Clarity Not Required

I presented at Denise’s Virtual Vitality event today, but forgot to tell my reality tv show story, so here it is:
This week’s episode of  “I Shouldn’t Be Alive”  was where the 11 year old girl and her father get stuck in sub-zero temperatures on a snowmobile trip.
They had both said how important it was to spend time together. (He was a workaholic, so any time they got together was special and appreciated.)
Yet, as they were stranded and freezing in the snow together, I thought … this probably isn’t what they had in mind.
Technically, though, Universe delivered what they said they wanted: time together.
More likely what they really wanted was the feeling they had when together.
That’s the only reason we want anything, right? For how we think it’s going to make us feel.

Because if we got the thing we said we wanted but it turned out to suck – we would not feel like winners.

Like … the time I paid off all my debt and still didn’t feel free to live life as I wanted. That was my mistaken belief that being debt free would feel good. It doesn’t. Feeling good feels good.  ebt or no debt has nothing to do with that.
Or when I thought having a full coaching practice would be joy and bliss, but it was a surprising amount of work and stress. My job can’t dictate how I feel. Only I can.
Which is why I’ve been saying lately that you don’t need clarity about what you want in order to manifest it. At least, not clarity about the THING.
It is, though, very helpful to be clear about the feelings you want. We miss this point sometimes.
You just need to be able to feel it first – whatever you want. Find a way to feel now how you think you would feel then.
That’s what you really want.
And it’s also what works – when it comes to powerful manifesting.
Feel that way now, and not only will the material details fall into place, but you’ll have gotten what you really wanted all along.
(The feeling.)
Off my soapbox now and back to the next life lesson from the wonderful world of reality tv. (Coming up: Boston Rob is a master manifester!)  🙂

  • February 26, 2011
  • Mandy says:

    Aw, thank you! 🙂
    I didn’t feel so rockin’ when they told me they wouldn’t write it off OR fix it properly LOL.

  • Mandy, I loved your story so much I repeated it in an interview today!!
    Love your excitement about successful manifestations, even as you’re being crashed into, so easily forgiving Universe for putting you in the scene even when that wasn’t part of your picture, and also love your awareness of your beliefs and incentive to shift them.
    You rock!!!

  • Mandy says:

    This is SO true!
    I rely heavily on using a car for work. My old one wasn’t reliable enough but I was too scared to get a new one as I still hadn’t paid off its loan. And it was in such bad shape that I wouldn’t be able to pay the loan off completely if I sold it.
    I had a “bright” idea that if someone were to write it off FOR ME, ie, smash the heck out of it without any of it being my fault at all, I’d get a cheque for its market value and pay off the loan.
    I began visualising my parked car (sometimes in my street, sometimes in a carpark) being hit by another car at high impact. Around a month later, someone smashed into my car while it wasn’t moving (I was stuck in a car jam…in a carpark). The guy’s accelorator got jammed and there was a heck of a lot of damage to my car. I was DELIGHTED when this happened! I felt very clever indeed, for manifesting something so specific! (Although a little unnerved that I was IN the car…that wasn’t part of the visualisation!).
    Alas, the car was NOT a write off. In fact, the insurance company refused to fix some of the damage done, claiming it had been there before the accident. So my car LESSENED in value again.
    Three lessons learned here:
    1) It wasn’t the crash I really wanted. It was the secure FEELING of knowing I would be able to make it to my jobs that I wanted. I thought I could figure out the “hows”. (I’ve known for a long time this is a no-no but I still do it sometimes. Sigh)
    2) I still have underlying limiting beliefs about money.
    3) Erm…best to try and steer clear of potentially dangerous situations, yes?
    On the plus side:
    1) I was absolutely stoked when I got proof “in the seen” of my ability to create intentionally
    2) The incident prompted me to get a beautiful new car anyway. Sure, my budget is tighter but I actually don’t care AT ALL. I’m so, so happy to have a car I can rely on. As a result, my fear of losing money has (or seems to have!) completely disappeared. So no more worry, and no more undesirable manifestations as a result of that worry.
    I know the best things that appear for me are amazing surprises which give me the feelings I desire (and which I could never have imagined for myself), but I forget sometimes during the hustle and bustle of life. Thanks for the reminder Jeanette xo.

