What's Real, Anyway?

realityI have to admit that although I pride myself on being open to new possibilities (and thus new realities), there are some things that even I take for granted

For example, that microwaved food is not healthy.  And that deep breathing is.  That sleeping with the tv on is not a good habit, and that giving to charity is.
I mean, there are some things we can always count on, right?  Those things are the “givens” in our world.  It’s what we KNOW.
Sometimes, though, what we KNOW doesn’t serve us.  And when that’s the case, it’s important to remember that nothing’s set in stone.
Lately, it seems, there’s been a lot of evidence that reminds me to question what I “know.”
Including Garrett Gunderson’s Killing Sacred Cows, where he says many things we financial planners were taught as rock solid truths actually don’t serve the average investor. 
Gunderson’s argument was so convincing that I started rethinking investment principles I’ve assumed true for decades.  (Including that regular savings, added up over time, benefiting from the power of compound interest growth, is a super solid investment strategy.
Maybe, maybe not.
My world was turned even more upside down after reading an article outlining several important medical benefits from indoor tanning.  (Health benefits from tanning beds?!  I gotta say I like it!)
Late last year I heard a very credible doctor tell me the best way to lose weight was to get more sleep.  (Which fit perfectly with the “I lose weight while I sleep” mantra I’d just created.) 
Fellow coach Zoe Routh recently introduced me to a resource designed to improve health by correcting the “over oxygenation” most people experience. 
There’s such a thing as too much deep breathing??   
Is nothing sacred?
Apparently not.  Last year I was talking to a highly esteemed scientist (his title too complex to remember right), and he said that there is no real evidence that microwaves are  bad for us.  I’d chalk him up to crazy, if I hadn’t recently heard that 31,000 scientists have signed their name to a petition denying global warming.
What about eating salads, right?  We all know leafy greens are good for us – the more the better!  “A salad a day” was what I was taught to strive for. 
And yet, at the Chopra Center’s “Perfect Health” week retreat, I learned through ayurvedic study of my imbalanced doshas that I needed to stop eating salads and instead eat heavier foods (like sour cream, guacamole, mm!). 
What else do we know for sure?  That terrorists attacked the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001?  Don’t be so sure.
Kim Falconer’s explanation of reality served to scramble even more ideas about what’s real and what’s not.  (Thanks for a scientific perspective I can understand, Kim!)
I don’t share these various examples to suggest we stop saving or recycling or exercising or breathing deeply, but rather to just to remind us to question what “realities” we’d change if we could.
Because, indeed, we can.

  • February 5, 2009
  • Kim Falconer says:

    Hi Jonathan,
    I’m not certain what the question is but your thoughts about Truth I can comment on.
    The truth is whatever you want it to be.
    You can find hard evidence in favor of anything. Raw milk is good for you? Plenty of evidence. Raw milk is not good for you–plenty of evidence for that too.
    As Will Smith says, ‘2 + 2 = whatever I what it to be.’
    You decide.
    It’s the opposite of x-files. The truth isn’t out there; The truth is inside you.
    If you let go of what others think of you or of anything else and tune into your higher guidance, YOUR truth becomes self evident.
    And your truth is the one that counts 🙂
    🙂 Kim

  • Jonathan says:

    Kim? or someone? I seem to have gotten here a few months late. Hey there, my name is Jonathan. Would it be too much trouble to give me a hand with a… well let’s call it a “potential reality question?” See, I’m a growing coach myself (CHEK Holistic Lifestyles Coach), and I’m truly just beginning my research. I’ve got my supportive parents to be my first ”Clients”, and am at a road block.
    The whole of my program is to help others eat, move, and be healthy. (I’ll avoid any further plugs.) But the thing is, I’m having a heck of a time researching credible sources for the TRUTH! It’s never been so hard for me to find: Important people that others listen to, who have the truth in hand, and aren’t getting assassinated, slandered, scandalized, contradicted by other credible sources, or just plain drowned in the sea of (intended?) confusion that is our government’s policy on food and health.
    I need help. I feel nobody will listen to me. The Kooks to my left believe, support, encourage, etc. my search. But I’ve got to tell you, these people are already a bit crazy, and those with money usually don’t listen to eccentrics and bohemians. (So bye bye reputation, an important factor in changing the world, right?)
    On the other hand, the Obdurates to my right require so much organization, science, scientists, scientific institution, and government acknowledgment that any truth found dies by the time it gets through the bureaucracy!
    I need direction! I need a base of operations that anybody searching could say, “Yes, Raw milk is good for you, definitely, because this place says so, and no other place is better to say otherwise.”
    So… I hope I didn’t flood this place in an incorrect manner. But I was inspired by the way you people spoke to each other and your portrayed values. I just thought that maybe you had a few guiding principles or even knowledge related to what I’m looking for. That’s all. Thanks for anything given.

