What Were You Thinking?

spooky-canyon.jpg– A client reports that her interview didn’t turn out as she’d hoped.

– A good friend is excited about the raffle she won at the charity event last night.
– My best friend says none of our foster kitties got adopted over the weekend.
– My father-in-law says his hospital test results turned out great.
– A client reveals that none of his leads panned out.
Whether surprised or excited or discouraged about their results, each situation invites the same question: “What were you thinking?”
Or some variation of that question:

  • “Did I pre-pave it?”
  • “What did I think would happen?”
  • “What was I expecting?”

When we can link up what we had in mind prior to the event, it’s pretty simple to see how our thoughts create our results.  That connection inspires us to be more deliberate in future events.

Favorite Example: a couple of years ago I went on my first internet date.  It was awful.  So awful that had I been famous, I’d known I was being punked.   It seemed impossible to contrive so many awful things in just one night.  But there it was – happening in real life.  Unbelievably ridiculous!

I promptly returned home to email the handful of other guys I’d been chatting with online.  I told them my girlfriends were right; I was crazy to meet men online – and I would definitely NOT do it again.

Which led me to wonder what made for such a miserable experience.  “What was I thinking?”

Well, I’d been thinking I’d give it a try.  I thought I’d check out what everyone was talking about with online dating.  In the back of my mind I was also thinking how my girlfriends thought I was nuts.  But I still thought I’d see what would happen.

“See what happens?”  Okay, that’s not very deliberate!  Jeannette, you can do better than THAT!

I laughed when I realized I hadn’t pre-paved the date.  Hadn’t even put together a list of traits, qualities and characteristics I wanted in a guy!  Can you imagine?!

What could I expect when I hadn’t given Universe proper instruction about what I wanted?!

Well, that doesn’t happen twice.

Once I understood that I’d just rolled the Universal dice on that first date, I knew I could do better.

So when a not bad-looking financial planner/photographer wrote suggesting to “get back on that horse, kind woman!” I eventually agreed to meet him for lunch.

This time, I imagined myself laughing so hard my cheeks hurt.  I held thoughts of what a pleasure it was to get to know someone new.  I fancied feeling an immediate mutual attraction.  I pre-enjoyed how crystal clear he was in letting me know he was interested in seeing me again (because if I was having THIS much fun, I’d definitely want to do it again)!  I imagined the ease of our conversation.  I loved that he was intelligent, funny, considerate, and hot hot hot!

And guess what?  The attraction was so immediate I could feel it before he even crossed the parking lot.  I think I even blushed when I shook his hand!  Over lunch, I laughed so hard my cheeks hurt.  I never had so much fun getting to know someone new.  Our conversation was natural, easy and incredibly enjoyable.  He was funny and smart and sweet … and did I mention hot?!  Man, he was hot.

By the time I got home from lunch, there was an email waiting from him.  He was “breaking all the internet dating rules” and inviting me to a weekend getaway.  tee hee

(That meets my request that he was clear about wanting to see me again.)

Guess what happened next?

I pre-paved a magnificent summer of dating!  It got better and better each date with each guy!  In fact, I had so much fun, it must have been illegal.  Words can’t describe the amount of fun I had!

All because I got clear about what I was thinking.  No more rolling the dice, seeing what happened.  I got crystal clear with Universe about what to deliver.

(And man, did Universe deliver!  Sheesh , what a fun summer.)

I’d love to hear what inspires YOU to pay attention to what you’re thinking.  How do you remember to segment intend, pre-pave, or hold the outcome you want in mind before you start?  Thanks in advance for sharing your inspiration with us!

PS – the photo here is of one of the slot canyons we hiked in the southern part of Utah on our second date.  Fun fun fun!

  • July 21, 2008
  • One of my favorite guys gave me permission to share here the email he sent me yesterday after he read the 7/29 ezine issue:

    “I always expect my performance and my attitude to be better today than yesterday.

    “I’ve always expected my business to produce over 100 million in worldwide sales and it has!

    “Ever since I was a kid growing up in El Salvador, I expected my income to, someday, in the very near future, increase to over one million dollars a year and it has more than tripled that amount!

    “I expected to come to the USA and help thousands of people worldwide! and, by being involved in network marketing, I have been able to accomplish this goal!

    “‘Dreams Come True!’ right?

    “I’m still working on other dreams to come true……….

    “I know, eventually they will! 🙂

    “How do I know this?……..I expect them to do so…”

    Jeannette again: this guy lives the law of attraction in a way I rarely see. Not only that, he has a genuine heart of gold that’s unmistakable when interacting with him.

    I love the example he sets so much that I asked him if I could at least post his email – he graciously agreed. Hoping to hear more from this deliberate creator soon!

  • Kim – THANK YOU for seeing the progress of that experience!

    Rather than being deflated because there was yet another married guy interested in you – which many people would dive into that and drown in it – you instead saw what was working, what was RIGHT, what was PROGRESS about it!

    Thank you!!

    Powerful example of how we have the choice to focus on what feels good or what feels not so good. And we all know what that focus brings – so keep it up and keep us posted!

    PS – I’ve been waiting for inspiration to hit about the next group course topic – so thanks for the suggestion!

  • Iyabo, you are too much! Thanks for the ego boost today. lol
    I’m not surprised that you so easily saw it and got it. That’s your style – quick learner.
    What’s even better is that the people in your world benefit from it as well.
    And along those lines, thanks for being in our world. You rock!

