When You Want to Manifest a Specific Lover

How to Manifest a Specific Person

see how easy she lets it go?

Maybe it’s the time of year, but my inbox has a definite theme of queries this month.

It seems like every other person who writes wants to know how to manifest a specific someone into their love life.

Ay yi yi.

I’ve been responding individually, but I’m just going on the record with an official post on this subject once and for all.

Note: this is different than when someone is attracting a person with specific qualities or attributes. This post is for when someone wants this particular Jane or John Doe into their arms.

Here’s my answer to the question, “Is it possible to manifest a certain person into my love life and if so, how?”

Yes, it’s possible, but please, don’t bother.

There’s a better way for you to get the love you want.

I know a lot of other LOA savvy folks say that it isn’t even possible to manifest a specific person into a love relationship.

That’s probably the best way to think about this subject.

However, that hasn’t been my experience.

But because I do have experience on this, it is very easy for me to recommend that you don’t go that route. It is not going to take you where you want to go. It really truly isn’t a focus that will serve you.

What you do want to focus on is what you really want.

And that’s not the one particular person that your mind might be fixated on.

What you want is how you think you’ll feel when you’re in a relationship with this person.

Those are two potentially different things.

And because of that, you want to pursue the latter, not the former.

Your higher self (or angels, guides, God, Universe – whatever you want to call higher power) is way better at arranging the love of your life than you are.

For some reason, we meet some “close but not quites” on the journey. Those are the men and women in our lives who give us glimpse of possibilities of a fabulous love, but for some reason it doesn’t pan out.

My friend, let it go.

Let it go. Let it go. Let it go.

You’ll not achieve your best alignment to love by trying to hang onto it.

Instead, tap the feelings of love right now.

Not yearning, not chasing, not desperateness, not clinging, not manipulating, not obsessing.


You know how that feels, right?

Tune into that, and you’ll allow your best lover to arrive on your doorstep.

You can align to love by:

  • joyously recalling the best parts of your last love
  • enjoy imagining what might be transpiring in an alternate reality where things did work out with your fav someone
  • watch or read an inspiring love story
  • practice loving yourself
  • or just go about loving life in general.

But please stop thinking your romance has to be with so-and-so.

Consider him/her a filler, a stand in, a whiff of what’s to come, just to whet your appetite for something even better.

Because if you are attached to a certain person, you’re kinking up your own love story.

Let them go and get on with loving your life.

And trust me, you’ll be headed straight for your happily ever after with your next perfect someone.

  • February 9, 2015
  • Jeannette says:

    What a fun update, Frank!
    And I love how much you’re enjoying the contrast. That makes it such a better time overall!
    Thanks for those additional details about how this can look in the real world, my friend.
    Much appreciated! 🙂

  • Just wanted to post a quick update on some of the adventures I’ve had since Jeannette first posted this…
    Here is what I wrote above:

    So, I’ve found that the real power is in the DECISION to have what we actually want…

    for myself: a love relationship that is amazing and continuously more and more delicious with a very delightful and handsome male human who is easy to appreciate, lots of fun to be with, and who is having a lot of fun being both friend and lover and partner with me or something even better than what I can imagine right now

    …and then let go and ALLOW all this wondrousness to evolve into physical reality.

    I did let go and received some delicious inspired action.
    Not long after this post, I was inspired to re-open an online profile at my favorite website for this particular purpose.
    Having done this, I had several encounters online and in person that followed this path:
    — The Uptight Guy — He freaked out when I asked him what kind of work he did. Next!
    — The Straight Guy — Oh yes, I had sex with a straight guy who chased me down. It was fun, to a point, but all clandestine and no real names and don’t even think about asking anything about work (he wasn’t real good at keeping this covered up, not that it really matters). Now, when I say straight here, I’m using the cultural meaning. He is all kinds of twisted, in a sexual way (FUN!) but completely unavailable emotionally. Next!
    — The Overly Pedantic Guy — We connected over the fact that I am a channel. Only, um, he let me know at the beginning of our connection that he had so much to teach me. (Note: please, no one ever should say this to anyone for any reason) Did I mention that his interest in me was so that he could talk to his dead husband (I don’t do mediumship)? Also, did I mention that his house was a shrine to his husband? And whatever you think that looks like, you are underestimating what I am saying here.
    — The Super Sweet Guy — He was so tolerant of my many faults, which came to the surface almost immediately. I think what was happening is that we fell down some rabbit hole of toleration, which sounds like a good idea but doesn’t play out well. It was hard to say goodbye to this really great guy, until I remembered that it took 3 languages and 20 minutes to order dinner on our date (English, Spanish, and Italian). Again, whatever you think that looks like, you are already underestimating what I am saying here…
    THE CONTRAST has been delicious!
    And each one of these men were all amazing in their own wonderful ways and will, no doubt, make wonderful lovers and husbands for someone other than me.
    And, what’s I’m now inspired to do, having written all this out, is to now site down and refine the above.
    Again, THANK YOU Jeannette for this post!