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  • Bob says:

    These facts are great! Do post some quotes too. I am looking for some quotes or sayings to be placed on my site. 🙂

  • Maria says:

    When it comes to beliefs and health, I sometimes tell clients my “Jesus could have lived on Twinkies” theory.
    Basically it says that Jesus (or anyone else on the leading edge) was so in the flow that he could have easily lived on nothing but Twinkies and been perfectly nourished and healthy.
    And so can we (Woo Hoo!!!)
    But until we get there, we incrementally do what feels good, release a few of those limiting beliefs, do a bit more, release a bit more and so on.
    I also point out that often people have absolutely NO reaction to certain foods until someone tells them they’re bad for them. So I wonder….are health conditions caused by diet and lifestyle or are they caused by suggestions that become accepted beliefs?
    Oh and a really great resource on this is Bruce Lipton’s The Biology of Belief (http://www.brucelipton.com/). His work is amazing and will give you an entirely different perspective on everything!

  • Michael says:

    This is great…I’m bookmarking it. I remember hearing a Deepak Chopra quote that said (paraphrase) ‘you can eat dogfood and still thrive if you are in the right mindset’. People get on my case about Diet Pepsi…but in fact, I don’t like coffee, and staying awake to care for my young son was made much more ‘enjoyable’ by cracking open an aspertame-laden, overpriced Diet Pepsi. In fact, I have so many Diet Pepsi cans, I’m going to cash them in and take the family to a water park next summer.
    What I’ve seen about certain of my health-conscious friends is that their so health-conscious, they’re getting sick! It’s all they think about…’this is bad, gotta eat that good thing to offset all this baadddd’. That’s why I can drink Diet Pepsi like a fiend and still look ten years younger than I am, blow off the P90X diet book and eat nachos and still be in good shape.
    My dad is one of those scientists (mathematician actually) who is somewhat vocally opposed to the idea of global warming as a ‘threat’. My personal take on it is this…even if it is a threat, do we want to focus on that? Seems to me a lot of ‘threats’ or ‘truths’ we’ve encountered in the past (Y2K, the four food groups, etc) ended up being ways for us to be afraid and for others to profit from our fear.
    I was no Obama fan, but decided…’hey I have to see this guy’s mug for the next four years…let’s create him as a super-great leader who I’m going to like hearing about at every turn’. I’m already starting to like him and certain of his policies better!

  • Angie says:

    A very good post, and some good information. And yes, microwaved food is definitely not good for you: it diminished the nutritional quality of the foods, namely vegetables. Steam them instead.

  • Konstantin says:

    Some people believe that sadness and deficiency is reality, happiness and success is a fantasy. These labels in my mind are not concrete. I know the reverse is also equally true. Bliss is real just like the freedom to label and to choose.
    We need more leaders like you! Thanks.

  • Jim Patterson says:

    This was a great one for me today as I need to make sure that some of the bad things that happened today have not happened “to me”.
    Acknowledging an occurrence doesn’t mean taking emotional ownership of it. For me this is the empowering thought regarding creating our own reality…
    This can be particularly challenging within close personal relationships but it can be done!
    Hope this makes sense to you within the context of the post. I frequently find your posts relevant to tangential
    topics I am interacting with, Jeanette.
    Probably one of the reasons I love your blog so much!
    Jim Patterson’s last blog post..Renaming The Law Of Attraction

  • Tristin says:

    Thanks Jeannette!
    I’ll look out for Zoe and Kim.
    You are an Inspiration!
    luv Tristin X

  • Yay, Tristin! It’s nice to welcome another LOA Coach to the ranks!
    I’m looking forward to hearing more from you about your work soon. Please let me know how I can be of support on your coaching journey, my friend!
    PS – do you know Zoe Routh? She’s in your neck of the woods, too. (Not to mention Kim Falconer who doesn’t officially work as an LOA Coach, but may as well for all the lives she’s transforming!)