  • Kim Falconer says:

    Oh that was a grand question, Iyabo! And the answer does help so much–I can see a whole post on the topic! Actually Jeannette, I can see a whole tele-course –‘tune your relationship vibe and meet your match’ –on this topic. Like Iyabo, I have a tiny bit of conditioning around my relationship expectations. Missy B, you’ll enjoy this update!
    After reading ‘What were you thinking?’, I took notice and realized that saying ‘all the great guys are taken’ didn’t serve me 🙂 It wasn’t really hard to get to that conclusion! So I started (as of 9 days ago) saying ‘Great guys that are really into me are getting divorced every day!’ There are great single guys (really into me) everywhere! Basically, it’s raining men!
    And so of course I met a great guy the next day and he googled me and asked me out to lunch and I had such a fun time–he’s a really great guy! However, he’s not single…my expectation (all great guys are taken; only married men are interested in me) appears to still be my vibe.
    The cool thing is I allowed a guy to ask me out for the first time in…a very long time… so my vibe is changing–fast. I am now wondering how to release my conditioned expectation because it’s acting like it’s cast in stone even when I know it’s just a thought!
    I guess I don’t fully FEEL it yet (great single guys into me)….even though I am saying it.
    Thank you for this topic Jeannette! I seriously would LOVE a tele-course on relationship. I have a feeling millions of others would too!

  • Iyabo says:

    Congratulations Certified Master Coach Jeanette, I now confer upon you the title of Doctor. You are now Doctor Cerfitied Master Coach Jeanette. You nailed it. You literally performed a vibrational lobodomy on that post. You nailed it so hard. OK. So time to revisit the original vibration and be aware of hope versus expectation. Rich expectation. I feel it. Your post just liberated expectation and shot its vibe up for me again.
    Thank Dr. J.
    Lots of love at ya.

  • “A belief is a thought we keep thinking.” I like that, Paul. That’s an easy way of summing it up!
    Your ability to take responsibility for what you create and to manage your thoughts to your benefit is admirable. Thanks for sharing it with us here!

  • Paul. says:

    Annette, I can so relate to your question; thank you! Before responding to it, though, let me ask you one back: How do you feel when you think “not a ‘good one’ because I’m not ‘taken’?” If it makes you feel good then, to quote from one of Jeannette’s earlier posts, do more of that.
    For me, it doesn’t feel good to me to think that thought. But you, in your question, gave me my way out. You (brilliantly) asked “what IF we thought …?” Hey, I can change my thought, choose a different one to think!
    For me, I’ve decided, as I go through my day, that (direct from Abraham) nothing is more important than that I feel good. And when my gremlins or my history or someone’s comment about me come to cause trouble, I focus on changing my vibe.
    A lot of what Abraham says resonates with me and one of my favorite concepts is that “a belief is a thought we keep thinking.” Which is cool to me because, if you’re like me and got crappy beliefs foisted on you, well, you don’t have to keep on thinking them.
    I want to think that anyone who is learning and living “so much so fast,” who is ” ‘taking the plunge’ into the unknown me,” who is escaping their “limited-thinking-mobile and swim to the top”–well, those are great foundations for the definition of a “good one” for me, no matter what his/her relationship status.
    To answer the second part of your question, I believe, as other posters have observed, that when we’re in relationship (when we’re “taken”), many of us (myself included) can relax the pressure we put upon ourselves, so that we can allow ourselves to shine through, allow our vibe to flow. I’m not all caught up in my self-criticism because I’m “taken” and this new friend’s imagined judgements wouldn’t devestate me as much.
    Guess what happens to me? People who hadn’t looked my way twice before are chatting me up and asking for my number.
    And here’s the real irony for me: This is happening because I’m allowing it because I’m safe because I’m in a relationship. Do you notice that it’s all “I,” “I,” “I” in that sentence? I’m doing it all to myself.
    Enjoy your lovely swim to the top!

  • Well, you’re exactly right, Iyabo, about the kink in the vibe. Did you catch it?

    You said:

    “I expect for us to be on time to go somewhere, I annouce it days in advance, we agree on a time to leave the house and I am HOPING (emphasis added) we leave the house at that time … “

    Key words there revealed the kink. Where expectation turned into hope.

    Can you feel that downgrade?

    Hope is often a good thing, but it’s not as powerful as knowing. Know what I mean?

    (My mentor coach, Jeanna Gabellini, used to say “hope is for wimps.”)

    So it’s one thing to say we have an expectation, it’s another to really feel it.

    Example, I just found myself saying to someone “I intend to connect with so-and-so (a mutual acquaintance) on Friday,” but even as I said the words I felt the incongruence within – and I knew that I was saying the words, but not feeling them. What I WAS feeling was a desire to be free and clear on Friday – to have no meetings, no phone calls, no obligations.

    That’s my opportunity to clean it up – either get clear that my TRUE desire/intention is to have no calls Friday, or I really get on board with connecting with my acquaintance.

    Where you’ve experienced disappointment of your expectation so many times, you practically have built a new expectation, right?

    I mean, you might LIKE to think things are going to go your way, but deep down, you’re vibrating all those past experiences – maybe even FEAR a repeat – and so the expectation isn’t as clean as you might like it to be.

    Does that make any sense?

    It’s an excellent question – deserves its own post, actually.

  • Iyabo says:

    Jeanette, this post along with the ezine on what you were expecting kinda shook me up. Yes, I can definietley improve in this area and I look forward to making those shifts.
    However, I have a question for you: Sometimes we get conditioned into an expectation. I can see creating a new expectation around a new experience. For instance, I am going to a party Saturday and my expectation is that I will have a great time, eat moderately, meet new people, feel releaxed and comfortable, get there on time and in a great mood and have a great time.
    However, what about when you are dealing with someone like your boyfriend, or my husband, and I have experienced dissapointement of my expectation so many times. I expect for us to be on time to go somewhere, I annouce it days in advance, we agree on a time to leave the house and I am hoping we leave the house at that time, I am ready to leave the house at that time but it turns out he is not ready and we leave 30 minutes later.
    It seems my expectation vibe may have a kink in it from repeated dissapointments. How do I fix my expectation vibe to its original factory settings.

