When It Really Sucks

sometimes you have to let it suck for a whileSomething I’ve noticed about deliberate creators …

Maybe it’s because we know we can create whatever we want, when we’ve created something we don’t like, we’ve got panties in a twist to change it.

We know we’re responsible for our reality, and we know it only takes new thoughts to shift it.

So we get a little wrapped up in getting something to be different.

But like Sara Garcia shared on a recent GVU call, “Sometimes you just have to let things suck for a while.”

That could be my favorite sentence ever for embracing the principle of non-resistance.

Because what we resist persists, so changing something we don’t want isn’t going to be very effective.

When you’re willing to let it suck, you’re flowing less resistance.

And that’s how things can evolve.

If you’re knee deep in contrast, just remember that it won’t always be like this. ย But while it is, see if you can just be willing to let it suck for a while.

(Thank you, Sara, for those words of wisdom.)

  • January 13, 2013
  • Sara Garcia says:

    Hi Jason, ๐Ÿ™‚ I used to think this was contradictory, but what I’ve come to understand is that none of us is exempt from contrast, which means when contrast arises, I can either move into allowing by allowing my feelings to be what they are, or I can add more contrast to what’s already happening by resisting what I’m feeling. I’ve done PLENTY of both, and continue to do so. It’s all progress.
    My experience of this whole letting it suck thing was that by allowing myself to feel what I REALLY feel, I’m actually making friends with contrast and meeting myself with more love and allowing. The willingness to feel it and let it be there naturally evolves into allowing of what is wanted. (At least that is my experience.)
    Take all of this with a grain of salt if it doesn’t feel aligned with you. That is the whole point, YOU aligning with YOUR delicious and unique way of allowing what you want. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Jeannette says:

    Jason, if you’ve ever unsuccessfully tried to be happy or feel better when you were off you game, you might understand the value of letting it be what it is for a while. And if you haven’t experienced that, share your secret, please! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Jason says:

    Isn’t this contradictory to the LOA teachings of “you can get anything you want”….if you want happiness and lots of fun….then why would you allow something to just suck? Unless you’re happy being sad?

  • Anna says:

    A funny thing happened on my way to allowing it all to just suck for a while…
    I started having a pretty good time – in the midst of everything I’d thought sucked.
    Funny how it works – I stop resisting, it stops sucking.
    Cheers to letting it suck!

  • Susann says:

    Love this! I sometimes think suckage works as sort of a braking system when I’m hurtling along on the wrong course, or the right course but for the wrong reasons, or the timing is wrong or SOMETHING isn’t aligning. When the suckage factor goes up, I have learned to step back, let go, breathe (well, okay, I usually forget all this in the frustration of the moment, but I get there eventually). Depending on what the issue is, it may take a while or it may take no time at all for the overall energy to shift and things to click back into gear again and off we go.
    Teeny tiny example from this morning: I spent an annoyed hour trying to replace the zipper in a pair of slacks. I’m a good sewer, I know how to do this, I had the right tools & equipment, I’ve done it 100 times before. But not today. Today, I broke the thread, broke a sewing machine needle (which I’ve done maybe 3 times in my entire LIFE, and I’m old), nearly stitched my finger. If it could go wrong, it did. I finally threw everything down in a little hissy fit and said (before I even read this post!): “Man, this just sucks!” Went for a walk, did some stuff. Went back to the job a few minutes ago, said, “okay, this zipper will go in perfectly” — then thought:”Uh, why? I don’t even LIKE these pants.”
    It happens this way for me on big issues, too, albeit with a lot more drama on my part initially. Until I remember, oh, yeah, been here before: stop, let go, breathe, let it tell you what you need to know before attempting to go on. I usually hum a bar or two of “Let It Be”, just to make me smile. ‘Cause suckage sux; Beatles rock.

  • Mara Enid says:

    I’ve always found that the minute I accept the ‘suckiness’ of something, it goes away, lol. Afterwards, I always think, is that ALL i had to do?