  • Tristin says:

    Hi there Jeannette!
    My name is Tristin (I’m a female Tristin), and I am from Western Australia.
    I am soo happy to have found your Site! I am a Vegan for the simple reason that I love animals, so I love it that you share your love of dogs with us often.
    I am studying to become a Life-Coach and want to specialize in the Law of Attraction like you do. I have also read from sum of your other write ups that you also believe that remaining physically young.I believe that it must be more to do with our beliefs than anything else, since the evidence says we are obviously eternal. Eternally changing sure, but surely we an re-create a younger version of ourselves. In responce to your we create our reality blog, I have found that at 37yrs, I look more like 27yrs. I think it’s whatever we focus on, so if you focus on looking young, this will lead you to finding ways to look that way.
    I hope this wasn’t too much off the track but I just wanted to let you know I appreciate your work, sooo much, Sorry I could chat to you forever because I love the way you think! I look forward to all your stuff Jeannette!

  • Sounds like valuable work, Brenda! I’m sure many people get great benefit from this approach. And even more would/will when they find out this is available to them!
    Thanks for posting with more info. Much appreciated!

  • I’m back again!
    I completely resonate with what Kim says. — If we choose to believe we are going to struggle financially (or whatever the belief is), then that is the experience we will draw towards ourselves. She played “hooky” to get away from the panic and worry, and by doing so, she pulled towards her experiences that were completely different and not aligned with panic and worry!
    So, there are many ways to shift or clear beliefs. (Of course, I am only talking about negative beliefs or those that no longer serve us!) Kim demonstrated one way. A cognitive/behavioral one, so to speak. (Kim hope you don’t mind that I am using your post as an example!! It was just so great!) She changed her behavior (and most likely her thoughts as well).
    In the practice of Soul Realignment, the practitioner can access the client’s misbeliefs/negative beliefs/limiting beliefs via the Akashic Records. And, then proceed to clear them.
    Sometimes beliefs run very deep and are hard for the person/client to pinpoint themselves; They have either been carried over from a previous lifetime or are just not identifiable by the conscious mind. So, the person/client keeps stumbling over experiences caused by these underlying beliefs without understanding why they are manifesting such experiences.
    Clearing work via Soul Realignment is an excellent healing resource for this situation!
    Hope this clarifies!

  • Congrats, Kat! That’s a valuable journey to have made!
    And JM, I offered that 9/11 link as yet another catalyst to inspire us to question things we might normally take for granted.
    Thanks for reading and especially for posting, both of you!

  • JM says:

    Wow Jeanette. The link about 9/11 has completely altered my world. I may never get to sleep again. While absolutely horrifying, it is also highly inspiring to remember my power to create my own far less destructive bullshit.

  • Kat says:

    What an excellent topic! My family of origin frequently thinks my view of reality is “wrong”, and their view is “right”. I spent much time arguing with them about this… guess what – our views of our own realities never changed! I am now able to accept them for who they are and how they see things, and continue to allow myself to evolve within my own reality [which I continue to be so in love with!] Thanks for the wonderful post, Jeannette, and the great replies, Everyone! I love all the blog links – so many more people to get to know!!

  • Kim Falconer says:

    You guys are making me smile so bright! Absolutely beaming here. 🙂
    And Janette, that is fabulous news about Orbit’s option on your manuscript. This is a wonderful opportunity. Bravo. Email me if you need a fan to cheer you on!
    It’s nurturing to be part of a community that doesn’t take reality seriously! I love you guys!
    🙂 Kim

  • You’re not alone, Michelle! I’ve received several emails from people telling me how brilliant Kim is!! lol
    I KNOW!!!
    She’s a gem. Think I could talk her into co-blogging here? Or at least guest posting?? mmmm …
    It’s fabulous to hear from you, Michelle. Thanks for reading and for writing! Much appreciated. 🙂

  • Michelle Dobbins says:

    Kim, I love your comment! I immediately wrote ” I creating what happens next!” on a sticky note and put it up on my computer. That’s such a great belief!

  • Brenda, I’m getting the impression you are well studied on identifying and releasing said beliefs?
    Would love to hear more, if so!

