Worry: the Accidental Love Curse

Worry: the curse disguised as LoveHere’s what I’ve noticed from the emails you guys send in …

you’re so generous in wanting to support your loved ones in enjoying life more.

You want your parents to be healthy, your spouses to be happy, and your kids to be safe.

You want your family to “get it,” you want your co-workers to end self-sabotaging behavior, and you often write on behalf of friends who are struggling.

You want to know the best way to help them understand, or what’s a good book that can show them the way.  What can you do to help things get better for the one you love, you ask.

I know one thing we can all get better at in order to help loved ones thrive …

… that is, to stop worrying about them.

Because worry is an energetic “curse.”  It is a projection of negative energy onto another.

And that doesn’t help, guys.

I know it’s natural for us to do this with someone we love, but stressing out on behalf of another is NOT helpful behavior.

Worrying about another is just a curse disguised as love.

Our thoughts are crazy powerful, and the last thing we want to do is saddle our loved one with negative frequencies.  Especially when they’re already down.

But that’s exactly what we’re doing when we see someone tangled up in contrast and we worry about them.

The next time you really want to help someone who seems to be having a rough go, remember to use your true power and envision them thriving:

  • See them coming out on top.
  • Picture them at their best.
  • Trust that it’s all working out for them.

And if you can’t do that, try not to pay them any attention at all.

On the other hand, for family members and co-workers you don’t like, go ahead and worry about them.   (If you don’t mind attracting some of that stuff to yourself as well, that is.)

For everyone else, though – let’s put an end to our inadvertent “love curses.”

Here’s what Abraham suggests:

You see someone who is struggling and having a hard time. If you look at them as they are you help them not at all. In fact they have downlifted you to their vibration rather than you uplifting them to yours.

But you go home that day and you ponder them and you say, ‘That’s something worth spending 68 seconds on.’ So you sit and you imagine them for 68 seconds, that person joyously romping through life until you feel the relief just wash over you. As you found it, you effectively assisted that person.

That does not mean that it’s a sure thing. That person may resist even this stronger beam of energy.

But there is a much greater probability that this person’s uplifted now that you’ve given it your positive attention, you see.  – Abraham-Hicks, 1996

Yes, it might be easier said than done, but it is good practice for a powerful creator like yourself.  🙂

  • July 13, 2013
  • Smart input from Matt, as usual. (Thanks, Matt!)
    When I’ve been in that situation, Nicki, I do two things:
    1) I remember that I’M running the show here. My vibe rules. And I’m committed to alignment. (That way I’m less likely to be affected by their worry when I’m grounded in well-being.)
    2) I ask them to stop worrying and explain why it’s not actually helpful. I tell them I recognize it’s their habitual way of showing love, but if they really want to support me, they can hold pictures of my success and think thoughts of things working out for me.
    Hope that helps. 🙂

  • Matt O'Grady says:

    Nicki, great question. I saw this and I was excited because I have recently been dealing with a similar situation with family members. They were asking for my support around a similar situation. My recommendation to them was to begin to explore a different story on the subject….something along the lines of:
    What if they began to worry less? Wouldnt that be nice?!
    What if their worrying thoughts had such a tiny effect upon my life compared to my own thoughts and feelings….?
    What if I let go of my worry about their worry and so there would be 1 less worry in the world?!
    What if there were no ‘curses’ and just lower and higher vibrations?
    What if I knew that every experience was always and is always leading to my higher good?
    I am sure Jeannette will have amazing wisdom on the subject but could not help but comment! Big Love, Matt

  • Nicki says:

    Oops, forgot to activate email notification on that last post.
    If you could reply here instead, that would be amazing! 🙂
    Thank you!

  • Nicki says:

    Jeannette, thank you once again. Good stuff! I have a question related to this,
    that’s been bugging me quite some time:
    If I have somebody in my life who worries about me (a lot!), and can’t be convinced not to,
    so is inadvertently cursing me continually… Then what the heck do I do?! Does that mean
    they’re cramping my manifesting style? And hindering my progress?
    I don’t like the idea of not being able to create the life I want because of some curse spoiling it all…!

