriend and my daughter. Sometimes I get very emotional and miss them terribly. He, on the other hand takes it all in stride and I didn’t understand it.
    Tonight he told me that when he got home from taking me to the airport a few weeks ago he found his mother, who lives with us, in tears because she missed me already. And when he tried to comfort her by saying “She’ll be back in a couple of weeks.” She said to him, “It doesn’t seem like you miss her at all when she is gone.”
    His response was, “I don’t PINE for her because she isn’t gone. She is just displaced. She will be back.”
    When he told me that I clapped my hands and laughed, that genuine laughter that just bubbles up when I hear truth!
    Isn’t that the perfect description of living in the vortex? What we are manifesting isn’t missing. It is just displaced and will appear in perfect time! PINING after it only makes the meantime miserable! Ha ha ha ha
    I’m still laughing with joy and clapping my hands at his wisdom! I have been struggling (and making myself miserable) for several days trying to sort out clarity and focus and trying to figure out how to release the “desperate” feeling that comes when I forget that it is about being, not about doing.
    Now I am clear. I can calmly hold the feeling of knowing, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that what I am manifesting is in that sacred space. It is here. I just can’t see it yet.

  • Thank you so much, Robert and Jeannette, for your very interesting and very funny “private” conversation!
    I haven’t watched Survivor here in Denmark, so I don’t know the persons you mention, but I like it every time I’m reminded that if there is “good” and “bad” there also has to be a judge – and who is going to be the judge? – well not me 😉
    Thanks for the inspiration (and laughter 😉

  • Robert says:

    Ah Jeannette, I love the badinage (playful talk) that goes on between us. You see, I was wondering if I should use a brobdingnagian (big) word like “rhetorical”, and you reply with an euphonious (pleasant sounding) word like “epitome?” I think that that is funny. (Wait, I think I should look up “funny” in my thesaurus. Now I’m wondering if everybody knows what a thesaurus is, do you think the word “thesaurus” is in the thesaurus? Just thinking out loud here.)
    I was also thinking that; looking at things in a humorous way, can be a great way to see things from “another point of view.” We’ve all heard people say, “Someday we will look back at this and laugh.” And I say, why wait? right?

  • Robert, you are the epitome of what I love about people.
    Thanks for having a “private” conversation about such a fun topic! You and I might be the only Survivor fans here, but I don’t care. You sure are fun to talk to!!

  • Robert says:

    Hey Jeannette, are you and I having a private conversation? Or do you think someone else will read this and benefit from it? (That is a rhetorical question)
    There used to be a popular saying that went like this, “don’t get mad, get even.” A better saying would be “don’t get mad, get curious.” As I watched the season finale of Survivor I got mad at all the people who were cheering for “evil” Russell. I just figured that THEY must be evil too. But then when I heard that you, Jeannette were cheering for Russell, I got curious. WHY are people cheering for “Evil” Russell, especially a “good” person like Jeannette? So I was open to seeing things from another point of view. And you explained so beautifully Jeannette, that where I saw evil and cruelty, you saw determination and commitment. And now I can see can that too. I think THAT is the key to avoiding fights and even wars; being open to seeing other points of view. (And not labeling people.)
    Don’t get mad, get curious.

  • Easy to see your point, Robert. (This could have made a great blog post on its own!)
    And I think it’s once we start saying what’s right and what’s wrong as a standard for everyone else that we start getting into trouble. Because everyone’s got a potentially different idea of it.
    So who’s gonna settle it? That’s how wars start, right?
    If we could do a live and let live routine, knowing Law of Attraction lines everyone up perfectly, then we wouldn’t feel the need to label someone else’s behavior as good or bad, right or wrong.
    We’d simply choose for ourselves and let everyone else choose for themselves.
    So what you could probably say is that tampering with water would be crossing the line for YOU. The same way eating cows (or dogs or whatever other animals people are willing to eat) would be crossing the line for ME. But I can’t say everyone should be vegetarian.
    Or rather, I COULD. he he (And Lord knows I have!!)
    But I wouldn’t be in the vortex with that.
    What do you think, Robert?