  • What a great post!
    I definitely think we engage in certain beliefs or realities because they either serve us well or give us a false sense of security that we may need at that given time. The more we believe in those ideas or realities, the more we will manifest their occurunce.
    Often, we forget to clear these beliefs from our system when they are no longer useful or are limiting our perspective. We can get stuck in the rut of “Why does this keep happening to me?” — Forgetting that we have an underlying belief that is causing us to manifest just that experience!
    When we do decide to be aware of our belief systems and to clear the limiting ones, we can then become conscious creators of our own reality, picking and choosing our beliefs and direction. When a reality no longer serves us, we can shift directions in a way that is in our best interest.
    Brenda|Soul Realignment’s last blog post..Are You Ready to Serve? Yes!

  • YOU’RE the brilliant one, Bridget, that you’re already doing the quantum physics work described in Kim’s article! woo hoo!
    I’m following your link …
    And Bonni, can I just say THANK YOU for helping me to release any lingering guilt about the chocolate soy milk I always have stocked in the fridge?! lol
    I love it!
    Thanks, too, for the George Harrison quote. I’m tweeting it!

  • bonni says:

    Due to health concerns, I recently changed my diet to be Low GI (and yes, it works for losing weight and is very easy to follow). The thing that surprised me is that things I had traditionally assumed to be “not on the diet” if you’re losing weight are fine, and things you’d never think of as stuff you should avoid are, well, things you should avoid.
    For example, potatoes. They are healthy, yes, but most varieties are very high on the glycemic index, and therefore have to be approached with caution. Potatoes. Who knew? But pasta is low GI, and so is chocolate milk, of all things. Chocolate milk! Who would have thought?!
    Anyway, this doesn’t really have to do with “reality”, per se, but it does have to do with “things we know” or at least think we know. I thought I knew that chocolate milk was something I shouldn’t have, but I’ve been having it pretty regularly and I’m still losing weight, so I guess I didn’t know as much as I thought I did.
    To quote George Harrison, “The farther one travels, the less one knows, the less one really knows.” 🙂

  • Bridget says:

    I’m going back to my guacamole.
    Kim’s explanation of Quantum physics blew my mind, and explained the work I do! I’ve been looking for an explanation!
    You two are brilliant.

  • Christopher says:

    What a great post (and blog). This is my first time here and now I know I’ll be back!
    Wonderful food for thought.
    Christopher’s last blog post..The 100 Most Beautiful Words

  • Christopher, that sure makes my day to hear from a new reader! Thank you for pitching in and introducing yourself.
    Looking forward to hearing more soon! 🙂

  • OMG how cute – you have commentluv on!! I love it 😀 I want it on my new website too, will DM you now!
    Tia Singh aka @TiaSparkles’s last blog post..Secrets to Raising Happy Kids – It’s not what you think!

  • Here’s what comes to mind: A doctor who didn’t know a certain type of a severe and incurable body rash was incurable. He used total mind power and an unfaltering belief in his ability to cure this affliction – and he did.
    Later he was told it was the 1st and only case in the world (darn, can’t remember who the doctor was or the name of this rashy, diseasey thing) that had been succesfully treated and he was shocked to know that.
    Well whatdya know – he tried getting the same results with other similar patients after and could’nt cure even ONE more!!
    Changed his reality by knowing what he previously didn’t? I’d say!!
    Tia Singh aka @TiaSparkles’s last blog post..Secrets to Raising Happy Kids – It’s not what you think!

  • Oh my gosh, the doctor let himself get trained into a limiting belief?!! Argh!!
    Sure feels frustrating to hear that, but I guess the good news is that you’re sharing the story with us now, reinforcing to all of us how powerful our beliefs are!
    I wanted to duct tape the mouth of a vocal family member today who was explaining to another family member why his belief that acupuncture was helping his Parkinson’s symptoms was ridiculous. My uncle-in-law went on to tell my uncle that his herbal supplments were a waste of money too, and that those of us taking supplements were being taken advantage of.
    And YET – my uncle (with Parkinsons) was experiencing relief from symptoms!!
    I’m thinking, “Don’t take this away from him!! Let him enjoy his relief however he finds it!”
    Oh gosh, I’m gonna go release a little frustration now. lol
    People!! tsk.
    I’ll let them have their own experience. It’s not my responsibility to … duct tape anyone’s mouth. lol
    Sorry to rant, Tia – your post hit a nerve with me obviously.
    Glad you like the commentluv!

