Q&A: When Like Doesn’t Attract Like

when like doesn't attract likeWe’ve got two related questions for you today.  Take a read and please share your insights:

First of all, I am a believer of law of attraction.  But I have a question about how it works …

If like attracts like, I don’t understand how I could go from being really happy over the holidays to suddenly experiencing a debilitating bad mood that seemed to come from out of the blue.

I thought the process of manifesting was to get happy first and then good things would happen.  But that didn’t happen.  As soon as I believed I’d made a real shift in my vibration, things went to pieces.

How do you explain that?  Am I the anti-manifester?

Another reader reports that his beliefs don’t always mirror his reality, contrary to what LOA teaches.  Here’s his example:

Let’s say I park my car at night, and while I’m asleep someone steals it.  When I wake up for work, I grab my keys and fully expect my car to be outside, only to find it’s missing.  If my beliefs create my reality, something’s gone awry here.

I surely didn’t want or expect my car to be stolen, so how could this happen?

What do you say, fellow creators?  Your input is appreciated!

  • January 7, 2013
  • Relief is what you’re shooting for, MissM. Anything that feels like relief. Whether in thought or action. (Sometimes giving up on trying to change anything is exactly that relief.)
    I’m not saying you’re at that point yet, but suggesting you be VERY open with yourself about what feels better. And just head in that direction.
    I’ll be sending good thoughts your way in the meantime … 🙂

  • MissM says:

    I was hoping someone would enlighten me – and help me from attracting any more negative – with my current situation (which is similar to what is being discussed). I’ve had a rough few years. I found myself always negative, complaining, my ex beat me up, my best friend of 30+ years betrayed me, etc. I have worked to climb out of that heap and made a fresh start over the summer, looking at the glass as half full. Most recently (in the last few months) I have felt joy and uplifted – even though my beloved dog is getting old and I had an unexpected (and difficult with my being unemployed) bil of $1300 and a car problem that was another $1000.
    Today, when I’ve been feel UP and HAPPY – I get home to find there is a call from SSDI (Disability – I’ve been on it for a number of years). The WORST POSSIBLE call I could receive (which I now have to wait until MONDAY (and TRY not to worry all weekend) about WHAT they want. I don’t know HOW I manifested this. That has not even been anywhere on my horizon! I’ve been feeling grateful – and for the first time in a long while – happy, not allowing life to bring me down.
    Now THIS.
    I am still trying to remain calm – and trying DILIGENTLY – to come up with positive, calming thoughts. But should something (and I won’t speak my thoughts here) happen – I’ll be up sh*ts creek without a paddle.
    Can anyone give me some advice and guide me toward the correct “vibe”?
    Thank you!

  • What first popped in for question #1 is that there is a lot of global shifting happening that is affecting our energy and how we feel. So don’t be so quick to judge that it’s something you’re doing wrong. I too was on a high going into the Xmas but then between Xmas and New Year’s I was not feeling as energetically lifted. I slept a lot. Ate a lot. Had low energy days. I just knew it was what I needed at the time and I went with it. That’s all we can do really. Take care of ourselves no matter what is happening. You don’t need to make it personal.
    In regards to the 2nd question, what I got was that we don’t always know (or are conscious) in the moment why things happen. But if stay open to understanding, the answer eventually comes. Maybe you had a random passing thought about not liking your car… maybe you weren’t supposed to be at a specific location so your car was ‘conveniently’ stolen. I remember reading or listening to Esther Hicks share about how her car was damaged and how she created it. Recently, one of my friends had gone out to lunch, had a great time, and came back to find that someone had damaged her car. She couldn’t understand why it happened. Later she realized that she had been talking about getting a new car because her current car looked old. She didn’t really want to spend the money though. Well, because of the damage on her car, her insurance paid for a new paint job and she ended up keeping her car because it looked so good.