  • Nice observation, Annette!

    As I started to go down that line, I reminded myself that I’m a good one no matter my relationship status and no matter what anyone else thinks. I am because I say I am.

    I also believe we ALL are. (A good one.) Automatically. Always. Already.

    That thought sure feels good to me!

    Thanks for posting, Annette. (I like where your comments took me!)

  • Oh OH – Paul – what IF we thought we weren’t a ‘good one’ because we weren’t ‘taken’?? What if we believed we WERE a ‘good one’ because we were ‘taken, and that’s why we find we’re approached so much when we ARE ‘taken’????
    And TIA: I had a similar dream about driving myself off a barge into the bay. Same calm escape – but still WEIRD.
    I came to this explanation: I am learning and Living so much so fast right now that I feel I am ‘taking the plunge’ into the unknown me. Driving my life into new and huge realms. But I believe that if I go willingly and stay calm (no Fear!) and remember what I’ve been learning, I will be able to escape my limited-thinking-mobile and swim to the top!

  • Good awareness, Tia. With that you can be clear about what you REALLY want and let THAT in.

    In fact, it’s already happening, isn’t it?!


  • Tia says:

    Phillis, just watched the link you sent – it was awesome, thank you soooooooooo much I’ve sent it to many of my friends! Funny thing is, when I manifested this job I| really wanted it as I thought it would help me help people and make a real difference (and it did) but it didnt address the other 50% which was I want to work 3-4 days a week, 20-30 hours and not have it feel like work, make more $, have freedom of time (not just 2 weeks of holidays a year .. argh!) and more independence!!! Awesome last post J 😉 !!

  • Phillis, your excellent post reminds me of Michael Neill’s recent newsletter. He talks about how to find the positive in a potential negative situation.

    I’ll paste it here from http://www.geniuscatalyst.com:

    “Few things are more worthy of letting go of than the habitual thoughts which lead to feelings of pain, rejection, resentment, bitterness, and anger. The longer you harbor these old, dark thoughts, the longer they will hold you back from the love, peace, and joy we seek in our relationships with ourselves and others.

    “It’s like a scab – if you pick at it, it will re-open, fester, and likely become infected. If you leave it alone, it will heal. Even if there’s a lot of pain and the healing is slow, by shifting your focus away from the scab and on to the rest of your healthy body, you’re making space for the wound to heal itself.

    “1. Pick an old grudge, resentment, pain, or rant you’re still holding onto. It doesn’t matter if the other person is dead or alive, or how old the ache you’ve got stuck in your craw. Write down one concise sentence summing up what you’re still upset about.

    I am so angry that you stole money from my business.

    “2. Find three positives you received, other bad experiences you were spared, or other good outcomes that flowed forth from this event. Write down the blessings, starting with “If you hadn’t done this, I might never have….”


    If you hadn’t done this, I might never have learned to pay attention to my finances.
    If you hadn’t done this, I might never have realized how much I hated this work.
    If you hadn’t done this, I might never have faced my issues with my father.

    “3. Looking backward from today, trace all the seemingly unrelated good things you’ve got in your life now that might NOT have come about if you hadn’t gone through that “unforgivable” experience. Add these to your list.


    I might never have gone to Europe.
    I might never have met my beloved.
    I might never have discovered my calling.

    “4. Fold the piece of paper several times. On the outside, write your own version of this message: “From this day forth, I release myself from this resentment. I have suffered, I have been blessed, I am letting go, and I am moving on.”

    “5. Tear up the piece of paper or burn it ceremonially. You may feel a rush of energy released when you do so. The rush comes from the energy you’re reclaiming as you let go of the old resentment.

    “Have fun, learn heaps, and stop picking those scabs!

    With love,

    PS – This tip was adapted from our 365 day e-program, Success Made Fun. For more information and to sign up, visit:

  • Tia, you’re a smart girl not giving the rellies a chance to activate your gremlin.
    You know, too, that mantra that it just keeps getting better might be a good one to activate right about now, too. I’m sure good things are already headed, but keeping the vibration of those words in your heart & mind will usher in a swift and obvious good deal for you.
    PS – I LOVE the thought of getting a chance to do one on one work with you, Tia! woo hoo!

  • Phillis says:

    I am with you — the first lay off (I knew it was coming but not my job) I had a feeling and honestly didn’t care how some people at the company were taking advantage of the owners . . . I didn’t say anything but did think those thoughts. The second time — I actually would think those thoughts all day long — “I don’t like this company”, “I don’t like this job” “etc.” . . . . . WOW one month later I was let go — the funny thing is that I was not shocked . . . I am a manifest person at the highest – just need to get it under control! What this did for me – other than using my savings . . . it has allowed me to move on – – – pursue a career that is creative and allows me to be ‘me’ . . . .allows me to relocate to another town that has those opportunities . . . allows me to close a wonderful chapter in my life . . . allows me to be me. . . yes, it is hard to swallow and hard on the finances . . . but those things will take care of themselves too . . . hang in there — look at your desires, dreams and goals . . . . see what makes you happy and go there . . . cheers, P.