  • Janette says:

    Wow Kim – I SO needed to read your comment!
    I had a manuscript accepted into a ms development program last May, and the publisher (Orbit) has a one-year option on it. It was a wonderful opportunity to get detailed feedback and enthusiastic support from a senior editor. And I came away with a much better book inside my head, just needing me to make time to get it onto the page – some rewriting, some new scenes and plenty of editing.
    And until JUST NOW! – thank you – the pressure I’ve put myself under has made that process so hard!!! Every idea seemed insufficient, I spent HOURS drawing up workplans and deadlines, and my reality said “if you miss this opportunity you will never find a publisher”.
    Aargh! What a terrible reality I bought into!! Even more ironic since the concept behind my novel is opening up to the “non-physical”…
    So, thank you Jeannette and Kim. You do know the Universe is working through you? (Actually, I created both of you specifically for this moment… heheheheh)
    Janette’s last blog post..The Universe loves me!

  • gregorylent says:

    and, of course, how real is that dang i that asks these questions?
    gregorylent’s last blog post..Symbols of the Self – part three

  • How cool is THAT, Janette? I love that you found inspiration in Kim’s story, and that you take full responsibility for this manifestation!
    And glad to do my part to facilitate it. 🙂
    Much love, my friend!

  • MsNikki, to be able to question beliefs and assumptions while you’re experiencing this transition with your work, that speaks to your courage. I think many fall into the habit of clinging to old habits of thoughts when the going gets “rough,” – so huge kudos to you!
    I’m also glad your boyfriend has the good sense to laugh when he hears you say you haven’t done anything with your life! lol He’s showing you the bigger truth with that laughter, huh?
    Thanks for joining the conversation, MsNikki!

  • MsNikki says:

    What an awesome post that coincides with the turbulent economic times! I was raised to believe that working in a reliable government was the key to financial success and stability. After all, corporate hires and fires after all! Well, as it turns out that my local city government was the first to do layoffs which included me! I now realize that I internalized my parents “survival” mode and put up w/a really ugly situation (I *hated* the job towards the end).
    My boyfriend believes that although this is a very uncomfortable time for me that the beauty of it has been that I have questioned and continue to question my beliefs and assumptions. That I can finally blossom into my true creative self at the ripe age of 37! He laughed when I told him that here I am at the very precipice of menopause and I haven’t done sh*t w/my life!

  • Iyabo Asani says:

    The problem with “reality” is that once our brains lock into a perspective that we call “reality” is that we think no further than that. The adventure comes to a conclusion. That is the problem with it. If we understood that reality is but a point on the adventure then we would check out reality and keep moving on.
    Thanks, Jeanette.
    Iyabo Asani’s last blog post..What a wonderful world!

  • Janette says:

    Yes yes yes!! Timely as ever, Jeannette…
    I’ve just spent a week having huge REALisations about the fact that although I’ve stripped away loads and loads of old beliefs that didn’t serve me… lurking underneath were a whole bunch more very ancient ones (“rewards only come from hard work”). And on the way I’d accreted a collection of new ones that were also counterproductive!!
    Lovely to be reminded that we should question EVERY single assumption we make. Even that one, LOL!!
    Janette’s last blog post..The Universe loves me!

  • Well said, Kim! As usual!
    Your story proves it’s not just “lip service” to say that we create our world.
    And how much fun you’re having creating yours!
    WOO HOO!!!!
    So glad to hear we get more novels coming from you! I’ve been cherishing Spell of Rosette slowly so I can draw out the enjoyment of it. lol (That sounds kind of “lack-based” now that I hear myself say it.)
    Thanks, once again, for adding your voice to this blog, my friend. Wouldn’t be the same without you!

