When It’s Wise to Hear the Peanut Gallery
… because letting someone else’s opinion matter more than our own inner guidance isn’t helpful.
And since we don’t all have to agree (we each get to be right about whatever we choose to focus on), it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks anyway.
I get that. (And I can practice it!)
But I recently noticed a situation where it might be wise to pay closer attention to someone else’s opinion …
For the sake of a deliberate creator’s personal privacy, let’s go with hypotheticals on this.
Let’s say you’re in close quarters with someone important to you – a friend, lover, colleague or family member, perhaps. (I hope you wouldn’t experience this with a mentor or spiritual guide!) And let’s say you work or live together, so there’s a lot of daily interaction.
And let’s also imagine this person has a critical opinion of you. And that you get to hear that opinion over and over, day after day, month after month. Maybe even year after year.
(Maybe some of you don’t have to imagine it because you’ve experienced it.)
Guys, you’ve got to have mad focus skills for that kind of input to not take root on some level.
We know how brainwashing works, right? And affirmations, for that matter.
It’s the systematic repetition of information that we eventually come to know as truth.
When you’re hearing something personally damaging, over and over again – I think that’s a smart time to pay attention to someone else’s opinion.
Just so you can get that sh*t handled.
Not because it’s true, but because it can wear on your vibe when you subject yourself to that kind of verbal abuse over and over.
Abe has said that when a stranger shares a negative opinion about us, it’s easier to shrug off. When it’s a parent, a spouse or a boss, and you’re hearing repeatedly how wrong/idiotic/incompetent/worthless you are, that’s harder to ignore. And yet – sometimes we try by turning a blind ear to it. (For one reason or another.)
Are you ignoring potentially detrimental input from others?
That’d be fine, if you really could (ignore it).
Or if it wasn’t an important reflection of our own inner vibe. But there’s something important to pay attention to here …
I’m not saying that the other person involved is to blame. (Although, hello, they may deserve credit for being a first class ass.)
We know we can’t experience what we aren’t a vibrational match to. And if you’re repeatedly hearing something negative from someone you love (or used to love, or have to work for) – that’s a reflection of something inside you.
That deserves some cleaning up.
Inside and out.
But we have to be aware of it in order to do that work. Which is why I’m advocating paying attention to those opinions that I used to be such a big fan of ignoring.
Your work here is to get straight with yourself and remember what the truth is – you are perfect, whole and complete. As is. Always. Automatically. Already. Right now.
That’s the truth.
(I guess that also applies to the one who’s telling you how rotten you are, too, technically.)
But if this input recurs repeatedly over time, that’s not good to ignore, my friends.
I’m not saying there are easy answers for managing it, but pretending it isn’t a problem does not strike me as a self-loving alternative.
And I might have this all wrong. (I’d love to hear your thoughts, please!)
Where I land with it is if you’re dismissing someone’s abuse because
- you don’t recognize it as such, or
- you’ve been hearing it so long you don’t even “hear” it any more, or
- maybe because there’s a part of you that thinks it’s true –
it’s time to get that straightened out.
It’s not good for you or your vibe to be exposed to repeated long term negative opinions about yourself.
This is Self Love 101. Or maybe it’s the graduate level 501 course – I don’t know.
But I do know that it’s not just a matter of addressing the external – the job is to get aligned to truth and love within as well.
What do you think? Is it possible to ignore verbal abuse from a loved one and not be affected by it? Thanks in advance for sharing!