  • Tia says:

    Oh and I wanted to add I’ve felt dissatisfied with most of my jobs and ended up leaving them somehow or the other and this was the quickest EVER manifestation so this must means that Im getting better and faster at this ay?? OMG how exciting!! I intend to channel my incredible power and energy in ways that will benefit me and all that I come in contact with. 🙂 🙂 Jeannette, looks like you may have a new client soon 🙂

  • Tia says:

    Thank you all soooo much!!! Im a little teary from joy after reading your wonderful messages!!! Ive been away visiting relatives for 3 days and just got back to internet and all weekend I was looking forward to coming back and reading the blog as I just knew you all would say “this is awesome” as opposed to everyone else I know who said “oh thats horrible, im sorry this happened!” And I didnt tell the rellies as I KNEW they would have the 2nd reaction and I just did not want anything or anyone bringing me down.
    Paul, I love your interpretation of my dream!! That resonates well with me, I love it!!!! Phillis, thank you for sharing that you got ‘let go’ twice in 3 months, over the weekend I started falling prey to thoughts of “but what was the reason” and “wow, they hardly ever ever fire anyone, i must have done something really bad” etc and i had to keep brining myself back to the present and say It is what it is, and what it is is all GOOD. Went in today to do the final handover and thought I would ask again what acually IS the reason (ok I probably shldnt have but I didnt have you all for the last 3 days haha) and still there was nothing forthcoming. Decided it was just too amazing for words and its now the past already and thats where it will stay!!
    Leslie and Jeannette, thank you so much for your lovely words yes I do feel lucky and charmed and blessed and am excited about whats next!! I am so blessed to be a part of this community of conscious creators, I truly adore and am grateful for you all. Happy Monday!!

  • Beautifully said, Paul and Leslie!
    That’s one of the things I love about this blog – the incredible community of support and encouragement!
    Tia, I’m also thinking about the mantra I use in times when life seems a little ruffled:
    “The Universe has my best interests at heart and delivers perfection every single time. Always. Perfection.”
    I think of my foster rottie dog story (old post) to see the truth of that when I remember to manifest it. 🙂

  • Leslie R says:

    wow I love these posts and especially the authenticity you created in your recent post Paul. What a very beautiful interpetation of Tia’s dream and wow look at that girl go. I have found that dreams are such a wonderful gift and even if we don’t quite get it concretely (ha ha) the feelings and the presence of the dream get to us through osmosis! We always need to be reminded we are loved.
    Tia, here is my thoughts for you today. What a charmed life you lead and how wonderful your spirit has directed you to ask more deeper and for more.
    Woo hoo, here is to more!
    Love Leslie

  • Paul. says:

    Tia, what a great example of real-life vibe-shifting, looking for all those great positives for you!
    I just wanted to add a little about your dream. I’m a little leary of relying on books, etc. for interpretting dream symbols as I have found the symbols in dreams to be very personal. When I read the first option, I wondered if the bit about “overly high and unrealistic goals for yourself” was “good vibe.” (To be honest, I have found published interpretations somewhat limiting because, as in this case, you get to choose between Option #1 or Option #2.)
    As I was reading your post, the flash I got (had this been my dream and my life situation we were talking about) was “hmmm, an airplane crash is definitely a crisis (and one in which we usually have little power) and, in my world, being let go might be considered a similar life crisis. Yet, everyone in the plane is not acting like “typical” people would in that situation; they are calm, just like Tia. Could they be focusing on their vibe? Feels like it and the plane lands safely, bobs even, The people get out at an island that sounds pretty much like my definition of paradise.” So, for me, I might interpret that dream as telling me, “Yes, you’re going through what others would label a ‘life crisis” but there is no ‘crisis’ here. People are calm. It all works out.” Which, by the way, Tia, is what you’re doing.
    I don’t post this to say that my interpretation is correct but to suggest there might be a more “good vibe” message than the 2 options you linked to and to encourage you to find your truth in your dream.
    For what it’s worth, I think your subconscious or your Higher Self wanted to make sure you paid attention to the message, as it made you notice that plane landing in Manila.
    Keep that vibe going and keep creating. Like Abraham says, we attract life experiences in this world of contrast to finetune our desires. Oh, ya, and enjoy the summer you’ve created for yourself!

  • Thanks, Phillis, for the great reminder and the inspiring clip!

  • Phillis says:

    Here’s a great but long video on UTube . . . by Louise L. Hay . . . I’ve watched it several times . . . my favorite part is around the 1:13 mark — the entire video is well worth the viewing. Enjoy –

  • Phillis says:

    FYI I actually manifested the same thing that you had — got laid off from a position (actually twice in the past three months) in which I was inwardly “dis” liking . . . I manifested that situation (with intention and it happened very fast) and of course all my situations —
    However, this little discomfort (situation) has allowed me some time to really get to the core of what I desire and can create . . . we are all master creators and are in charge of what we receive . . . we do ‘pre-pave’ everything — so here’s to pre-paving and receiving what we desire for each of our better ‘good’.

  • Tia, you get huge kudos for finding your way to so many better feeling thoughts at a time like this!

    I’m wondering, Tia, have you ever heard Abraham say that every death is a “suicide”? Because we create it? Every time?

    In that respect, there’s no such thing as “getting fired” or being let go, right? Since we created it?

    I mean, if nothing’s happening TO us, if we’re attracting this reality, then that takes away a lot of the sting, maybe?

    Anyway …

    My take on this is that you were doing swift work of raising that vibe of yours .. and when we do that, life changes. People leave to make room for new players; homes change; health changes; work changes – it shows up everywhere.

    It’s a good sign.

    As evidenced by your incredible dream!

    Oh – I just read your second post, and see that you already give yourself credit for this manifestation. Well done!!

  • Tia says:

    Oh and my 2 managers looked really sad and teary while letting me go and all I could think was wow, what was I thinking to bring this about and was actually smiling about half of the time!! I said to them I know this is hard on you and Im sorry to ask you all these questions but I need to know what Im being letting go for etc .. I still dont think there was any valid reason and I did nothing wrong, so “not fitting in” seems sooooo flimsy a reason. Thats when I knew more was going on here than it appears. I only teared up once when I thought they were going to cry. Its almost strange to feel so calm and relaxed about this situation .. but I have NO fear although Im exhausted mentally and physically, (it hasnt sunk in yet? or am i truly ok with this? ask me tommorow!)

