What Do You Want?
“Desire” is the topic for the June issue of The Law of Attraction Blog Carnival.
Which got me thinking about what we want … and how easily we get that simple subject wrong.
Someone once upon a time (wish I knew who to credit) told me that what most of us want is way more simple than we realize.
If you ask most people what they want, they’ll say something “big” like a promotion at work, a million dollars, a vacation around the world, or a dream come true lover.
Seems reasonable. After all, we hear stuff like that all the time. Many of us even think it.
But when you ask why they want that, we get a little closer to the truth.
It’s often how we think that thing will make us feel that reveals the true desire. (Michael Neill taught me that.)
Example: when I wanted to make more money at work, it was so I would feel more valued. When I wanted a big bank account balance, it was to feel peace of mind. When I wanted a boyfriend, it was to feel cared about. When I wanted to volunteer at the animal shelter, it was to feel a sense of purpose.
When we shoot for the wrong target, we don’t experience fulfillment or satisfaction. But even more, we make the work of getting what we (think we) want much harder than it really is.
Because if all we wanted was to feel a certain way, we could focus on that and activate it much more easily than requiring big money or promotions or lovers to come into our lives. I could choose peace of mind right now; I could consciously care about and value my Self now.
But having said all that, I think it goes even deeper …
When I ask my client who says he wants a month long vacation, or to retire altogether, or to get a divorce, or whatever he thinks he wants – when I ask him what he’ll do after that, we start getting into much more interesting territory.
Once someone imagines themselves properly rested up from life, or unencumbered from the tolerations they live with day in and day out, then they have the freedom to start seeing what they really want.
You know what I hear from them? Things like: to grow a garden; to pet the dog; to laugh with children; to watch the sunset. To read a book; to share a nice meal; to dance to the music.
It’s the simple stuff that really floats our boat. Our true desires are much more basic and mundane than most of us realize, I suspect.
In fact, Gregg Braden said that once we realize we can have whatever we want, we stop wanting. The “want” energy just isn’t present like it used to be. I would agree.
When my coach Martha Beck asked why I was so addicted to work, I told her it was because I wanted to create or hear some sort of good news. “What will you do after that?” she asked. I burst out laughing. I’d relax, lay down and take it easy!
She told me to skip the middle man and go straight for the true desire. My homework was to lay on the couch. lol
Martha was on to something there.
It turns out my most delicious moments aren’t seeing my first eBook break records, or being invited to Oprah, or reveling in any other success I manifested. My favorite moments are when the cat falls asleep in my lap, smelling fresh baked brownies, and taking a long hot bath.
And I’m not alone.
It’s not that I’m incredibly easy to please; rather, I think we’re all after something much simpler than we realize. To feel good; to enjoy life. And that is so much easier than we often make it out to be.