  • MissyB says:

    Sometimes LOA really makes my head hurt – this is one of those times. I reason these things like this…
    I see myself as a giant magnet. I can’t be 100% pure happy thoughts all the time. So by default some crap is going to come my way. When I get the nice things I ask for – well I celebrate. When the crap comes my way I try to accept it and see it for the lesson it is. We don’t learn from the good stuff…just the bad.
    Anyway – that’s absolutely no help to the questions – but it helps me.

  • Carla says:

    Like is ALWAYS attracting like (or else it’s not a “law”). (I know, I resist this too–I’m much more comfortable being a victim when things I don’t like occur!) We are doing much of our creating unconsciously.
    Sometimes people are pretending to themselves that everything is better than it is (happy face sticker on the gas tank) and not acknowledging the less-than-positive thoughts they are having.

  • Pat says:

    As to scenario #1 I have two thoughts. The first I agree with Sophie’s question – Is any of it yours?
    The second is that after we experience a “high” which in her case was the holidays – it can be followed by a period of let down. Kinda like when a woman experiences the “let down” of hormones after having a baby – it puts her into the blues. Also, the holidays can be a very crazy, fast paced,stressful time even though we enjoyed them, when it’s finally over and done, it catches up with us and can show up in the form of being tired, cranky and moody.
    As to the second scenario…(I am not quite sure how it fits in with LOA but I’ll share anyway)
    To me, the universe and what we experience as our outer reality is like on big mirror. It is always reflects back to us the essence of something, some vibe we have given out. I have always said and felt that what you give out to the world comes back to you, it may come back in a different form but it does come back to you. (perhaps that is the LOA piece) The universe doesn’t judge and it doesn’t justify, it just reflects back to us in some form (and there are a variety of form) what is there or what we have given out.
    I work a great deal with forgiveness as a way of neutralizing the effects of a situation to affect a shift in the outcome. When I experience an upsetting situation I try to look at what aspect of myself it is reflecting or mirroring. For example: one time I was really aggrivated and angry with kids when I was trying to get them out the door to school, everything was taking to long and I was just getting more and more angry and upset with every little delay. I finally stopped and asked myself what was bothering me about it? I realized I was mad at them for procrastinating. I realized in that moment it was simply a reflection of my own procrastination. I may not procrastinate about getting them out to school or going to work, but I procrastinate about a great many other things! I took a moment to forgive my kids for procrastinating, I forgave myself for procrastinating and ask the universe to dissolve it in all directions of time. In 30 seconds we were out the door.
    In the case of the car, stealing is stealing is stealing..whether you are stealing someone’s money, their time,their goods (like a car), their identity, their self esteem by belittling them or what have you. The universe doesn’t judge and it doesn’t justify it just reflects back some aspect of your own behavior, your beliefs about yourself – the form it takes may vary but the underlying essence or vibe is there. He may have walked out believing it to be there and was shocked to find someone stole it, perhaps he in some way at some point stole from someone in way that was surprising because they didn’t believe he would. I always look at the essence of what is being reflected to me and not so much the form that it takes.
    I forgive it to release it and it usually affects a shift in the outcome. It’s a long post, hope it makes sense. It works for me.
    Blessings, Pat

  • Cyndi says:

    I love these kinds of scenarios. It’s fun to play Universe sometimes. 🙂
    With scenario #1, my first thought was that the happiness and hustle & bustle of the holidays may have served as a beautiful distraction for this person. Perhaps they were upset about something before the holidays arrived and now that the dust has settled, they’re face to face with it again. It’s like having a romantic partner that you expect to make you happy all the time and when they give you their 100% undivided attention, your heart sings! All is well with the world! But, the moment they waver in their undying devotion, all of a sudden, you don’t feel so good. Maybe you were relying on conditions to make you happy instead of creating happiness for its own sake?
    Scenario #2: This story reminded me of Abraham telling the story about Jerry and Esther’s dead car battery. They wanted to go to the Fed Ex Box, but the car wouldn’t start. At first, they said to each other, “oh man! What is the matter with us???” Earlier that day, Jerry also told Esther that he could really go for a good bowl of beans. They had been on the road for quite some time and Esther assured him they’d be home soon and, when they did, he could get his beans. As they set out to deal with the car issue, they called AAA, who sent a very helpful person to give them a jumpstart. They called the Cadillac Dealership who couldn’t have been nicer, telling them to “come on down” to get it taken care of. Guess what was next door to the dealership? A restaurant that had a really good bowl of beans!
    So, what did that car represent? What could you gain by having it taken away? Maybe it was faulty equipment? Maybe it was a financial burden? Maybe you have a deep seated fear of loss?
    Maybe the question to ask instead would be, “what’s better than the car?” Because everything always ends up working out for us, even if it doesn’t look that way in the beginning.