  • jennifer says:

    I do care generally about everyone/everything… (realized that the one statement I made in my other comment, may have made it seem to the contrary lol)… think a mantra is in order to be able to release/ignore the worrying aspect of it.
    Something with ‘trust’ comes to mind, but it will be a work in progress lol 🙂

  • jennifer says:

    I do care generally about everyone/everything… (realized that the one statement I made in my other comment, may have made it seem to the contrary lol)… think a mantra is in order to be able to release/ignore the worrying aspect of it.
    Something with ‘trust’ comes to mind, but it will be a work in progress lol 🙂

  • Thanks for your comment, Jennifer. I suspected it was time for a reminder about how worry isn’t actually the form of love some of us think of it as!
    Here’s to changing our habits and finding more empowered ways to show love and support to those we care about. 🙂

  • jennifer says:

    for those ‘I don’t like’ – as mentioned above ie: family members, co-workers, etc…’ I wouldn’t even give thought to it, as energy is energy, and would be akin to tossing something precious of mine in the trash!! lol
    love the article… never viewed worry in this way before.
    thanks, Jeannette 🙂

  • And that’s a skill in itself, robin vk – to RECOGNIZE when we’re doing it! So many of us do it without awareness that we don’t really have a chance to make a different choice. Kudos to you for that!

  • robin vk says:

    Recovering lifetime worrier here. thank goodness I stumbled on LOA and GoodVibes last year. My life has been soooo much easier since I started recognizing the obsessive thoughts of worry that I have lived most of my life were all being (slowly) realized. I finally feel free! I now know, it only takes reaching for a better feeling or thought and life becomes Amazing!
    thanks Jeannette! (and the LOA community 🙂

  • I’ve found it does take some practice, Sandra, and that we never seem to run out of opportunities to practice it. lol Sometimes I get it right, sometimes I revert to old habits. But I like to think I’m getting better at it every day.
    Thanks for reading! 🙂

  • Sandra says:

    This one came up and smacked me on the back of the head, thank you! I find it funny that it is so easy to forget this when it comes to people that I am emotionally attached to and I fall back into the habit of wanting to solve instead of focussing on the best of them. Thanks for the frequency changer! Timely post, as usual!

  • Matt, that is such a great gift to give another! “I remember that just as I am powerful, so are they.” Amen to that!

  • Matt O'Grady says:

    Super Post!
    This used to be a really big area of focus for me, I come from a ‘worrying family’, always some drama or another to focus on, complain about etc most of it was usually silly and clearly just an act of patterns playing themselves out. So, when I had one of my first ‘heart awakening’ experiences, I was feeling all this extra love and emotions for those I was close to and even those I was not, the world, the poor, etc and it really, really made me sad for a time. It took time for my love to evolve to a new level, remembering as you put it Jeannette:
    “Our thoughts are crazy powerful, and the last thing we want to do is saddle our loved one with those frequencies. ”
    That is how I fuel my outlook on people I care about who are in ‘need’, I remember that just as I am powerful, so are they, as I am a divine child of Source so are they, as I can release fear and embrace love, so can they, as I can embrace abundance, so can they, as my life had changed radically, so can theirs, my highest level of joy is available to them as well, and even more….
    I go on like that using the Abe rampage technique and by the time I am done, I feel great and I feel great about them! 🙂

  • Actually, Jessica, those are the words I hear most often from readers and clients. It does take an astute creator to know that we can’t protect ourselves from anything – kudos to you for that!

  • Jessica says:

    Jeanette, I love your blog. I just want to kindly point out some irony, although I’m sure you didn’t mean it in this way, you said we want our spouse, parents ect to be happy and our children to be *safe*. Why not happy? safe isn’t a very in the vortex word because it suggests that someone is usually or otherwise in danger. and then you tell us not to worry about other people lol. again I adore your work it’s some of the best out there I just wanted to point that out.

  • Glad it hit the spot, Cheryl. Thanks for the kind words!
    And Sue, that is so true! I’m still not sure my guy gets it, even though I’ve tried to explain to him that to love him is NOT to worry about him. (He interpreted it as LACK of love when I didn’t worry about him!)
    Lots of retraining/reprogramming for some of us. 🙂

  • Sue Elliott says:

    Brilliant, Jeannette! I love this article. We’ve been so enculturated to believe that worry is a form of love. This is an awesome explanation of precisely why that’s not true. Sharing a link to this now 🙂

  • Cheryl Corrente says:

    This is an awesome post!!! And also very timely for me!!
    Thanks so much!

  • The message gets through to LOA savvy folks, Jesann, but with others it doesn’t land as well. lol
    But even for those who understand energy and our creative power often find ourselves in habits of worry. (When my retriever was beginning to fail in her old age, the best I could do was try not to focus on it, because whenever I thought about her all I could do was worry. And I know this stuff!)
    Thanks for reading and for posting, Jesann. 🙂

  • Jesann says:

    AUGH!! Please tell this to everyone I know except for the, like, ten people who already get it!!!!!!!!
    Thank you.

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