You're On!

spotlight1.jpgCouple things after last night’s election.  Although I didn’t see McCain’s concession speech, I read several tweets from folks who were super impressed with it. 
Some even said if they had seen this (gracious and classy) side of McCain during the campaign, we may have had different results.
That’s interesting.  It made me wonder how much of what McCain did and said during the campaign came from him and how much was directed by others (who told him what to do & say to improve his chances).  ?
And how some of the criticism of Palin was that her “handlers” scripted her every move and word; that they’d taken the likeable Sarah out of the equation and ruined her confidence in the process.  Many said she’d be better off just being her natural self.
On a related vein, I’ve noticed occasionally when someone interviews me, the conversation before (and after) the recording is often more relaxed, casual and entertaining.  When we’re live the discussion sometimes gets more stilted, formal, and careful.  Not always, but sometimes.  (I love the exceptions, which I’ve had many of recently!)
Have you noticed that at times in your own life?  When we think we’re “on,” or when something “big” is at stake, our energy sometimes shifts in ways that doesn’t always serve.  Sometimes it makes us tense or anxious, or leads us to behave out of character.  (Certainly it does the opposite, as well, like when a “high stakes” situation calls us forth in a positive way – and we are unusually brilliant or eloquent or considerate.) 
What I’m getting at is that when we aren’t true to ourselves it doesn’t lead us to where we want to go.  When we start pretending or cautioning or taking action that isn’t in alignment with who we really are, we don’t come out winners – however we personally define that.
It’s crucial to remain true to yourself – no matter what’s happening. 
How else could we enjoy the ride, anyway?  And isn’t that what it’s all about? 
Our true selves are fueled by love.  If we take any action that isn’t in alignment with love, we leave our true selves behind and we’re not aligning with results that thrill and delight us.
Doncha think?
Example, all my best dates were when I was being myself, rather than being a good date.  (And I know the difference!)  My best writing is when I write from the heart, not from what I think my editor or clients want to hear.  My best days are when I follow the inspiration within, rather than let something else guide my choices.
Why would it be any different when the stakes get higher?  (Which is just a perception, not a reality.  Although I admit, to me last night’s election did feel like lots was at stake.)
Am I making this up – or do you also have experiences that show being true to your nature serves you best?  I’d love to hear about it …
PS – in the meantime, I have to admit I’m puzzling over how Abraham didn’t find much hope with a candidate who inspired feelings like this all over the globe, not just here in the U.S.

  • November 5, 2008
  • Kelly says:

    It never works when it is authentic, does it? You are a gift, again, and pop up just when I need to be reminded of a certain message (like letting go).
    I just finished watching a 60 Minutes segment with Obama’s strategy team (post election) and essentially they said “what you see is what you get”. That he decided he was doing it authentically (my words) or the people would simply not elect him.
    I don’t think McCain actually wanted Palin and then I agree-they didn’t let her be who she was. Fatal mistake.
    Thanks to you. Lots of kind words today.

  • Gillian says:

    Oh that’s interesting Jeannette! So we both have a German heritage, ha ha!

  • Yeah, my mom immigrated from Holland when she was young and my dad comes from the original Mormon settling pioneers.
    In fact, when I signed up for German class in high school, my dad told me to drop out because it was a “slap in the face” to my Dutch family. I sure didn’t get it, but that’s because no one really talked much about their experience of the war (which is not a fun story to hear). I was thinking this is as close as I’ll ever get to learning Dutch!
    So, I got two years of Latin, two years of French, and what I really want to learn now is Spanish!! lol

  • Tia says:

    Hmmm part Cherokee Indian Part Dutch 😉 hehe Ok I got the Dutch part from someone you were tweeting!

  • Gillian says:

    No Jeannette, what’s your dual heritage? I can only judge by the picture on your website and you look 100% caucasian to me!!

  • Tia says:

    @Mark ~ I am enough just as I am. That simple statement is profoundly moving and my new status message on facebook. Wow, thanks for that!
    Also ~ if you are not being you, who are you being? Gems all around today!
    Jessica, so happy to hear about your happy ending 🙂 It pays to trust our instincts ay? Many hugs xx

  • Gillian says:

    Thank you Leslie, I really appreciate your comment and your wonderful poem. That’s what I have been working on the past 2 years: My self-esteem and confidence. Just being happy and proud of who I am and accepting myself as I am, without worrying about how people perceive me and label me. I embrace both cultures now and its so liberating not trying to be something else.
    Thank you Leslie!