  • Tia says:

    What was I thinking … What did I prepave … 4 days after my 1st post I have something to add. So somehow apparently I manifested being “let go” from my job. ! ! !
    What!!?? The job I manifested 1.5 months ago? How did THAT happen!? Was it that I was starting to wake up in the morning thinking I so dont want to go to work? Or my clients frustrate me at times cos their language skills are so low it takes ages for them to understand me? Or that I really enjoy the ‘counselling/inspiring them’ part of my job better than teaching them how to write resumes? Or that I wish I had a few fridays off and could enjoy summer to the max? Could it be that I said from the start this job a step towads what i really want to do – pers devt workshops – in a year’s time? Was it that 2 days ago I sent out an email to you all asking how can one stand so much excitement? (btw, a few hours after i posted that message stuff happened to bring the excitement and my energy right down LOL – soo i manifested that huh?
    When it happened at work today I couldnt believe it was happening!!!! Me, Im so smart, caring, warm (i was told i wasnt warm enough by one of the ‘firing managers! – hello? no one who knows me wld ever say that how come it didnt come across at work?? ) good at what I do!! I love helping people, how in the world can they even think of letting me go especially mid workshop??
    Was so stunned for about 2 minutes, it was surreal as can be …. then I remembered Jeannette’s story about her high flying job and how she was so indignant they wanted to fire her!! And I started laughing. I remembered Hannah;s story and thought wow wow wow Ive manifested this SO quickly from just a few thoughts in nthe last 2 weeks. I have never been let go from a job and especially when I thought I was fitting in so well (oh yeah manager’s reason was I wasnt a good fit with the rest of the career counsellors – even as she told me how my energy and quicklearning ability was brilliant but that I was more marketing / businesslike rather than counsellor like …. ) Anyways I just said Im sure there is a great reason for this, and went out with an amazing girl i met from work tuesday and talked about life for 3 hours and i felt FINE! (its almost like i had to stay on till i met her!) and we have so much in common its spooky!!
    And then I thought: what is the good in this?
    1) I can sleep in yay! Hated waking at 7am
    2) I can enjoy summer its only here another month!
    3) I’m being paid for 2 weeks but dont have to go in!
    4) I can admit to myself this job was half of what I wanted, not the full package
    5) My ego was not hurt at ALL that someone as incredible as me was not wanted there anymore!!!
    Could it be that since Im manifesting so much so quickly that the Universe couldnt bear to see me not being true to myself in a job that was only half fulfilling?
    I have no idea what Im going to do now except for TAKE AUGUST OFF AND MAKE IT a Brilliant SUMMER!! And then decide what to do 🙂 This feels good!!
    One more thing: I dreamt this morning that I was in a plane that was plunging to the ground but everyone was calm and that we landed on the water and kept bobbing around there while everyone easily disembarked laughing and chatting that we were still alive and at a gorgeous island!!! A few hours later I saw on today’s news that a plane had made an emergency landing in Manila and everyone was safe. It was eerie…. I looked it up and am going with the 1st option cos even though the plane fell from the skies in my dream it ddnt exactly crash
    Hugeeeeeeeeeeeee post but this is something HUGEE thats happened to me and I am still a bit stunned and amazed and looking forward to how it will unfold…

  • Paul. says:

    Ah, Missy B, I love how you roll–a special friend AND a friend with benefits AND aligning yourself with Available and Into You and other good stuff you deserve. You go, girl!
    Nicholas, “Lyrics of Possibility”…very cool. I’m always impressed bythe courage and generosity of people who blog. As you can tell by my earlier post, lyrics are a slippery subject for me (I think George Carlin had a bit about people like me). I got the idea of “musical mantras” from how easily songs can get stuck in my head. I love to get amped up by an up song (must be why many are dance tracks)–even to the point of bouncing around and belting them out. It’s cool to see that we are inspired by several of the same songs, including Peregrine John’s choice of Something Coming. (The neighbors have asked me to refrain from Sondheim; something about annoying the kitties.)

  • Iyabo says:

    Jeanette, this was an awesome post. It cleared up so much for me. I think sometimes we are scared to be so detailed about what we want because we think we may not get it. A limiting belief.
    Awesome post. I used it this week on a legal matter and it worked out far better than anyone could have expected.
    Lots of love.

  • Now you’re cooking with gas, Missy B!! WOO HOO!!

    Thanks for sharing the thought that’s serving you – I’m positive others will benefit from it as well. 🙂

  • Missy B says:

    I just lurve it here !
    I did a bit of Florence Shinn on my situation. Briefly as not to bore, not only do I have my special friend, but I have a friend with benefits too. When I find myself anxious, or carried away with thoughts of the unhelpful kind I repeat this saying to change my vibe … if either … or … are meant for me, neither will pass me by, but if they are not, then I don’t want them, and instead, instantly attract the divinely right one for me. The weird thing here is, since I’ve been saying it, my feelings for special friend have increased, yet feelings for benefit friend have subsided. I like the way this saying allows for me to observe the situation…detached as it were.
    In the meantime I’m with Kim on the creating an abundance of avaialble men that are so into us. And with Jeannette on turning round the he’s not my type thoughts and working on that the guy for me knows he’s the guy for me. Who knows, special friend might just realise he does want me, and if not, another guy will be along shortly who does want me.
    What fun this is !