  • Robert says:

    I’m still working on looking at this from a couple of different points of view and I still feel that Russell “crossed the line” when he tampered with the water supply.
    And some people may say that there IS no line.
    But there HAS to be a line.
    Didn’t one of the Survivors almost get kicked out of a challange for being too rough?

  • Robert says:

    OK, thanks Jeannette. I really appreciate your explanation. I honestly couldn’t see why so many people were cheering for Russell to win, and they were making me mad! ( in a good way of course hee hee).
    I get it now.

  • How funny … I was rooting for Russell big time. My dad doesn’t like him, Russ was rooting for Brett, but I really wanted to see Russell win – just because he was ALL IN. I mean that guy wanted to win SO BAD!
    And I love to see people get what they want, and who wanted it more than Russell?!
    I couldn’t believe some of the things he was willing to do in the game, and didn’t appreciate his cockiness, but … you have to admit, he pulled some moves that the game hasn’t seen before!! Finding idols without clues? THREE TIMES?! Not letting the weather phase him – I mean that guy never questioned his decision to be in the game and he never faltered. That commitment was really beautiful, if you ask me.
    But the interesting thing here, Robert, is to consider that if Russell didn’t have judgment about what he did, he couldn’t attract negative “karma,” right? And he seemed very much at peace with how he played that game.
    I’m just saying, I’m not sure Russell thought what he did was “bad.”

  • Robert says:

    In other words…if someone wants something so bad that they are willing to harm others to get it then they definitly want it TOO bad.

  • Robert says:

    I’m SO glad that Russell didn’t win.
    I don’t buy into his argument that he was the best player because he did such bad things. Shouldn’t bad attract bad, and good attract good? How can people expect “good” to come into their lives by seeking to harm others. Make people go without water and get a million dollars? I don’t think so!

  • Okay – who watched the finale of Survivor last night?! Talk about “wanting it bad!”
    I went to bed feeling bad for Russell last night, because he clearly wanted the Sole Survivor title so bad, and then it hit me – he wanted it SO BAD.
    Sheesh. No wonder Natalie won.

  • Laura says:

    This reminds me of that analogy that I love…looking at your desires like a seed. If you keep asking where is it, it’s like digging up a seed you have planted to see if it is growing. Everytime you dig it up, you are prolonging the growing of the seed into a plant/flower (or whatever it is you are trying to manifest)..
    So, plant the seed, know that it is growing…after all, you have no doubt that that is what happens when you plant seeds, you’ve watered it (keeping postive, it’s coming thoughts) and are now just excitedly waiting for it to blossom.
    How many times have we planted something, forgotten about it only to be surprised with a beautiful blooming flower in the spring?

  • You are part of what’s going right in my life, too, J. Many thanks for all of your love and support, sister.

  • You know, Tia, strawberries are really a life-saver for me on this topic … I don’t know why this happened, but when I heard an international client lamenting that her desire hadn’t manifested yet, and it sounded like her life was devoid of anything good until she saw progress on that front, I spontaneously thought, “What could be the matter? Doesn’t she have STRAWBERRIES where she lives?”
    ha ha
    And so now when I find myself getting in that same frame of mind, I just think “Strawberries” and I’m right back to good.

  • Aw, you guys are making me blush! Thanks, Mary!
    And Dr. Jenn, I also see that a LOT in romance manifestations! (People wanting it “bad.”) Hopefully this will help ease some of that.
    Thanks for posting, you two!

  • I LOVE this reminder and it’s so true for the folks I work with who are SO over waiting for love to arrive!
    I love your advice of getting your mind off of it by thinking about anything ELSE that feels great.
    My main job is to remind people that finding love can be a real *adventure* and one way to “want it good” is to stay focused on appreciating all of the kick-ass lessons you have the privilege to learn along the way.
    Enjoying the adventure all the way up to point of manifesting is what we are here for anyway, right!?
    Thanks again Jeanette!

