Who's Responsible For This?
The other day my sweetie let me have it for something he did not approve of: I let my ex-beau pick up the dogs at our house for a dog walk (which Russ has repeatedly asked me not to do).
My guy was upset for a variety of reasons so we were talking it out. Among other things, he looked for reassurance that I wouldn’t ever have a physically intimate relationship with my ex again.
“I really don’t see that happening,” I said. (I know not to say “never,” since that word often involves resistance, and flowing resistance is a fabulous way to invite it in.)
As I gave serious consideration to Russ’ inquiry and thought about the unlikelihood of a future sexual rendezvous with my ex, I realized that now the two of us were thinking about said rendezvous – and we all know what thoughts lead to.
Especially thoughts driven by strong emotion!
What popped out next did NOT help: “Well, I don’t see it happening … unless you keep focusing on it.”
Even if Russ doesn’t completely believe in the law of attraction, he knows I do. And he did not like where I was going with it.
Which meant I was now in the hot seat for justifying my (theoretical) “bad behavior” on Russ’ vibration. He was exasperated at the thought that I would have an affair and blame it on him because his fears brought it about.
If he understood energy the way deliberate creators do, he would know that makes perfect sense. Wouldn’t he?
But his argument got me thinking …
I wondered how many law of attraction-savvy folks let themselves off certain hooks by saying something like “Well, if you weren’t vibrating it, it wouldn’t have happened.”
Like the couple times I’ve been stiffed by clients. My ego wants to blame them for not following through on promises to pay, while the more rational part of me knows I can’t experience something I’m not vibrationally lined up with. I’m not a victim of “non-payers.” Rather, I’m responsible for what happens in my world. Including not getting paid.
One of my girlfriends who is familiar with the law of attraction basics has been known to tell family members that she is not responsible for their happiness and well-being. (She usually reminds them of that after she’s late for Thanksgiving dinner or insulted the intelligence of her sister’s kids.)
Her family has come to think of the law of attraction as a big excuse for someone to shirk what they are really responsible for.
When I hear about her exchanges, it sounds a little harsh that my friend says and does things she knows upsets her family, and then tells them it’s their own fault for being upset. She reasons that because they can choose how they feel, why don’t they choose something that feels better than “upset”?
I get the logic, but something about that doesn’t sit quite right.
And yet there I was ready to blame Russ for a potential affair I might have with my best friend. (Although, it’s not an affair if you’re not married, right? Anyway …)
All of this has made me question … what are we responsible for?
In sorting this out, my conclusion is yes, we are indeed responsible for what happens in our world. And we are continually CO-CREATING with others.
So Russ can’t manifest my steamy hot night with an ex unless I (and my ex) are lined up with that. I can’t manifest longstanding receivables unless clients are dialed into not paying. Family members don’t get irreverent daughters showing up late for dinner unless everyone’s flowing a common vibe on it.
It’s the beauty of how Universe syncs up like vibrations.
When we’re happy, we attract people and circumstances that reinforce that feeling. When we’re disappointed, we attract the people and circumstances who are capable of reinforcing our disappointment.
Rather than vibrating me into bed with an ex (ooh, kinky) it’s probably more likely that if I’m vibrating fidelity while my sweetie is vibrating worry about my infidelity, then our dissimilar vibrations wouldn’t allow us to stay in close proximity.
Either we’d fall away from each other, or one of us is going to learn the other’s vibration.
You know which option I’m going with, right? 😉
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic. How have you noticed others’ vibrations affecting you? And where do you place the responsibility for what that leads to?