  • Nicholas says:

    I love that, Paul! I’ve been collecting songs with LOA purposes in my (unfortunately ignored) blog, a collection I’m calling The Lyrics of Possibility. I’ll keep your musical mantras in mind for when I add more!

  • Paul, I love the way you said that: that worrying is just segment intending for an outcome we don’t want. Well put! That’s a point I often make with clients, and I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who sees it this way.

    You also share with us one of my favorite lessons I picked up from my dad … He never said he was “unemployed,” but rather just “between jobs.”

    Big difference in the vibe there, huh?

    And I am SO with you in going with the lyrics that we make up ourselves!!

    You’re my hero three times over with this post, Paul. Thank you for it!

  • Paul. says:

    Once again you guys have my mind racing in different directions, exploring various nooks and crannies of my mind (some of them complete with cobwebs).
    I have to confess that I need to remember to consciously segment-intend more often. I make that minor distinction because I’ve realised that worrying is just segment-intending for an outcome I don’t want. I usually remind myself that “worry is a gross misuse of imagination” and then reorient my thoughts and feelings towards a better result.
    But I love the direction this post has taken: the wonderful world of dating! One of my first lessons in Deliberate Creation around this topic. I’d noticed that all the people who complained that “all the good ones are taken” got more of that; taken “good ones.” And “taken” good ones were not what I wanted.
    So I’ve resisted that type of thinking. I’ve noticed in my travels that my friends who held onto that philosophy not only didn’t see the “good ones” who weren’t taken right in front of them but also used that thought process as an excuse for no longer trying, which was such a shame. (And, as Leslie points out, not how the rest of Nature does it.) Oh, and I finally figured out, so what if they’re “taken;” they have friends, don’t they?
    I’m just learning about The Work, Jeannette, and I love how it calls into question so many of my pre-programmed beliefs.
    On my days “in between” (dates/relationships/dalliances/etc.), I play a game. I think, Jeannette, it may be what you mean by “ordering.” As I see someone attractive, I say to the Universe “Thank you. Yes, please, more of that.” And I take full advantage of Abraham’s permission that I don’t have to take that person fully as is, just the qualities that appeal to me. So sometimes, it becomes “Thank you. Yes, please, more of that but with the warm smile we saw earlier.” And, sometimes, I have to have a chat with the Universe, “Thank you but remember how we talked about Available and Chews with Mouth Closed? More of that, please.” I find it great fun, keeps me alert and involved (especially during those times I would much rather retreat into the wallpaper) and it often takes the “pressure” off of me.
    Missy B, I so can relate to the concept of “type” (one of the earlier questions that comes up in my dating pool) and I know I take myself out of the game when I’m feeling like I’m not their type. (Yeah, guys do it, too.) I like Jeannette’s observation that he’s not with those other girls any more and her empowering suggestion to add “into me” as part of my laundry list for my type.
    Oh, and if I’m lucky, when I’m playing my game, maybe one of my “musical mantras” will provide the soundtrack for the game. (Can you believe that I just learned yesterday that the Leona Lewis song I’d been singing–in my head–as “Keep B’lievin, Keep Keep B’lievin in Love” has completely different title and lyrics–from the ones I’d made up? I like my version better. 😉 )
    And, Jeannette, it sure sounds like the summer was a wonderful time. It got me thinking, because I use the same phrase too: “so much fun, it must have been illegal.” I think I’m gonna change it in my head to “so much fun, it’s gotta be legal.” I don’t think they’d allow me to post here from jail.

  • Kim, I would like to formally thank you for your manifesting efforts that put perfect men on this planet! I’ve been enjoying them immensely, and am thrilled that you’re ready to join the party! lol
    And you’re exactly right – it’s the releasing of struggle/tension/anxiety/stress – whatever you want to call it – that floods your world with guys and their dogs once you start seeing someone. I love how that works. It just goes to prove how many there are when we’re not thinking there aren’t any!
    Wow, that sentence is hard to understand.
    Anyway, I’m joining you and Missy B in thoughts of great guys everywhere – the planet is crawling with them – everywhere we turn, there’s yet ANOTHER great guy. It’s practically ridiculous!! Universe makes a nice point when we let it. 😉

  • Kim Falconer says:

    Hi Jeannette!
    Thank you for your wonderful suggestions! Yes, great guys are getting divorced every day! I love that. Of course there are! And there are so many gorgeous, perfect sweeties out there that are all in for a treat when they land a date with me–I mean, I’m fun, they’re fun, it just gets better and better.
    And thank you for the hottie comment–I’ve never included the idea that they were really in to me so I’ve probably filled the earth with perfect men for other women. lol I’ve done the Byron Katie on the old paradigm this morning–all the good men are taken? More like all the good men are taken with me! There are plenty to go around!–It it would be great if we all did that–dislodged from the notion that there is a lack of partners in the world. If 1 percent of the collective changes their belief, it shifts for everyone!
    And yes, if I start seeing someone, every guy and their dog wants to know me! lol I guess that’s because I let go of struggle, yes?
    Missy B? Let’s spend a few moments over the next week with different thoughts–there are an abundance of great guys everywhere, and oh boy are we their type! Let’s see where that takes us!
    Thank you everyone!
    Kim xxx

  • Okay, Judi, even stranger to me than getting inspiration from a spider is thinking of a fly as my dream come true. ha!
    Here’s to all of our beautiful webs, no matter what number we’re on and how far along we are with it!
    And with that, I’m off to look for (spider) web art online. Thanks, Judi, for taking the analogy to a very useful place.