  • Namaste says:

    I like Jeannette’s advice of checking out EFT or Byron Katie’s Work. Jeannette introduced me to one of Byron’s techniques a year or so ago that I got a ton of value out of.
    As I was reading your comment to Jeannette, something else came to mind, hopefully you don’t mind me sharing…
    The Prayer of Release only works when you’re really ready to move on. As you said, you think you’re addicted to the way he hurt you. I suspect the reason that you’re addicted is you haven’t figured out how to make sure this doesn’t happen to you again. Your mind doesn’t want to move on, to let go of the pain because it is certain it doesn’t want to repeat the experience again. If you come up with a plan for insuring that you don’t end up in this situation again, I have a feeling that your mind will relax, you’ll be able to say the prayer and experience the release it promises =)
    If you have no idea how to come up with a plan like that I’d encourage you to check out Alison Armstrong’s work (http://www.understandmen.com/). Alison teaches people how to figure out their deal breakers (so that you don’t get involved in relationships that are doomed to fail) and boundaries (so that when you’re in a relationship you don’t get walked all over). I’ve gotten a lot out of her work. Setting up deal breakers has been a real life saver for me. Her site has a lot of information on it. If you start feeling overwhelmed contact Regina. She’s an LOA coach who is certified to teach Alison’s work. You can find Regina at http://www.magnetic-ally.com/about.html

  • Jeannette says:

    Grace, I wonder if you’ve tried EFT or Byron Katie’s Work or some other method of release? This might also be a good time to engage some outside help, too, so you’re not working on this all by yourself.
    Sending good thoughts your way, Grace …

  • Jeannette says:

    haha, Frank, I liked the google version, too! As in, a TOTAL letting go! lol

    • Grace says:

      You said that you know it is possible that this works. I did the prayer if release and i still think about him. But i think i am addicted to the way he hurt me. I just realized that when i picture how i feel, i get angry all over again. And hurt. I want to forgive him and something tells me i can’t give up. How could i know all of this and not apply it?

  • Becky — you go girl! The way I read your comment is that you have plenty of contrast to know what you exactly want. and it seems like this post has even further clarified your desire. as I like to hear said to me, I dunno what you’re doing. and that’s all that really matters. how wonderful!

  • Becky says:

    I have been consciously practicing LOA for a while now. There is a specific person that I desire. We previously had a relationship, but I let my fears and crazy ideas create our path. I know that the things that happened were things that had ran through my head as “what ifs” and fears. I have complete faith that if I could create that path that I can also create the path that I really desire with the man I love. I have read both opinions that it is possible and that we shouldn’t bother, but if I can really create anything I want then I believe that completely. We are constantly affecting others with our intentions so why not in the area of love. If I desire money and it comes to me I apparently influenced someone to send it to me, so in this case I desire for my love to give me love and to be in a committed romantic relationship with me. I so enjoy your blog and all of the wonderful things I have learned here, but I remain steadfast that I can have all I desire even the man I love! He and I have been friends for years. His son calls me his other mom! I know that our relationship is real and I will keep believing! I can have what ever I desire and I can build this life that I know is real!

  • Mrs. C says:

    The “Divine Indifference™ ”came from a commissioned project that I worked on. I love it.
    The funny thing is I now have a hot date with “my type” of man. This was arranged just last Friday!
    Each time I ask the universe for someone specific, I do always add my LOA insurance cover and say “May (love name) or someone else even better is now manifesting in my life in harmonious, satisfying ways in it’s own perfect time for the greatest good for both concerned”.
    That way I know if I don’t get the person I have set my heart, then I will get someone even better.

  • Jeannette says:

    I love that phrase, Mrs. C: “divine indifference”! lol I can feel what a sweet spot that is to live!!
    Thank you for the reminder about how much more is possible for us when we open ourselves up to more than just the one person we might have had our sights set on before. I’ve heard so many success stories from people who did just that!