  • Kudos to you, Tami! Good job on letting your true self shine through – in an interview, no less! That’s easier said than done!

    Mark, you’re echoing my favorite words! “complete whole and perfect as is, right now, automatically, all the way, already, always.”

    I think you’re right – it’s the fear of not being enough that drives all this inauthentic silliness. To embrace and love ourselves as is right now is an obvious and immediate remedy.

    Thanks for posting, you two!

  • Mark Semple says:

    Some of us hot guys like you all just as you are. 🙂
    Authenticity rocks. It’s the only way to be – and there is no in between. You are authentic or you are not.
    So … if you are not being authentic then you are really being dishonest.
    How would support you if you were looking to start a relationship?
    All too often we assume roles, airs and graces to impress the other person. Many times it works and you have a relationship. For some it goes deeper and becomes a marriage. At some point in time, authenticity will prevail. It’s one of those fundamental entities, like truth that just can’t be suppressed.
    You may wake up one morning with the realization that you have been living life as someone else. So you shift into the real you, your other half doesn’t mesh with it and the relationship is in trouble.
    We attract that which we focus on and are in alignment with. When you come from the clear space of authenticity, that vibration is the most powerful and you are fully tuned in. When the answer comes – clearly intended for the real you – you receive it as you’re fully present.
    A key part of why we stress out or make some shifts is because we have a feeling of not enough. ie: we are not enough as we are for this person to like us or love us.
    So, we’re not seeing ourselves as we are posturing for them to see us. Doesn’t quite seem like the recipe for success.
    I’ve learned some of this the hard way. For a significant portion of my life, I was not comfortable in my own skin or where I was at. Always felt the need to be something or somewhere else. Until I got there, then needed to start the process all over again.
    My journey in spirituality and LOA led me to the one place that matters – within. Simply put, I am enough just as I am. Everything that is meant for me is going to be received from my authentic space. And, all I have to do is relax, allow it and trust the process.
    After all, if you are not being you, who are you being?
    You are whole, powerful, complete and perfect just as you are.

  • Tami says:

    here is MY PS….I use
    “actually” a lot don’t I?!! sorry! I like punctuation too!!!!

  • Tami says:

    Of course at this time in MY life the job interview comes to mind VERY quickly 🙂 Today I actually had an interview where the President of the company actually said- I think you would be a great fit here- I can tell you are lots of fun – turns out that the job is not for me BUT I needed to hear that – YES someone out there does think I can be the cat’s meow (that one was for you Jeannette) the interviews just feel soooo much better when you are not trying to be “on” in the “on” way we are speaking of- and of course the dating thing and for me that spills over into any meeting of new people-we are all much better as our true self anyway-right?- how do those lines go?
    stuffy lady- “well I never!”
    man having fun with life-“well maybe you should!”
    I am interested in the opinion of Obama’s aura as well!!!!

  • Paul. says:

    Thanks for the lovely poem/prayer, Leslie!
    I usually try to do that and then I follow it up with the “Wouldn’t it be nice…?” game. (I love me my games.)
    Thanks, Leslie!

  • Gillian, Iyabo was just on twitter this morning quoting Obama when he called himself a “mutt.” (Had to be in reference to the dog-shopping his girls are doing.)
    Leslie’s right, it’s the best of both worlds. (I’ve got a dual heritage as well, can you tell?)

  • Leslie Richter says:

    Of course Paul you could be saying well that was another great date, and I survived. Could it get any better?????
    And Gillian mixed is always the most beautiful, the best of of both worlds, what could be better.
    Here is a poem for both of you:
    O God,
    Give me the courage to see the truth
    about myself,
    No matter how beautiful.
    XXOO Leslie

  • Gillian says:

    Yap, I can relate to this subject. I am of mixed heritage. My mother is Chinese from Indonesia and my father is German. At times I tried to hide being Eurasian, dreading to be different from others. I wanted to fit in. In Europe I was always labeled “the Asian”, here in Asia I am labeled “the Eurasian” and I was either too Asian or too European. Now, I just want to be myself. Who cares, if I am too Asian or too European, I am who I am and I take the best from both cultures. There is no need to feel or be different, just be myself and be proud and happy about who and what I am.

  • Thanks for this great thought/quote, Paul: “We all make such fools of ourselves. Some of us just have more fun with it than others.”

    A keeper for sure!!

    Here’s to feeling the fun of being a fool! lol

    Thanks for posting, Paul.