  • Maggie Reyes says:

    Hello Master Attractors!
    One of my favorite explanations for this comes from Mike Dooley. Totally paraphrasing – Let’s say you put into your GPS – Go to the Happiest, Highest and Best Version of My Life. That’s what it’s programmed for.
    From the place you are now, to go there, you will drive through a lot of places. You will drive through the parking lot where the car gets stolen, you could go from being numb to your feelings to feeling your feelings, to feeling happy, then feeling sad, then realizing your circumstances do not define you and choosing to be happy again.
    You drive up a mountain and down a hill. And as you drive through all these places you are on your way to Happiest and Highest. Because that’s where you told the GPS to take you. Through all the experiences that will get you there.
    In other words, what if it’s all good? Just part of the journey.
    It’s my first comment here so waving happy helloes to everyone!

  • Lisa says:

    My grandmother use to say the reason bad things happen to good people is so good people can make great things out of bad circumstances. I’m not sure that really applies here, but it came to mind.
    I don’t think LOA protects us from “bad” things happening all the time. That said what I am sure of is this, if I’m managing my vibration they way I want to bad things may come, and most of the time I don’t notice. This is because when I’ve got a vibrational set point that’s pretty high, pretty much anything that happens I would naturally assume was in my best interests. Everything is a blessing.
    If I start seeing a bunch of things going “wrong” that’s a pretty good indication to me that I need to improve my vibe, not to change the circumstances, but to change my perception.

  • Jennifer says:

    ‘didn’t want or expect my car to be stolen’… don’t state what you don’t want because you’re sure to get it.
    ‘bad mood coming from good intentions’… keeping in mind that there is still some residue from before you began to consciously create your intended outcome, i would say it’s a result from that.
    i, myself, had that occur when i first began meditating and visualizing, and, in fact, found that it took me 2-3 months of daily practice before i’d built up enough ‘good vibe’ for it to take over from the old, outworn vibe. first, you have to create the field… then you can play in it. hope that helped 🙂

  • Angie South says:

    And I love my avatar too. 😉

  • Angie South says:

    The two questions resonate with me very much, as variations of them happen to me all the time (shifting moods and loss, to varying degrees). I tend to question in the same way, and then usually come to the conclusion that somewhere inside the contrast is something I need to learn. This interests me, as although it helps me immensely to deal with the painful experience, it confuses me sometimes. It’s something about this whole perception of the universe ‘knowing stuff’ and ‘sending gifts’, like some sort of wise, kindly uncle in the sky! If LOA is all about energy, where does this human trait of gift sending and ‘knowing’ about us come in to it, if you get what I mean? It’s kind of like talking about God when we use these phrases, when I see LOA as a science with laws and unbreakable principles – not a source that can reason, define, or judge in relation to my life experience. That’s the bit I struggle with.

  • Anne Nayer says:

    Lately I have been experiencing unexpected good things. It’s as though there’s a metamorphosis going on and ‘suddenly’ I am exhibiting behaviors and qualitites that I admire but never thought of myself as possessing. I think that things marinate for quite a while and then pop up when the resistance is gone. As for unexpected bad things – would work the same way – the stolen car scenario may already have occurred in the mind of the owner (and the thief) or, like the comment about the bike being stolen perhaps the car was not appreciated and there were thoughts of other cars or perhaps the creator is conjuring up a scenario where life changes, big steps occur, acceptance is learned, walking and public transportation transform etc… for vibe management results I try to consider that the world is always working for my benefit and that it’s a friendly place and that my definition of what that looks like (the how) is sadly limited and might include a stolen car or a monkey mind inner conversation that trumped the holiday cheer – for a moment.