  • Mitch, I totally agree with you. I know this stuff backwards and forwards, but something about the way Jeannette phrases things really hits home for me! This post is definitely a keeper, to come back to over and over again.
    Thanks for this, Jeannette! 🙂

  • And bringing that from theory into real life is the trick, huh, Susan? Thanks for the comment!
    I agree, Mitch, this is a theme most of us could benefit from being more aware of (myself included). And you’re right in that Abraham is consistent in delivering this message!

  • Mitch says:

    Jeannette, you are changing lives with this blog post. I can just feel little lightbulbs clicking on around the world. 😀 I know the light has turned on for me. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this since you sent out the ezine.
    I know I’ve been aware of this concept before. (Abraham practically drills it into the ground, right?) But something about the way you’ve stated it here really rings. I have a new excitement for putting all of this to good use!

  • Purepotentialcoach says:

    Within desire the conditions for satisfaction already exist. In understanding the feeling that engenders the desire we are able to be fulfilled before the manifested desire arrives.

  • Glad you enjoyed it, Tiffany.
    And always a pleasure to hear from you, Nancy.
    Good to know we’ve got good company in working all this out together. 🙂

  • Love this, Jeannette! I’ve certainly had the experience of things I thought were WAAAAAAY out there show up very quickly because I just sent it out with pure joy. AND, I’ve noticed some things taking forever UNTIL I shift. The, *pop*, there they are.
    What this has taught me is that if I want something to change, I need to change *first* to align with it~or as Abe has recently said, “become the new me WITH that experience”.
    Many blessings,

  • Tiffany says:

    Oh Jeannette! I’m a pro at wanting somethings bad…and I’m an expert on wanting some things good! It really is such a balance. I find that “small” things feel like wanting it good. Right now I’m working on changing my vibration to wanting health good…cause I mean really: is it all that bad in the first place?
    Thanks for this post! It served as great encouragement and will help SO many people!
    Happy Holidays! 🙂

  • That happens to me sometimes, too, Gemstone … when I get closer to something I’ve been wanting, I feel the attachment to start to creep in.
    Good thing to be aware of so we can recorrect!
    Thanks for reading and especially for posting!

  • Gemstone3 says:

    Thank you for explaining this so clearly. I’ve always gotten a little confused by the desire/but not too much conundrum newbies find themselves in.
    For me right now, my dream job is just around the corner (yay!) As I’ve told you in the past Jeannette, I’ve been waiting for this since spring. I know it’s going to happen. The evidence points to this, and there is a peace knowing that.
    Where I fear I’m faultering is that now that I know there’s just one more piece of the puzzle to put in place, now that I can really, really taste it, I’m becoming more and more attached to the outcome.
    So after reading your article last night, I focused on everything else in my life that I love, and I will continue to do that. I do know that it’s not the end of the world if I don’t get this job, but I’d be seriously bummed.
    I guess we’ll see if it works when the 1st week of January rolls around! As always, I’m looking forward to all of your thoughts on the subject. You guys are just so full of wonderful knowledge, and it’s a pleasure learning from you.

  • Thanks, Toni!
    And couldn’t agree more, Gary – that the Universe’s solution is often better than our own!

  • Gary Paul Frese says:

    Excellent advice Jeannette. I am seeing this happen more often with my clients, and I think it is because they tend to become very attached to a specific outcome and then they can’t see or feel any other possible solution than the one they think should occur. Generally, after discussing the issue with them, we find that their wishes/desires are somewhat ego driven, which in my opinion tends to cancel or inhibit the good effects that using the LOA produces. Allowing the Universe to bring us the best solution, through trust and faith, usually works out a lot better. Many times the Universe’s solution is even better than the solution our specific intention is set on. Love and Blessings for a beautiful holiday season. Gary

  • Toni says:

    No wonder you got so many requests on this article – I’ve quoted you myself on my Danish blog 🙂

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