If It's Work, It Doesn't Work
My good friend and ex-beau, who moonlights as my dog walker, lawn scooper and grocery shopper came by this morning to medicate feral cat Roxy.
(Roxy had a bunch of teeth pulled last week and is on pain meds and antibiotics. You might imagine a feral feline in pain isn’t the easiest cat to medicate!)
Anyway, my ex asked why I was on the computer on a Sunday morning.
I showed him an inbox with over 120 recent emails from paying clients, people who want to be paying clients, colleagues proposing collaborations, etc. and told him I also needed to get an article in to my editor and post something new on the blog.
That’s why I’m in the office on Sunday.
My ex (who is somewhat LOA savvy after his time with me) said to me, “If it’s work, it doesn’t work.”
Words he shared to help me remember that spending Sunday with an overflowing inbox and writing deadlines and a phone that kept ringing wasn’t actually the best thing I could do for myself if I wasn’t enjoying it.
If it’s work, it doesn’t work.
I’m shaking off a little embarrassment that I needed the reminder.
When we try too hard (or try at all) to make something happen, we keep that very thing from happening.
Not that “work” is bad in and of itself. It’s just when it feels like work, in a hard and exhausting way, rather than in an enjoyable and uplifting “flow” kind of way, that it’s not serving us.
We know the difference, right? If not, we’d be well served to get a handle on it.
It’s just like Abraham’s upstream vs. downstream analogy. When we’re paddling upstream, we’re headed in the exact opposite direction of what we want, because everything we want is downstream. And it’s not hard work to float downstream.
Ever since Fen posted in the Good Vibe U forum about “Allowing vs. Doing” I’ve been thinking about how sometimes it is enjoyable to do something, rather than just twinkle our nose and have it done immediately. (Although there are times that “instant” is my favorite way to go.)
Like putting Good Vibe U together – that’s been “work,” but fun work. Mostly, anyway. Helpful virtual assistants were happy to load content to the site, but I rather enjoyed the process myself. (Even if it wasn’t the smartest way for me to spend time.)
I could tell when it crossed the feel good line, and started to feel a little heavy. Which was my sign to back off till it got fun again, which it quickly did once it had a little space to.
Our opportunity as deliberate creators is to be sensitive enough to recognize once we’ve engaged the push or the try or the hard work energy. That vibe won’t take us where we want to go.
So on this Valentine’s Day, for some of my love-challenged clients, I would remind this:
If the relationship isn’t flowing naturally, that’s our cue to get looser, get easier, to shake it off and get our focus on something that does feel good. To take a deep breath, relax our grip on it, and remember what is right about the world.
Which, brings me back to why I’m still sitting in my office chair on Valentine’s Sunday morning. This is without a doubt one of the things I love most in life – engaging with you on the fascinating and somewhat challenging subject of deliberate creation when it comes to love, money, and everything else we ever wanted.
Life is good, huh?!
Happy Valentine’s Day, lovers.