  • Yay, Pernille! A perfect example of how something “bad” actually turned out really “good”!
    (And I know Sophie would be cringing at all this “judging.” lol)

  • Pernille Madsen says:

    Interesting questions and great comments so far 🙂
    My Mom got her bike stolen some months ago (her primary means of transportation!). She hadn’t expected that at all.
    However, to me it made a lot of sense!
    My Mom hated that bike; it was pretty new, but it had turned out to be too big and too heavy for her and she kept complaining about it.
    So the bike got stolen. She got money from the Insurance company and she bought a new bike. A smaller and less heavy bike – and she now has a bike that she totally adores and at no extra cost 🙂
    We sometimes get what we ask for in other ways than we expected 🙂

  • Love how easily you can clear the way with a powerful question, Sophie! Thank you!
    Stacey, I agree that many of us have a lot of negative thoughts we aren’t even consciously aware of that come into play in our vibration.
    I also like declaring something as good even when I can’t necessarily see it as such. (Although I can’t do that all the time. Good to practice, though!) That helps make the way for more good to reveal itself.

  • Stacy | Online Reputation Marketing says:

    For the 1st one, it could be that a lot of automatic negative thoughts were creeping in. The type that are so common and automatic the thinker really doesn’t even realize they are thinking them.
    For the 2nd, were there thoughts about the car NOT being stolen. In other words, focus on the unwanted?
    Honestly, I think sometimes there isn’t a very satisfying answer as to why when things go down in ways you don’t prefer or expect other than to realize that sometimes “shit happens”. Or maybe as Abraham would say instead, “contrast happens”. ALSO, being in physical we lack the same perspective as the Universe. Things could be going on that we term bad but is part of a much bigger picture that we don’t have full access to yet.

  • Sophie says:

    To the first one:
    Is any of it yours?
    To the second one:
    What is right about this you are not seeing?
    My two questions 🙂

  • Helen, I just fell in even more love with you.
    Yes! We’re happy; we’re sad – it’s how life goes. No big deal. I love taking the pressure off or releasing the resistance from feeling bad.
    And on the other one, that’s what I was going to chime in with. I always ask people “how did you feel when that happened?” And then “have you felt that way before recently?” Then it’s easier to match up how like really did attract like.
    Thanks for reading and for posting, Helen!

  • helen says:

    What other buttons was losing your car pushing?? it isn’t about the action but the feeling & just when you think you have something handled up it comes again just to see how you do handle it lol.
    Same with the feeling good and then bad what’s the big deal just be happy you were happy having a good time and when the opposite feeling comes up just feel it too without making is all about something you did wrong or some negative thought you had ……….take it easy and flow with the mood whatever it is ………..its all good anyway.

  • Pam!!! Your second post gave me goosebumps!
    That you can find something to delight in – ANY excuse to smile – THAT’S how you find your way back to good. I suspect you’re in REALLY good shape, whether you trust it or not.
    PS – you’re right, your avatar IS darling!!

  • Pam says:

    OMG, I just LOVE my avator

  • Pam says:

    This question hits home with me. And I struggle ( i know I know, flow flow flow )with it. I was in a relationship and out of the blue it ended, leaving me homeless and jobless. I went from being on top of the world to living in my car, or couch surfing. How did I create THAT.. now, no trust I can do anything right.

  • Oh, yes, Jane – very interesting to look at it from the manifesting perspective of the other players!! hmm.
    Good point!

  • Jane says:

    Hmm this is an interesting one because there’s the person who expected the car to be there and the one who expected to steal it. Both expectations are at odds with one another. My guess is both people, whether they know it or not, received exactly what they inadvertently created from the experience, especially if we take into account their own subconscious resistance and ability to allow.