  • Mrs. C says:

    Yep what you resist persists. A watched pot never boils.
    I am so happy that even though I still think of him every day. I have reached the point of “divine indifference” = I don’t give a hoot either way. I find my whole thing hilarious.
    I think we all know deep down should move on or not. It’s just some people don’t want to accept if they know it’s not going to work out. I think it’s a million times worse it’s reciprocal but nothing is happening with no closure.
    It’s sad when one limits them self to a specific person to give them happiness. One would stand a much better chance of having a “certain type” Tall dark and handsome, blue/green eyes, confident…

  • Jeannette says:

    Thank you, Aloha. 🙂
    And Mrs. C – I like that: “instead of fighting it I just accept it.”
    Resistance wouldn’t take us anywhere good anyway, would it?
    I also know what you mean about how once we let go that’s when they show up looking for our attention again.
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences on this one. 🙂

  • Mrs. C says:

    I am loving this subject. I did post on the same subject here some time ago so I will avoid repeating myself, but I doubt it…
    I love the prayer of release, I read something similar in The dynamic laws of prosperity by Catherine Ponder. She has quite s few affirmations for people who are attached and is worth reading.
    Katie Holmes as a kid used to pray every night for Tom Cruise.
    I happen to agree with a lot that’s been said her esp. what Namaste mentioned about about letting your higher self arrange things. I would do this by “asking” my higher self otherwise one can become deluded to a point of serious mental illness.
    Someone I knew told me that her mother went into deep depression when her dad left her mother and has never come out of it, even after 35 years.
    I’ve seen an old friend pine away and would literally dream every night for years about her ex regardless if she had a new long term relationship. Anyways after she broke up with her ex after many years she did get back to the first ex which only lasted a few weeks. We all thought that she didn’t get the closer that happens and didn’t move on at the time. Yes we all thought that she was mad and told her to move on but we still resected that it was hard for her to do this.
    Yes it is embarrassing for me to say that but Yep I’ve got the bug too. I’ve had it for years… too many years to mention. The funny thing is I have two similar health condition’s both of which has his name LOL. This started the same time when this man came into my life. He was the one that activated things but we didn’t even get into a relationship because of work reasons. I even moved country as I was just getting on with my life. Dated other men etc. I am back in the same town again but I want to move just for my own work. I can’t say that I am obsessed as my life is not on hold waiting for him. I am very much open to dating and have been blissed out with relationships that I had since it all started But it’s weird that I think about him every single day. So instead of fighting it I just accept it.
    I don’t know how to explain it. It’s not like a crush or that it has got to only him etc. But the chemistry give me butterflies and sparks at the same time. I am just sick of thinking about him every day that’s all. So I am going out of my way to get fit and start dating to distract me even more.
    The funny thing is that when I broke up with guys that I loved and found it difficult to move on. Once
    I did let go they wanted me back more that ever but by then it was a point of no return.
    This makes me wonder about all those obsessed Justin Bieber fans LOL but most of them are aware that they will never have a get married to them or anything. Saying that I know what some pop stars get up to on tour. No wonder they call them belieber’s.

  • Namaste says:

    Christina, Alice, Aloha,
    Wow… I’m glad all of you found value in the prayer =) And thanks again for another guest post opportunity Jeannette.

  • Aloha says:

    Jeannette you have out done yourself this time!
    Namaste thank you for your sharing the prayer of release, I too am in a similar situation and it has been bugging me, thanks for providing exactly what I was wanting! Simple and powerful.

  • Jeannette says:

    Namaste, that’s fabulous!
    Would you care to make this a guest post, or to let me quote you in a separate post to share that prayer of release? I think everyone deserves to see this one spotlighted!!

  • Alice says:

    Thank you for posting this prayer … Sometimes help comes in the simplest forms, and in ways that are the easiest to apply ….

  • Namaste says:

    A long time ago I met a woman named Kelli. She was amazing, we clicked but the next step never happened. Problem was I couldn’t stop thinking about her. This had never happened to me before so I was at a loss about what to do. This went on for a really long time and it drove me nuts. Finally the mother of a friend of mine, heard about what I was going through and came to the rescue. She said, “You need to use the Prayer of Release. All you have to do is say it out loud one time. If this woman is meant to be in your life, you’ll continue to think about her. If she’s not, the desire to think about her will drop away.” I replied, “You realize I’m not religious right?” She explained that it didn’t matter. I was willing to try anything so I did. To my total and complete surprise it worked! I stopped thinking about Kelli and that was that. I’ve given this prayer to others and seen equally positive results. If I ever have another client who is convinced s/he is meant to be with someone, the prayer is the first place I’d start…
    I accept ALL people, places and things that are a part of my path.
    I ask that all people, places, and things that are a part of my path come to me.
    I release ALL people, places and things that are not a part of my path.
    I ask that ALL people, places and things that are not a part of my path release me.