  • Ooooh – I like that question, Gregorylent!!
    I like that very MUCH!!
    Please come back and play again! 🙂

  • Kim Falconer says:

    Jeannette!!! I was reading along like a happy little duck and then fell out of the chair when I saw my name! Thank you for bringing my thoughts into this discussion!
    My new saying when I think reality stops me is, ‘I’m creating the world.’
    It’s a good reminder 🙂
    Recently I was looking at the ‘reality’ of the publishing industry. My next step, or so I thought, was to get a good strong draft of my new manuscript idea written, along with the proposal so my agent could present it to my publisher. I felt under pressure. I ‘needed’ to cover the ‘gap’ between my first advance and royalty payments. My agent said it would be at least a year–which meant 8 months of no income or savings.
    I checked in with my vibe and found a fair bit of worry… panic even. So, I immediately stopped working on the proposal (struggling) and went to the beach. I played hooky (it’s called ‘wagging’ here). I said, ‘I’m creating what happens next.’
    Then the universe blew me a kiss–When I got back from the beach, my ex-boss took me to lunch, my gym offered me 12 months renewed membership for 1/4 the price and another friend took me out to dinner! I thought, wow, and I was worried about survival?
    In the morning my publisher called me suggesting we get things rolling for the next contract because wouldn’t I feel more relaxed writing with an advance?
    As Jeannette taught me, ‘Reality’ is whatever you can imagine.
    Here’s to vivid imaginations everyone 🙂
    x Kim

  • Yes, Iyabo, here’s to keeping the adventure fresh and new!! lol
    And Laurie, thanks for the heads up on your blog post … off to check it out now!
    Thanks for checking in on the discussion, you two! 🙂

  • Laurie Foley says:

    Thinking about reality must be in the air! I blogged on “real” this week, too, but your article makes think about another level altogether. Thank you!
    Laurie Foley’s last blog post..To Tell the Truth

  • Couldn’t agree more, Janette. I’ve found the same thing myself. It’s an ongoing commitment to identify beliefs in play and to purposely opt in and/or out.
    Your post makes me think about how one day we’ll look back and laugh at the beliefs we still bought into – even while we talked about it.
    Your reminder that this is ongoing work is reassuring to many who have felt that as a struggle, I’m sure. Thanks, Janette!

  • Yep, Ellie, and isn’t it great to know that’s all it takes?! (Changing where we put our attention?) woo hoo!!
    Dana, funny you would say that, because I found that after I started this post, the topic was popping up for me several times, too!
    How cool it would be to hear Deepak on this topic!
    Thanks for joining the conversation, Ellie and Dana! Much appreciated. 🙂

  • Dana says:

    Reality seems to be the subject du jour! Synchronicity abounds. I just had a discussion with a friend about his reality v. mine. Actually, he is convinced my reality is wrong…and I am amused that he doesn’t understand that my reality is mine and his is his, and they’re both right.
    I clicked on the Chopra Center site today and see that Dr. Chopra is in my area on 2/23 and will be discussion the topic, “What is Reality?”
    Interesting. Great post, Jeannette!

  • Hi Jeannette…
    Great Post….
    We get to change the reality we live in – as we get to choose which reality we put our attention on.
    Ellie Walsh – Living the Law of Attraction’s last blog post..Good Foods vs Bad Foods

  • Eric Shaw says:

    Nice post. From every perspective, and in every aspect of life, from money, to values, to just plain ol’ facts, it is always worth while to questions our assumptions. Im going through it right now starting a new business. We are just about to launch and so now its this whole new real of this project that has only been in our heads for a year and a half is actually going out into the world, and in the most real sense it is unbelievable!
    Eric Shaw’s last blog post..Dealing with Depression

  • Thanks for echoing the wisdom of questioning assumptions, Eric. Sounds like you’re creating quite a bit of success with that!
    And Jeff, you make an excellent point. Sometimes it’s easier to take the action we believe is required than it is to change a strongly ingrained belief.
    Although that may be a belief worth dropping. 😉
    Thanks for commenting you two!

  • First off let me just say this… sour cream? SWEET!
    OK how about this. I know/believe/etc that if I go to the gym, do some weights then cardio that my body responds very, very well. A few times a week, 4 and I’m super golden.
    SO what makes more sense? Go to the gym to get results or change my belief to “all i have to do is drink a protein shake before bed and I shed body fat faster than the govt can spend the US dollar into the history books.” 8^)
    So I guess my question is when do you just take action on what you believe to get the results and when do change what you believe?
    Blue Skies,
    Jeff Atherton’s last blog post..Jeff_Atherton: never would guess how serious by listening to this ATC conversation. Air traffic tapes of Hudson plane crash released http://bit.ly/2ZqGUQ

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