  • That’s the heart of it, isn’t it, Pamela? “So much easier to get what we really want when we focus on the feeling without strings attached.”
    It’s worth the effort to create new habits of focus!
    Appreciate your contribution to the conversation, my friend. 🙂

  • Pamela says:

    Love this post and all the comments about how creative the universe can be about delivering what we think we want. So much easier to get what we really want when we focus on the feeling without strings attached.

  • I totally agree, Stacy, that much of the programming we get encourages us to worry and stress instead of relax and let go.
    Which is reason for all the more kudos to you for making feeling good your priority. Thanks for writing to share the wonderful side effects you got from it!

  • Stacy @ Local Online Marketing says:

    I’m towards the end of a 30 day project for feeling good. It was inspired by your No Assembly Required post – the one about getting ALIGNED vs taking action. So that’s what I’ve been doing – “working” on feeling good first and foremost. NOT taking action if I didn’t feel like it (though I’ve still gone to work and such if scheduled). And I’ve had some great results – a big unexpected check from my mortgage company plus notice that my monthly payment is going down a bit. Money flowing in so well that I actually have $2,000 left over at the end of the month when for some time my expenses had been exceeding my income.
    And while I’m loving all the extra money and I really love having so much LESS worry about money – what I really wanted all along was to feel good. And wouldn’t you know – feeling good has been my priority and the money started coming in.
    The biggest thing I learned though is that it’s not always so easy to be in the habit of feeling good. We get so conditioned and trained to do what we “should” and what we “have to do” that feeling good gets put on the back burner. Thus it does take some practice and getting into the habit of focusing on feeling good (or at least better when good is a bit out of reach for the moment).
    Part of what has been feeling good – and which I think helps me feel better which feels good (a fun cycle of feeling good) has been listening to Abraham cds in my car whenever I drive. I haven’t listened to music in over a week – but those Abe cds sure help the feeling good! Hmmm, I think I want to make myself a tshirt that says “I love alignment!” May be confused for a chiropractors practice but I think I’ll make one and wear it! lol

  • That focus will serve you nicely, Nicole! Embracing your freedom no matter your circumstances ensures you’ll experience more of it.
    Thanks for reading and for posting! 🙂

  • Nicole says:

    Great post for a Monday morning! Going back to work after the weekend can stir such feelings of “BLAH” when all I want is the freedom to decided which days to work. I need to focus on feeling free, no matter where I am or what I am doing.

  • Oooh Amanda! I can imagine how much fun Universe will have with this direct signal you’re sending!
    It’s targeted right on what matters most, and leaves it lots of room to play with how it delivers! YAY!
    I’d grease those wheels, too, if I were you, by reveling in feelings of freedom and community and excitement and security now. That’s a recipe Universe can’t go wrong with. WOO HOO!!

  • Amanda42 says:

    I am job-hunting this morning, and I’m glad I popped over here to read this. I don’t know exactly what I want to do anymore, but I do know how I’d like to feel. This is going to help me tremendously.
    I want to feel:
    Excited about going to work in the morning
    Financially stable and secure
    Free (which goes along with being excited every morning – I will remember that I am making a choice to go in)
    Part of a community
    What a great way to boost my career manifesting! Thank you!!

  • Thanks for reading and also for reiterating the point, Cassie! 🙂

  • Cassie says:

    Rock on Jeanette! I really like this post. It’s SOOOO important to focus on the feeling. Thanks for pointing this out.

  • Nice one, Julie! I can relate, too … the other day, in my effort to not feel sorry for an incarcerated friend, I started thinking about all the good things she was experiencing. No worry about bills, no headache from husband, no big house to keep clean, no traffic, no shopping, no meal prep, no emails or voice mail to keep up on … and pretty soon I was thinking she’s got it pretty GOOD. lol
    I might do well to incorporate whatever I think is good about prison into my own world, lest I manifest myself a jail cell. hee hee
    And it does come back to the FEELING. For me, it’s enjoyment and appreciation. Good to focus on again.
    Thanks for posting, Julie. 🙂

  • Julie Masters says:

    Like Ande, I presented myself with a healing crisis wake-up call. Two years ago,with the threat of surgery looming, I found myself thinking that being in a hospital would be a justified (and socially acceptable) place to go for a long healing rest. I’ve never stayed in a hospital, so my fantasy was just that–a clean room, quiet visitors, food I didn’t have to prepare, and ringing a bell when I needed something! Fortunately, I caught myself just thinking it, and realized that what I really wanted was to feel free–and to have my need for rest validated! Definitely an “inside” job! I dropped the hospital idea and instead called my friends and family, making a conscious request for care and support. A much happier manifestation, with physical healing as a wonderful addition!