  • Judi says:

    Leslie, Love the spider’s web analogy. It is just great!!
    Where would a spider get if everytime it spun a web and one of us went crashing through it, it threw it’s hands (all eight of ’em!) in the air, threw a hissy fit and decided – “No more – that’s the last web I spin. It didn’t deliver and some hulking cosmic force came along and wrecked the lot. Nope, I’ll just sit in this corner now and sulk. Webspinning doesn’t work.”
    He gives it another go and bingo – in comes a fly and his dreams and desires are delivered!!
    We just need to get back out there and spin another web!
    Thanks for that Leslie, it’s a beautiful story and something I will bring to mind now whenever my web falls apart and my “stuff” doesn’t arrive.
    Love to all. Judi

  • It shouldn’t surprise me, John, that you would come up with both an inspiring Zen saying as well as a quote from West Side Story. lol

    You’re a hoot!

    I love them both, which is also no surprise. The Zen saying in particular is hitting home today. Way to access detachment! Thanks for that, my friend. 🙂

  • Peregrine John says:

    Leslie, you’re a genius. That’s the most marvelously useful observation and metaphor (in adjoining comments!) that could have possibly come my way. I was smiling and laughing along with everyone (“Yep, I hear ya – oh, I’ve done that too! – wow, are we a silly bunch of primates – ah, irony, chiefest of cosmic humors!”) when your comments came along like a poke in the brain. I mean that in the best of ways. Like truth coming along and pointing, saying, “No, I mean you.”
    This all reminds me of a couple of things I’ve mentioned before. Forgive the repetition, but after all, that’s what mantras are for:
    “Things do not happen to me. Things happen.” – Zen saying
    “The air is humming, ’cause something great is coming. Who knows…” – from West Side Story

  • Laugher – good way to stay connected and on track, Leslie! Thanks for that!

    And the spider web example – finding a better place to ground the magic – I love it. Hmm. Never got inspiration from a spider before, I don’t think. lol

    Thanks for sharing this, Leslie. You are wonderful!

  • leslie Richter says:

    I got up this morning and the sun was shining through into the living room. And I saw a single strand of spider web from the love seat to the coffee table and then at a 90 degrees angle another cobweb strand from the coffe table to where ever.
    I was touched, amazed and snorted with humor yeah – good try spider. But the wonderful thing is you know it will just start all over again, hopefully outside!
    So people, get going with your magic and your cobwebs and if you picked the most traveled space to start your cobweb. Learn from that and find I better place to ground your magic in. Create support for your wishes and desires.
    Love Leslie

  • leslie Richter says:

    Could this blog get any funner? You guys are so wonderful and thank God Jeannette is in our universe!!!!!
    One of the many wonderful things Jeannette teaches us about manifesting is not to take it personally. It is almost like we have a mindset that we only get three wishes so you tentatively put out to the universe and then run to the corner when you don’t like what you got. Or even better let’s have a temper tantrum and say well we will never try that again.
    So first off let’s get a handle on the fact you can keep on asking and fine tunning. Maybe it’s like my friend who made a wish list for her meditation tape and then the people sent her suggestions that blew her wishes out of the water. In other words just keep striving for a better fit and don’t take it personally if you didn’t quite mean that.
    It’s almost like ego gets into the way ( again?). And reallllly what does it have to do with anything – so your conjuring up sucked, it will be better tomorrow. Is that a reason to get your ego involved and not try again.
    Naaaa…the more you can laugh at yourself the more you know you are on track.
    Love Leslie

  • You know what I’d do with that thought, Missy B? I’d think it was a GOOD sign that I wasn’t like the other girlies he’s dated, because he’s only dated them – it’s a different kind of girl (perhaps different like ME) that he would choose as a life partner. (I almost said married but that vibe didn’t do it for me.)
    But then, I would ALSO have in mind that my perfect guy/date. One thing I know about my perfect guy (this is just how I do it) is that he KNOWS I’m the one for him. So if this guy didn’t know it, I’d know he’s not my guy.
    (I did run into a few of those guys , but they were easy to sift out of the mix because they weren’t measuring up to what I was ordering up. And all I did was appreciate how they measured up in OTHER ways – so I was focused squarely on what I WANTED, not what I didn’t want. That makes it real easy for Universe to deliver.)
    Fun topic!!
    Thanks for posting, Missy B. I like what your love life has in store for you. 🙂

  • Missy B says:

    Oh yes Kim – it’s a well known fact amongst my single friends that there is a lack of men. I say fact with tongue in cheek, but it may as well be written in law. I choose not to suscribe to that one. My problem is I look at men and think that I won’t be their “type”. And back to my special friend I mentioned earlier. I’d love him to be more but I am convinced he hasn’t made a move because I am soooo not his type compared to the other girlies I’ve known him to date.
    Jeannette – yes I knew the answer. And from what I have written above, you can see I am probably too attached to the outcome. I loved the tips you gave to Kim. And if nothing else, I can intend to have much fun with my friend and intend that I meet a great, good looking, available and into me guy as well. You never know … it might just be the same guy ! ;0)
    Thanks for posting as always.

  • Alora, I feel the same way about you!!
    Thanks for sending some good energy our way. You are loved and adored!

