Guest Post: Not Caring What Others Think
Today’s guest post is from Chip Engelmann. I asked him to share his thoughts about how deliberate creators could get better at not caring what others think, since that is a common source of kinky vibes:
How do I stop caring about what other people think of me?
This question cannot be answered as such because it is predicated on a fiction. In truth, no one can ever know what anyone else is thinking. At best, they can make a guess based upon false assumptions.
If you will bear with me, I will create a metaphysical construct in which we can re-examine the dynamics of relationships and from that, reformulate the question to make it more useful.
To start with, we are each magnificent beings of light and love. We are both individual and All-that-is. How we are individual is that we each have a unique blend of spiritual gifts. And as such when we create, we expand the Universe in ways no other individual is capable of.
As a very powerful part of this creation of expansion, you chose to have a physical experience. When you created an idea of you that is very different from who you really are, a being of light and love. This idea of you is based upon millions of years of experiences, colored by your unique mix of spiritual gifts.
Anyone you have a relationship with also has a unique mix of spiritual gifts through which they have interpreted millions of years of experiences.
You may agree that an object is green, but your interpretation of “greenness” will be unique to you. You may agree that a certain arrogant fuzzball is a cat, but your interpretation of what a cat is will be unique to you.
Because you have a unique interpretation of everything in your experience, there is simply no way you can know how anyone is interpreting you or anything else.
Therefore, we can also conclude that the way most people think of relationships is also a fiction. That is not to say we don’t blend reality, it is just slightly different than how we are used to thinking of it.
I have a relationship with Jeannette. I don’t have a clue who Jeannette is but I have assigned her the qualities of carefreeness, cuteness, slightly flirtatious, and a whole lot of fun. In essence, I have created a fiction of Jeannette that matches my unique point of view. She in turn cannot know me and has created her own fiction. In our blending of reality, Chip has a relationship with Chip’s idea of Jeannette, and Jeannette has a relationship with Jeannette’s idea of Chip.
Another way of saying this is I line up with a version of Jeannette that matches the vibration of my expectations. And Jeannette lines up with the version of Chip that matches the vibration of her expectations.
In the same way, you have a relationship with the idea of everyone one you meet. You have a relationship with the idea of every plant and animal you encounter. In fact you even have a relationship with the idea of every thought you think. And each idea you think carries with it a unique interpretation.
In other words everything you see about you is a projection of your interpretation. It’s all you baby.
You truly create your physical experience through your thoughts.
So let’s get back to the original question:
How do I stop caring what other people think?
We are still not quite there yet. No doubt you’ve heard the expression, “What you don’t like about someone else is what you don’t like about yourself.”
If you get that what you experience in other people is a projection of your vibration, what you are looking at in a person you don’t like is a projection of you.
Some examples of how this might work is:
If you are angry, you will attract the versions of people that will yell at you. If you are feeling guilty, you will attract the versions of people that will punish you. If you are feeling shame, you will attract the versions of people that will “put you down.”
So when you are worried about what others think, what you are really worried about is exposing yourself to yourself through the mirror of “other people.”
Now you can change the question to something more useful. You can ask, “What is it that I’m judging myself for that I’m not quite ready to face?”
Chip Engelmann is the founder of Light Tapping and known as the Law of Attraction “Fun Guru.” Visit Chip at PracticalWizard.com and sign up for his free video series: the 5 Pillars of Practical Wizardry.