  • Jeannette says:

    What an interesting story, Namaste! I wonder if you have any tips for how people can discern the difference between the gremlin voice that says “it must be him!” and the inner guidance that’s really truly directing us to a happy unfolding.
    Because it kind of seems that if I had been that person hearing that message, I might have dismissed it as my inner clingy girl just whining about her lost love. ?

  • Namaste says:

    Great post! I really like the point you made about letting your higher self arrange things. I learned the hard way a number of years ago to always tell people to listen to their higher selves no matter what…
    About five years ago I was working with a client. She had fallen head over heels in love with a guy in high school. They went to the same college together. Things were going great for a year or so and then he suddenly decided to break up with her. She was devastated. She KNEW he was the one. He obviously didn’t feel this way. She dated other guys in college but it just wasn’t the same. After college she continued to date new guys. She went through guy after guy after guy.
    When I started working with her she was just out of another relationship. We talked about it. She was in her late 20’s and really starting to feel like she should be married, having kids etc. She mentioned her high school/college sweet heart. She told me that he was married but she couldn’t get over him (this was almost 10 years after the break up). Thinking I was doing the right thing, I told her she needed to move on. She didn’t like my advice and said that I didn’t understand. About six months into working with her she got on a call with me and basically said, “I’ve decided that I’d done with hoping for the right guy to show up in my life. I may end up old and single but so be it.” I let it be as she’d already heard my advice. A short time later our time together ended.
    I forget how long it was, maybe it was six months, maybe a year but I got a call. She had been in her home town and had run into her old high school/college sweet heart. They talked and she found out he was going through a divorce. They started dating again. I was obviously surprised and kicking myself for not telling her to listen to her higher self no matter what. They ended up getting married (she was so happy and still is) and last year they had their second child. This experience taught me to always tell people to listen to their higher selves no matter what =)

  • Jeannette says:

    Tammy, I love your story!
    It’s making me think how sometimes focusing on details might help us feel it better – but being open (like you were) to something else is really key.
    Thanks for sharing that with us!

  • Tammy says:

    When I was on the “love” trail, I had a list, very specific, of my perfect guy down to the size, shape, features, clothes, job, etc. Those were specifics I had chosen from past relationship likes and dislikes. But the guy that swept me off my feet, and have been happily married to for 34 years, had very few of those specific qualities that I kept searching for – honestly, none of them. I believe the Universe knew me better than I thought I knew myself. The Universe takes care of each of us. All you have to do is know that you want a soulmate to share your life — Ask for it, and it shall be given. You may be suprised what shows up!!

  • Gillian says:

    Just what I needed! Excellent, dear Jeannette!

  • Jeannette says:

    Sounds like a fun plan, Quilly! Enjoy!
    Sabeen, I like your question. I think what we’re looking for isn’t even “dark chocolate” as much as it is satisfaction or fulfilled craving, but we tend to think we know how that best happens. The trick is to be in alignment to what we really want and be open to how that gets delivered.
    I remember once I was having a chocolate craving, had no chocolate in the house, didn’t want to go to the store, but I knew that was all getting in the way of what I wanted. What I wanted was the joy and pleasure of experiencing rich chocolate. So I pre-appreciated it. I enjoyed the satisfaction of it and reveled in the deliciousness of it. Then let it go. Next inspiration was to clear a little clutter in the house. 5 minutes later I was tossing out an empty tin container that my mom had passed along to me in case I might want it for something. I decided I didn’t. But before I put it in giveaway I opened it to make sure it was empty. It wasn’t. It was filled with homemade fudge that was some of the best, most satisfying fudge I’ve ever had. (And I would have sworn I’d checked it before and it was empty!)
    My point being that the more “hands off” we can be with the hows – the better. The heart of conscious creation is feeling now how we would feel then and let Universe do its magic on is.

  • Sabeen says:

    Hi Jeannette, I needed to read this post right now because some thoughts of “the guy that got away” and missed opportunites are seriously kinking up my vibe right now, so thank you!
    I find myself wanting more clarity on a point though and that relates to how specific we are to get as a creator. When I have a craving for dark chocolate, I don’t just ask for “anything that tastes wonderful” but I specifically ask for dark chocolate because I’ve identified that as the thing that will taste wonderful (and I end up getting it). Is that going about it the hard way? Should we ask for the specific things we identify or just ask the Universe to deliver things that delight us, in whatever form that comes?