  • I know exactly what you mean, Nancy. Invariably, when I ask a client “how will you feel when you have this?” their answer is “excited!” But the truth is, in real life, when it really happens, that excitement doesn’t last for all that long.
    Who was it at GVU who said we humans acclimate VERY quickly?!! lol
    Yes, in the long haul, satisfaction and enjoyment and appreciation feel much more likely than 24/7 excitement.
    Am looking forward to hearing more from you about your experiences with Pure Awareness!

  • You know, Jeannette, I’ve understood this concept and focused on the feelings…but usually feelings of elation and intense joy. Those ARE feelings we often feel initially when we get what we want…but they are rarely the feelings we feel in the long haul. Know what I mean?
    When we’ve manifested something we appreciate, over time, the intense joy shifts to satisfaction and peace.
    In the past week, I’ve been practicing Pure Awareness, which means I’ve been feeling that deep satisfaction and peace for sustained periods of time. It dawned on me: THIS is the feeling I’m really wanting!!! 😀
    Thank you for all the work you do helping folks to understand and live LOA!
    Many blessings,

  • Oh, Ande, I’ve heard similar stories from others before about fantasizing about rest and relaxation and then it comes in a way they really wouldn’t have preferred.
    I like how you tell it though … that IS awesome manifesting! lol

  • Yes, yes, yes. The feeling. I learned this the HARD way. In early 2008, I had been thinking a lot about how I just wanted to get in my bed and sleep for a really long time. I was tired and burned out and I just wanted to REST. In March, I took a freak fall off a shallow flight of stairs and tore up both ankles (surgery–pins, clamps–the whole bit) and couldn’t walk at all for 6 weeks, so I was stuck in bed. LOL I am such an AWESOME MANIFESTOR!!!!!
    But no, being in bed wasn’t what I wanted. What I wanted was to feel free. I now know that’s what I want, so I make it a point to look for ways, everyday, that I feel free now. I’m sure my results will be better than what I came up with before. 😉

  • Glad to hear I’ve got good company, Barbara. lol (“I’ve experienced a few situations where I’ve realized I had manifested “the thing” I wanted and had not paid attention to the feelings.”)
    In fact, I just quoted Michael Neill on this topic today. He said:
    “… how you live is the natural product of the way you currently see the world. When your level of understanding shifts (i.e. you “see things differently”), you will naturally and automatically change the way you live. And there’s nothing you need to do, be, have, or change in order to be happy.”
    Here’s to seeing things differently!!
    Thanks for posting, Barbara. 🙂

  • Barbara says:

    “It is, though, very helpful to be clear about the feelings you want. We miss this point sometimes.”
    Yes, we do sometimes miss this point! While not as dramatic as the father and daughter in the blizzard, I’ve experienced a few situations where I’ve realized I had manifested “the thing” I wanted and had not paid attention to the feelings–and got myself into situations that were not all that comfortable..LOL
    That’s why I’m usually focusing in a more general way these days–JUST FEEL GOOD! And when I get specific, I feel and intend relaxed, easy, fun, harmonious, peaceful, safe sailing!
    Love the post as always, Jeannette!

  • That’s a very cool story, Julio. I love that you recognized the core of the message was that it isn’t the scenery/details that matters, it’s the feelings.
    Sounds like you are no stranger to the vortex, my friend. !!

  • Julio Blanco says:

    I was in Rocky Mountain National Park last year, marveling at the beauty around me and my family, when these words popped into my head: “you will always live like this.”
    I knew it was a moment of inspiration, but I didn’t really understand what the words meant. “What do you mean I’ll always live like this… driving around RMNP?”
    It was the feeling… I was in the flow, enjoying a masterpiece of beauty created by Spirit, surrounded by people I love and who love me.
    I love your post… the details don’t matter so much… it was the feeling that mattered. The feeling was what my soul was whispering that I would always live. Sweeeet.

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