What's Your Commitment?

Have you ever been in conversation with someone who was griping about a problem, and no matter what solution you mentioned they had a reason it wouldn’t work? Although you could see the way out for them, they were focused on being stuck.

Well, they’re not the only ones who do that. You and I do it, too.

I realized this during a heated discussion with my beau about an issue that recently came up. He’s a dog-lover, not so much a cat-lover (whereas I go both ways). Four foster kittens tested his patience one night as he tried to eat pumpkin pie with ill- behaved felines each determined to share it with him.

After he left in frustration, I sat home pondering what had gone wrong. By the time we spoke the next day, I’d convinced myself there was no hope of integrating our lives. Whereas he approached the call with the intention of finding middle ground, I’d already done us in.

With each solution he suggested, I was johnny-on- the-spot with a reason it wouldn’t work. “Keep them in the pen? Are you kidding? They need to be socialized.” “Get a bigger place together where there’s more room for everyone? I’m not moving in with a cat-hater.” “You might get used to them? Highly unlikely.” My dedication to the problem was obvious to everyone but me, I wager.

Luckily he didn’t throw in the towel when most would. I got a chance the rest of that week to reexamine what I was committed to. Did I really want a solution? Or did I want to prove no one could hang with me; that I’m destined to short term romances? Did I mean it when I said I wanted a long- lasting relationship of substance? Or was it just lip service?

I offer this example to prompt you to look at where you’re open to solution, and where you’re committed to proving your problem. If you can’t see a problem you’re committed to, look harder. What have you come to accept as impossible to change? What do you think you have to live with? What have you given up hope on?

When you release your grip on the problem, and become open to possibility of solution, life will deliver miracles. Count on it.

  • April 1, 2007