  • Quilly says:

    “Consider him/her a filler, a stand in, a whiff of what’s to come, just to whet your appetite for something even better.”
    I LOVE this … maybe I can consider this Mister an amuse bouche!
    Actually, the thoughts I’m having about this guy are inspiring art for me, so I’m starting to realize what I might really be after is the titillating POSSIBILITY of a love affair with him. Every little communication carries such a hit of excitement that I want this feeling to last as long as possible. (VERY different from the head-long rush into disaster that you’ll remember from last year!)
    So I will continue to flirt with the IDEA of him and see what the Universe sends my way …
    (though drawing a picture like one person suggested sounds fun, too!)

  • Sophie says:

    Amen to everything you said Jeannette AND
    (you knew I was going to put my spin on this lol)
    It is possible.
    If you want someone specific, think of that person, and send them the thoughts you would like them to have about you. As if they were thinking it, not you.
    It may take a while (some people don’t hear their own thoughts unless it is repetitive) but it works. The thing is, they may think it, it does not mean they are going to act on it. For instance, they may be in a relationship or may think you are too good for them, etc…..
    Sometimes, the person has to get out of their own way too 🙂

    • Gorgeousophie says:

      Frank re Ming, ditto! And yes, Loving the Deliciousness too. Sophie, run that one by me again?!

  • Ooh! Ming — Congratulations! Is your story recounted anywhere? Inquiring minds want to know!

  • I’m loving your love story, Frank!
    And man, the wisdom you’ve shared on this blog (in comments and guest posts alone) is enough to warrant its own blog! Loved this:
    “… aiming for what it feels like and less what it looks like is SO IMPORTANT.”
    Couldn’t have said it better! Thanks for chiming in, Frankie B. 🙂

  • I hope this post ends up in your top 5 because, OMG, this is SUCH a very important topic for people who are just becoming aware of their power with intentional creation.
    The person who first showed me how to intentionally manifest mentioned this at the very beginning. She was very clear: “…THIS OR SOMETHING BETTER!” And that’s what I’ve stuck with in this arena and any other where specific details are on the table.
    One thing that’s easy to forget is that all thought is constantly evolving. There simply is no way for me to connect with a specific Mr. Right at any point in the future because neither of us will be the same person at the point. We will both have evolved as well as all of our ideas about love/romance/companionship/past stuff/etc.
    So, aiming for what it feels like and less what it looks like is SO IMPORTANT.
    Of course, as I think many of us can attest, the best way to really, truly understand this is to go ahead and double-down on specific details and watch as things manifest and then notice how the power of WILL (which is what is involved) tends to skew what we actually want since WILL is stuck on a specific point and, because of what it is, simply will not allow the idea to evolve organically.
    Once we give birth to a thought, about anything, it’s already on its own trajectory. What I know I have discovered when I have brought WILL into the story is that RESISTANCE is required How else can I absolutely stick to something specific, otherwise? The RESISTANCE is necessary to FEND OFF the evolving thoughts as they try to move on.
    So, I’ve found that the real power is in the DECISION to have what we actually want…

    for myself: a love relationship that is amazing and continuously more and more delicious with a very delightful and handsome male human who is easy to appreciate, lots of fun to be with, and who is having a lot of fun being both friend and lover and partner with me or something even better than what I can imagine right now

    …and then let go and ALLOW all this wondrousness to evolve into physical reality.

  • Yeah, Ming – you’re a great example of how to hit the jackpot by letting go and letting Universe deliver your order!

  • Ming says:

    Jeannette, I loved your post, it really made me smile. I even went back to the emails we went back and forth last year on this, and cracked myself up again. I love being able to have just written out what I wanted, not a specific person.. and then I just let go. You know I wasn’t looking for anyone. And then, well you know the story 🙂

  • Jackie, this might be my new reply to everyone who asks me this question from now on! “… you can have the relationship you want. Maybe not with the specific person you think you want it with.”
    So well put! I hope everyone reads that.
    Thanks for launching this conversation, Jackie. I think a lot of people will get insights from what you’ve shared.

  • Jackie Taylor says:

    I’m a firm believer that you can have the relationship you want. Maybe not with the specific person you think you want it with. You can’t change someone into the person you want them to be. I saw a great video the other day in which a preacher was saying that if someone wants to walk out of your life, let them walk. You don’t really want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you and they will show you that they don’t in more ways than you can count.

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