What Were You Thinking?
– A client reports that her interview didn’t turn out as she’d hoped.
– A good friend is excited about the raffle she won at the charity event last night.
– My best friend says none of our foster kitties got adopted over the weekend.
– My father-in-law says his hospital test results turned out great.
– A client reveals that none of his leads panned out.
Whether surprised or excited or discouraged about their results, each situation invites the same question: “What were you thinking?”
Or some variation of that question:
- “Did I pre-pave it?”
- “What did I think would happen?”
- “What was I expecting?”
When we can link up what we had in mind prior to the event, it’s pretty simple to see how our thoughts create our results. That connection inspires us to be more deliberate in future events.
Favorite Example: a couple of years ago I went on my first internet date. It was awful. So awful that had I been famous, I’d known I was being punked. It seemed impossible to contrive so many awful things in just one night. But there it was – happening in real life. Unbelievably ridiculous!
I promptly returned home to email the handful of other guys I’d been chatting with online. I told them my girlfriends were right; I was crazy to meet men online – and I would definitely NOT do it again.
Which led me to wonder what made for such a miserable experience. “What was I thinking?”
Well, I’d been thinking I’d give it a try. I thought I’d check out what everyone was talking about with online dating. In the back of my mind I was also thinking how my girlfriends thought I was nuts. But I still thought I’d see what would happen.
“See what happens?” Okay, that’s not very deliberate! Jeannette, you can do better than THAT!
I laughed when I realized I hadn’t pre-paved the date. Hadn’t even put together a list of traits, qualities and characteristics I wanted in a guy! Can you imagine?!
What could I expect when I hadn’t given Universe proper instruction about what I wanted?!
Well, that doesn’t happen twice.
Once I understood that I’d just rolled the Universal dice on that first date, I knew I could do better.
So when a not bad-looking financial planner/photographer wrote suggesting to “get back on that horse, kind woman!” I eventually agreed to meet him for lunch.
This time, I imagined myself laughing so hard my cheeks hurt. I held thoughts of what a pleasure it was to get to know someone new. I fancied feeling an immediate mutual attraction. I pre-enjoyed how crystal clear he was in letting me know he was interested in seeing me again (because if I was having THIS much fun, I’d definitely want to do it again)! I imagined the ease of our conversation. I loved that he was intelligent, funny, considerate, and hot hot hot!
And guess what? The attraction was so immediate I could feel it before he even crossed the parking lot. I think I even blushed when I shook his hand! Over lunch, I laughed so hard my cheeks hurt. I never had so much fun getting to know someone new. Our conversation was natural, easy and incredibly enjoyable. He was funny and smart and sweet … and did I mention hot?! Man, he was hot.
By the time I got home from lunch, there was an email waiting from him. He was “breaking all the internet dating rules” and inviting me to a weekend getaway. tee hee
(That meets my request that he was clear about wanting to see me again.)
Guess what happened next?
I pre-paved a magnificent summer of dating! It got better and better each date with each guy! In fact, I had so much fun, it must have been illegal. Words can’t describe the amount of fun I had!
All because I got clear about what I was thinking. No more rolling the dice, seeing what happened. I got crystal clear with Universe about what to deliver.
(And man, did Universe deliver! Sheesh , what a fun summer.)
I’d love to hear what inspires YOU to pay attention to what you’re thinking. How do you remember to segment intend, pre-pave, or hold the outcome you want in mind before you start? Thanks in advance for sharing your inspiration with us!
PS – the photo here is of one of the slot canyons we hiked in the southern part of Utah on our second date. Fun fun fun!