  • Debbianne says:

    Yah! There’s nothing to resist… including Resistance!

  • Dragonwyst says:

    I love this!
    There’s two things in it for me. One – “letting it suck” means taking a moment to acknowledge those feelings, admitting them,instead of fighting them. It’s feelings that aren’t acknowledged that turn into monsters seeking your attention.
    Second – “letting it suck” is taking a step back and disengaging. sometimes life is is like a two-year-old having a temper tantrum. If you try and get all mixed up in the drama you just feed the tantrum. If you wait, it dissipates on it’s own.

  • Sara Garcia says:

    It’s very liberating to realize that suckiness isn’t that big of a deal. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Janette says:

    Powerful post indeed!! But my favourite line comes in your comment, Jeannette – “Resisting suckiness doesnโ€™t usually lead to less suckiness.”
    LOVE IT!!!!
    It reminds me of that similarly self-evident notion that violence doesn’t usually lead to peace. Put like that, it IS self-evident and unarguable.
    Which is good, because if we’ve had a sticky topic for a while, the old habit of suckiness sure can seem like a temptation. Remembering that EVEN HERE it’s not helping is a great inspiration to let it go.
    Give up the struggle, not the dream. REEE-LAX! (I can hear your voice in my head saying that LOL).

  • Very succinct, Rebecca. And yes, that’s the essence of what we’re talking about. I love having a one word mantra for it – thanks for sharing that.
    Nice one, Trevor! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Trevor says:

    “When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead” …humor almost always releases resistance.

  • That’s another way to say “surrender” right? This feels pretty honest and observant.

  • That sounds like your higher self offering that pat on the back, Michelle! Super cool!
    And wow, Kimberly, that’s a nice result of some big contrast! To use it to fuel other successes, that makes it even easier to appreciate a little (or in your case a lot) of contrast.
    Thanks for posting on this one, both of you. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Kimberly says:

    It’s difficult for me to let it suck for a while, but I do see that when I’m knee deep in contrast that I’m in a great place to start creating a different picture. I knew that I needed to make this change after going through the loss of our puppy.
    I started saying things like…I want to lose weight and I’m seeing that I’m more motivate to work out, eat better, and I’m trimming down. I only have 7 pounds to lose, that’s easy!
    My hair was showing signs of damage; I want longer stronger hair – it took a week for my hair to follow my lead.
    These are teeny examples, but they were enough to make me more confident and I’m having fun with creation. This has also helped me in recent family conflicts that I’ve been able to walk away from. It’s interesting that I keep waiting to feel the old hurt and betrayal and it’s not there anymore. Those cords were cut. I just kept saying that I want to feel peace about ______ and now I’m here.
    Great post and reminder!

  • Contrast is good. Of course, It’s more fun when part of you can think “this sucks” and another part of you can watch and “enjoy” the contrast on some level. The longer I’ve been doing this the more it takes for me to totally lose perspective. It feels like part me comes over and pats me on the back and says “bless your little heart” and it just goes away faster. Then, sometimes it just “sucks” for a while and that’s ok, too. It makes the good stuff all the more sweeter.

  • Actually, Sara, I just hear RELIEF in that statement. I think that’s why it’s stuck with me all this time and why I was so delighted to share it with others!
    Thanks for sharing your additional thoughts on the subject – very helpful!