  • Paul. says:

    I can’t speak to the speeches (I missed them) but the rest of the topic brought to mind a few things (as they always do, Jeannette!)
    Of course, I have had (and still have) similar experiences as the ones you all are recounting. As I was thinking over some of my experiences, I realised how much I was operating from a place of Lack during them. If I was truly grounded in Abundance (or Love or Worth), then I shouldn’t need my job interviews (or dates, etc.) to supply those things, right? Yah, it’s easier, for me, to type than to live. But I’m glad I’ve recognised this.
    I’m reminded of some of the earlier writings of Abraham, from their workshops, pre-books. At that time, they used a metaphor of a valve to explain their concepts of Wellbeing and resistance. As we know, Wellbeing is always flowing to us; is our “valve” open to let it all in or are we resisting that flow? I can feel in stressful situations my valve clamp shut tightly. How can any part of my true self get through that? (Not unless it’s packing an acetylene torch and a welder’s mask, that’s for sure.)
    I’ve also reminded on how I was pre-paving those situations. “OMG, what if I do this….?” or “Will they think I’m overqualified?” or…. None of that internal talk can be helping, so I’ll have to remind myself of Jeannette’s “enthusiastic” foster kitty and change my pre-paving more and more.
    I’ve noticed that Abraham’s quotes-of-the-day have more often than I’ve recalled been talking about our fear of death and maybe that is germane to this topic. After all, if we can come to terms with death, well, then that is the worst that can happen to any of us, right? I’ve gotten really good at reminding myself “So, it was another lousy date; it’s not the end of the world, is it?” You know what? It isn’t.
    Which brings me to yet another one of my mantras, borrowed from a very colorful friend of mine who has moved on. She would remind me (and she spoke in italics, that’s for sure), “We all make such fools of ourselves. Some of us just have more fun with it than others.”
    I’m working at becoming one of the former instead of one of the latter group.

  • Jeff Atherton says:

    Hey Jeannette,
    What you’re saying reminds me alot about what Dedpak has been talking about in this 6 part video thing put on by Unity.
    Blue Skies,

  • Funny I would read your post here today, Jeff. I was particularly missing you this morning!

    Thanks for the link … off to check it out now.

  • Jessica, you’re reminding me of when I interviewed at a bank, the first interview I was super nervous. I really really wanted the job.

    After we were done, he guy who interviewed me suggested I talk to someone else on the floor who also had an opening, so I talked to him, too. That seemed like an even cooler job.

    And then that guy suggested I talk to someone else who also had a position available, so by the third interview that morning I was feeling pretty confident (that they liked me enough to let me keep talking to other managers) and that there were plenty of great jobs to pick from!

    I got an offer on the coolest job of them all (which was the third one) and enjoyed many great years with those folks. I’m sure it’s because by the time I walked through that third door my confidence was WAY up. lol

    Kudos to you for giving your sweetie another chance!! ha Great story, Jessica!!

    Thanks for sharing it here. 🙂

  • Jessica Earl says:

    I had always been really nervous for job interviews. I had been very shy growing up and the interview process was more so intimidating because someone would be “judging” me.
    The best way for me would be to just have a trial period where I could do my work, not talk about my work (such as you’d do in an interview).
    Finally, after years, it was more like, if I don’t get it being myself, then it wasn’t meant to be! I’m much more at ease and it helps me find bosses who I am more compatible with anyhow! I wore jeans to my last interview with black jacket and black heeled boots. It was tasteful, neat but still relaxed. Funny how when I got there my future boss had forgotten about the interview that day and was dressed in his bicycle gear- he rides to work. (Oh I should point out these are office jobs).
    Tia, I relate to the dates too! My husband and my first date was a bit off. He was so nervous I almost didn’t go on a second date. I’m SO glad I did! 🙂 I just had a feeling to give him a chance to get by the nerves so I could see who he really is. His body language was SO off and he seemed so negative. He is one of the most positive people I know!! He’s so glad he doesn’t have to have any more first dates!! Me too!! (Although I do come across nervous first dates when I make a friend, have a new appointment, or trying anything new!)
    thanks everyone!!
    PS. Oh yeah, I was equally moved by both speeches, although I only saw the clips.

  • Good point, JM. Michael Neill talks about getting a highly coveted role simply by not caring out it too much. And I think singer Taylor Hicks showed us that example, too.

    That is the trick, isn’t it? To release attachment so we CAN be our true and best selves.