  • Kim, you’re making me laugh!
    Here’s where I would go with it:
    First, next time with my intention I might add that I’m going to meet someone amazing and available and very “into me” tonight!
    (That trumps the experience that you meet a great single guy who isn’t interested … not that that would ever happen to YOU, you hottie! But I’ve learned personally that it’s a good instruction to include.)
    Second, the antidote for such a universal belief … my first thought is that there’s a great guy getting divorced EVERY day. (And I personally prefer the divorced ones because it’s not their first rodeo and they’ve learned a thing or two about what NOT to do.)
    But that thought won’t be effective for everyone … so fish around for one that DOES work for you.
    Have you ever been involved with someone and notice that you meet great guys left and right? D’oh – I hate when that happens! lol
    And it happens often enough to confirm my belief that this planet is CRAWLING with great men (and great women)! They’re EVERYWHERE – it’s ridiculous – and almost reason enough to stay single!
    How about doing some Byron Katie magic on it? Is it true? Can you know that it’s true? How does it make you feel when you think that thought? How would you be different if you were incapable of thinking that thought? And the turnaround to finish it off. (www.thework.com for those unfamiliar.)
    I also like the visual of disconnecting from that thought pool. Because you’re right, there are plenty of people adding energy to that thought, and it would be easy to get sucked into it if I didn’t know better … if I didn’t know I had a CHOICE. I’m opting OUT. Instead, I’m plugging into the thought pool that there are more fabulous men than I’ll ever be able to date in one lifetime. (Thank God for reincarnation.) AND, because I know my thoughts are powerful, SO IT IS.
    As I think, so it is.
    So I just find my way to a new thought.
    Long answer to an excellent question. I bet you and others reading have approaches that work, too … let’s hear them!

  • Alora says:

    I LOVE your blog! This was such a great post, as always. You explain yourself so clearly, with such great examples, it is so easy to learn and be inspired (and smile until my cheeks hurt) while reading your writing.
    Thank you for doing what you do!
    🙂 Alora

  • Kim Falconer says:

    Hi Jeannette and Everyone!
    Is it universal then? That thought that all the good guys are taken? I’m on the other side of the world and all my single girl friends say that too!
    I realized I think it as well . . .I was invited to a fabulous party the other night(much like your party Jeannette!) –full moon rising over the trees, huge pavilion with fairy lights everywhere, fire dancers, great band, open bar, food from heaven, men in tuxedos, women slinky as, and what I was thinking was, ‘I’m going to meet someone amazing tonight!’
    And I did. He was gorgeous, articulate, funny, ludicrously intelligent, great dancer and so easy to talk to. He was also married and the first thing that crossed my mind was, ‘Of course….he’s too good to be single!’
    Whoa! Stop the movie!
    What did I say? If that could slip out of my mind then it had been there the whole time.
    Jeannette, your post is spot on perfect timing. Thank you so much for bringing this to light. Do you have an antidote for such a universal belief? What’s the best way to deactivate a deeply ingrained thought held by so many?
    Wonderful work as always,
    xxx Kim

  • Good question, Missy B. And the answer depends on how it makes you feel.
    If you can imagine a specific person and feel good and light and easy and unattached and open – I think you’re home free. If he/she helps you get to the good feeling even better than imagining a generic or “fuzzy face” person – then go for it!
    But, if you imagine a specific person and feel narrowed down or honed in on or even a little anxious or tense or doubting because you’re not really sure how it’s gonna happen with this particular person – that’s not serving you.
    No rights or wrongs about it – it’s just a matter of what best takes you to a feeling of positive expectation and belief.
    I’ve got a feeling you knew that and just wanted confirmation, right?
    What happened to the guy, you ask .. ha .. he’s a happy single guy still – last I heard (we still exchange emails on occasion). We had a FABULOUS trip and I never saw him again. tee hee I mean, I manifested a TON of great guys, and got to know lots of them. One at a time. (More or less. lol)
    Is it any wonder I was single as long as I was? How could you help it when you’re having THAT much fun?
    I’m telling you, Missy B, it was the most fun summer of my life. I met the greatest guys ever, went to places I’ve never been before, listened to music I’d never heard, ate food I’d never tasted, wakeboarded, hiked, biked, bellydanced, attended symphonies in the canyon, heard stories I’d never heard, and saw life like I never would have otherwise. Met some of the best people of my life that year. It was amazing!
    And all the while my girlfriends complained there were no good guys left in Utah. WhatEVER! lol This place is loaded with them! EVERY place is! When we open up to that belief, anyway.

  • Missy B says:

    I need to ask a question please ! Or two !
    Firstly – what happened to this guy !?
    Secondly – so many folks say not to visualise a specific bloke/girly when doing this stuff. And I understand that and why. But is it wrong to imagine having a good time with the other person in the equation ? OK, so “wrong” is not the best possible word to use here bearing in mind that right and wrong is a matter of prespective … but you get my drift I hope.

  • Actually, Tia, your approach there makes sense in that it’s very allowing.

    I mean, you said what you wanted, but you weren’t attached to it, and that’s always a good thing!

    Maybe if you did more than HOPE to meet him .. like maybe expected to. 😉

    I just finished the rest of your post, Tia, and girlfriend -you are on a roll!! You don’t need any tips from me, so I’ll just get out of your way and let you enjoy your good time! WOO HOO!!

    Please keep us updated, Tia!

  • Tia says:

    Haha how cool! And OMG sooo freaky … I just signed up on an internet site about a week ago thinking I would love to meet MY man but if not, heck i’ll make some friends … I guess thats not being very focused ay? Im hoping to meet him but also saying its okay if I dont… Ok Im going back to the site right now and removing the part that says Im looking for a relationship / friend / activity partner and changing it to relationship only!!!
    Of the 80+ matches that were sent to me I find myself fancying just 2 that meet my ‘list’ so far – a lot of them have similar qualities but these 2 are HOT as well and I’m with you there Jeannette, I want the entire package 😀 !! Funnily, since I signed up, I’ve had a couple of guys I met a few weeks ago (not online) express interest in me … I’m not that into them but enjoying the attention and the situation for all its worth and … makes me so excited to think its happening, its happening hee hee >: )
    Here goes me manifesting a fun and brilliant dating summer too seeing as I’ve already done a fantastic job of manifesting new activities and new friends to go to concerts and other free outdoor stuff in just 1.5 short months in my new apartment and new life. How awesome!! Giggityyy!

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