  • Sara Garcia says:

    I can’t believe you blogged this! LOL!!! (I’m kidding with you, of course.) ๐Ÿ™‚
    Again, if I hadn’t been learning to validate and honor my out of the vortex feelings, I would have never been able to truly align with what I had previously learned about deliberate creation. I surely did not create chaos, because I forgot who I was as a deliberate creator. So saying that I could have or should have immediately “switched” my perception on the sight of life sucking; that’s just not accurate. For me, and I imagine for some others, it took a willingness to not only feel but HONOR my feelings and feel valid in my feelings before I could really take responsibility for them. I often wonder why this self-validating skill isn’t taught in more detail in most coaching programs. It’s HIGHLY valuable…it can be the golden ticket to the change train.
    I understand how the statement, “Let it suck for a while.” could easily be taken out of context and sound controversial…and it is, but that’s not the intention that drove the willingness to “let it suck.” It was that willingness that allowed for real sustainable changes to settle in. Those changes weren’t possible when I was making myself wrong for what I had attracted/created. Deliberate creation and perfectionism can be a recipe for disaster in my experience. To say that I shouldn’t have felt stuck highly invalidates my process. How do I know that I shouldn’t have felt stuck? Can I know that it’s absolutely true that no one should ever feel or get or even stay stuck? Being stuck can be a wonderful friend! A wonderful catalyst for heart-thawing and awakening! And if not, then that’s okay too. ๐Ÿ™‚ It’s ALL progress, even if it takes minutes, or months…or even years. We’ve literally got all the time in the world.
    It’s incredibly valuable when life gets messy, because we can then experience the process of learning how to clean up – if that’s what we want. That last part is what’s key – it’s about what is wanted, what is being called forth. There are universal aspects, of course, but mostly it’s unique for each of us.

  • There’s some peace in just getting okay with it, isn’t there, MissyB? ๐Ÿ™‚
    Stacey, you’re right – which I well know because anyone I shared a complaint about my sucky situation, someone in my world was quick to show me how it was actually a blessing. Which I usually wasn’t able to see in that red hot moment of contrast. But just knowing it’s so maybe takes a little sting off.
    Thanks for posting you two! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Stacey | Soul Intelligence says:

    I think it’s because we ‘forget’ that we’re deliberate creators that we get bent out of shape about things that aren’t going ‘right.’
    When things ‘suck,’ it’s time to change your perception by practicing creative interpretation. You can choose to see things as getting better, getting worse or staying the same. What ever bias you choose determines the trajectory of your situation.
    Yes, you must feel your way through the discouragement and disappointment…but don’t get stuck there.
    Love this quote by Deepak Chopra:
    โ€œOn some dimension or another, every event in life can be causing only one of two things: Either it is good for you, or it is bringing up what you need to look at in order to create good for you.โ€

  • MissyB says:

    Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeee !
    My life sucks right now…and I don’t know why. I feel stagnant.
    Of course not all of my life sucks – just some areas.
    So thanks for giving me permission to say “RIGHT NOW IT SUCKS”. And I can wallow in it knowing it will shift.

  • You rock, Lisa!!! Thanks for sharing that with us!
    I think it can be hard for some people to trust that dropping resistance to what they don’t like is actually a helpful thing. So your example will make it easier for some to trust.

  • Lisa says:

    I can attest to the effectiveness of just letting things suck. A few months ago, things sucked for me. And I FOUGHT it, viciously. The result was that my life sucked even more because there was the added suckiness of fighting the existing suckiness. Finally I gave up, let things be, and now things are pretty suckless and I dare say even awesome.

  • No doubt, Cyndi. Resisting suckiness doesn’t usually lead to less suckiness.
    Carolyn, glad it helped. Thanks for posting, you two! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Carolyn says:

    โ€œSometimes you just have to let things
    suck for a while.โ€
    “When youโ€™re willing to let it suck, youโ€™re
    flowing less resistance.”
    ” When youโ€™re knee deep in contrast, just remember
    that it wonโ€™t always be like this.”
    Wow!!! Such true and timeous words! Just what I needed to hear. Thx Jeannette!

  • Cyndi says:

    Yup, you’re right. Sometimes, you’ve gotta let life suck for a while. Sara is correct. When I have those moments, I get to the point where I’m too tired to find a way out and reach for another thought, so I just check out…go on auto pilot and let the ickiness have it’s way with me.

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