  • JM says:

    Oh yes…both speeches were so great last night, and I definitely appreciated Mccain’s! It was actually inspiring and genuine. I hope it also really did inspire unity from his supporters.
    I definitely know the feeling about being “on” vs just being more natural…it is a delicate balance in auditioning! Even in performing sometimes. Mainly I think we performers can shoot ourselves in the foot by making this mistake at auditions. It’s hard not to really…since they mean so much to us! It is amazing when everything clicks and you can just let yourself truly shine without all the silliness!

  • He’s 1.5 already, Michael?! Oh my word!!

    Well, that’s a great year and a half of living with the perfect example of authenticity.

    Interesting you’ve experienced this difference between attachment and non-attachment onstage … “choking the life out of it” is a description I well understand!

    Thanks for posting, my friend.

  • Michael says:

    Great points! I notice it when I’m onstage and really ramping up to NAIL song. I almost always don’t. I think there’s just a subtle way to ‘play’ into the groove we seek, but we (I, that is!) get so serious about it, so attached to the outcome, that we choke the life out of what’s possible.
    It’s an old habit for me, but I watch my little 1.5 year old and how he doesn’t let very many habits or over-attachments rule his day-to-day life. He discovers a day as it goes by, and while he has some strong opinions about how that day should go, he almost always finds ways to play and enjoy the space he’s in.
    He’s naturally him…no scripts…no uber-expectations…

  • Oh, Tia, I HATE how the super hot guys sometimes inspire us to leave our true selves behind. lol Been there, done that.
    It is a reflection of how we see ourselves, isn’t it? (Less than, not quite good enough, etc.)
    Your words about McCain’s speech once again make me wish I’d seen it – I better log on and watch it online somewhere.
    Doubtful I’ll enjoy any of that, though, more than I enjoyed THESE words of yours, Tia: “How much nicer is it then, to be who we are and know that we will be loved or hated for that rather than be loved or not for who we aren’t?”
    Brilliantly spoken and important to remember! Thanks for contributing to this post, Tia. Much appreciated!

  • Authenticity is one of my core values, Leslie, so I wondered if I was prejudiced in feeling this way. Thanks for showing me that I’m not alone in believing coming from your core makes a big difference in how things play out.
    You know – you’re a good one to ask this … Russ’ sister says Obama has a “black” aura (she says she can see people’s auras). I think her Republican bent might be affecting her vision – ha – but what do I know?
    Well, I DO know to ask YOUR opinion … what do you see? Besides that he’s present? (Which I think is a wonderful quality!)
    Thanks for posting, Leslie!

  • Tia says:

    Ahhhh I so know whatchu mean sista!
    Eg: When I went on a date with a hottie who I thought was perfect for me (looks, career, family oriented, etc etc), I got nervous and even though I tried to be myself I knew I was aiming to get him to like me more than I was aiming to enjoy the date. When I go on dates with guys I don’t think are ‘that hot/successful/whatever else’ I am so much more myself and actually enjoy it more.
    Obv thats cos I think some guys are a better ‘catch’ and and I must be as good a catch for them for it to work.. Its that fear of rejection/not being good enough that makes us want to prove that we ARE … funny how we humans are.
    Same thing before and after work and visa interviews, any kind of test etc. In those testing situations where I think I have something to lose, I tend to be more anxious about making the right / good impression that will get me the ‘prize’ rather than just enjoying the process whether I get the pot of gold at the end or not.
    And yes, McCain’s speech was the most gracious I have ever seen, simply amazing in his genuine admiration and respect for Obama’s success. That was a man being true to the core last night and I see how being genuine is the best gift anyone can give to the world.
    How much nicer is it then, to be who we are and know that we will be loved or hated for that rather than be loved or not for who we aren’t?
    What a wonderful way to grace the world.

  • Anonymous says:

    p.s. I was wondering the same thing about Abraham. But then in the spiritual world viewpoints are more nuetral.
    HaHa I started with my p.s. first!
    I love this post, almost as much as I love you.
    I sure have noticed that about friendships, when I am my most goofiest and least “on” those are the friendships that are the most effortless.
    I noticed this as well when I was in the healing business, when someone came to you who sincerely wanted your services they received the work way more than someone who had been gifted the massage, often they didn’t even show (physically or emotionally).
    The thing I liked the most about the president’s speech last night is that he made an effort to be present with it.
    It is something you can’t help but notice.
    We all read energy so we all can spot when a person is gone or present. And I beleive as you do that it really serves your higer good to pay attention to your own presence. How authentic do you want to this life of yours anyways?
    Love Leslie

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