  • Agreed, Jesann. There are a lot of beliefs that come into play – not just the one obvious conscious one.
    And when we can practice dropping the judgment about what’s “good” and “bad” – that changes everything, too. (I say that as a girl who had her most valuable piece of jewelry recently stolen.)
    Thanks for chiming in, Jesann. 🙂

  • Jesann says:

    An author named Victor Boc (who I found out about from another commentor here) addressed a similar situation to #2, though in his case it was someone doing well in a baseball game and suddenly striking out. The idea is that there is some belief in there that takes precedence over your conscious expectations. The belief might not be specifically about your car being stolen, but about loss, about not being able to move, and so on.
    In the baseball example from that book, the idea was that the player had a subconscious belief that he could not hit the ball right when he needed to. In the car case, it could be a belief that bad things happen unexpectedly, and so on.
    There could also be the possibility that the car being stolen was the universe’s way of protecting you — what if the car were there, you were to drive it, and (okay everyone get ready to say “Cancel” after reading this) a tire were to blow out? Instead, the universe knows you believe you are safe, so it arranges for the faulty car to disappear, at least for long enough so you don’t encounter that situation. Maybe you find the car and have all the damage fixed, so now the tires are fine.

  • Oh, Maggie, you are so smart!!
    You all can find her at http://lifeworkscoaching.com/

  • In answer to the first question, I have a hunch that a lot of people feel happy over the holidays and let down afterward. Are you sure your mood shift arrived independent of your circumstances? What are your thoughts about going back to work/school, saying good bye to friends/family who might have been visiting, back to routines and responsibilities, and NOT getting presents any more?
    A blue mood “out of nowhere” is actually a wonderful gift, because it isn’t about nothing and didn’t come from nowhere: it’s attached, somewhere, to a painful thought, and this is an opportunity to figure out what it is. In that discovery, you might find even greater joy.
    As to having one’s car stolen, of course you didn’t expect or will that to happen–consciously. But I don’t think the LOA precludes crappy things happening to people. Maybe the hint is in the perception of what is crappy and what isn’t? If the universe had aligned specifically for this to happen for you right now, what possible reason might there be? (Hint: the answer might not come to you immediately, but will reveal itself over time.)
    I’m not sure manifestating = expectation. I hear both of you saying basically, hey, I got ripped off here! I expected to be happy and I’m not, WTF? Understandable response for sure. But when I am manifesting, I don’t EXPECT anything, I am simply with it, if that makes any kind of sense. In fact, to be in expectation is to still be in the act of waiting for something to happen.
    Finally, some perhaps unrelated advice: to me, manifestation is about intention + action. Inaction, or an unwise action, will trip me up every time no matter how often I focus on what I want.

  • Nicole, your words about a stolen car being a happy occasion when you’re in the vortex may be hard to hear for some – but just this last week I’ve been experiencing the nightly news in the vortex. And football games. And truck commercials.
    At first I thought – wow, what’s so cool about the news that I’ve been missing out on? Is that anchorman just really handsome? (Hello, David Muir!) Or is this production really well executed? I really thought it was the NEWS that was fabulous. For some mysterious reason.
    But then when I loved the football game the next day (and I don’t normally love football), and then when I LOVED the truck commercial, too – then I knew – I’m just in the voretx. lol
    Yeah, I get it.

  • Nicole says:

    When you are in the vortext, your car being stolen would be a blessing. No matter what happens, happiness and joy are available to you.
    Who wants to be happy all the time though? Humans are addicted to emotions. This is for good reason – your emotions are the guidance systems running as the operating system of your life. When you feel really bad, your body is trying to tell you to take a break, pamper yourself and look for the better feeling thought. If that thought happens to be crying to old movies on the couch for an evening, allow them. Allow, allow, allow. The relief that will follow will get you to an even better feeling thought, then an even better one…
    Deliberate creating is about creating joyful relationships throughout this physical experience. The ‘ material stuff’ that comes with it is just along for the ride!
    Much love to everyone on GVB/GVU!

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